longest diary diarist died

my future, i am already practising.

also, don’t you just love irony?

ps. thank you to whoever upgraded my flickr account.

two things i neglected to mention from last nite: (oh yeah we went to a leafs game)

1. some drunk old guy said that i LOOKED LIKE CHRISTMAS and instead of coming up with a witty remark i said something DANGEROUSLY uncool instead which was THANKS I LOVE CHRISTMAS. and it is also an outright lie.

2. i pretty much black-out sang don’t tell me by madonna at karaoke AND i let the host make RAYMI IS CRAZY jokes about me before and after like he always does and hit the fart samples and i did not even flip out at all.

ps. somehoe my flickr account was upgraded to pro how did that happen is it because i am now the most famous person in the world? awesome.

CBC RADIO 3 BLOG INTERVIEW

MEMEMEMEMEMMEME! ME! me.

Raymi: right. Ok, so you are pretty legit.

Raymi: that’s nice. So, my “s” key is busted. It is kind of fucking with my equilibrium.

dear raymi

love buz

this kid is like my little protege except i never asked him to be and he sends me a message every three months describing his life in infinite detail and i don’t read it. today out of an act of kindness i have decided that he can be my NEW token orange-haired friend (sorry ward). so the position for boy orange-haired friend is taken, dudes. sorry. he is fully copying my life and what i consider to be a d-class stalker and don’t ask me what that is cos i cannot explain it.

right now i am depressed because fil is too busy to discuss hamburgers with me.

ANTM TONITE!

DEAR: THE COLOUR WHITE

THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FACE!

hug

YOUR PAL RAYMI

And we all know Moms don’t have shit to do all day when their spoiled brat kids are with the nanny they pay a bazillion dollars to take care of their kid they don’t want, so they have a lot of time to kill –

yeah it’s like i am the only blog on the internet or something i think the internet is racist against my once a month tit shot, zero adsense/google ads and the like will accept me cos of my content and i have not ever emailed them to switch it and i continue to be scandallous or whathaveyou FOR FREE i think i am owed at least something for that otherwise i will copy mom blogs TODAY WE MADE OUR OWN JAM FOR THE FIRST TIME WITHOUT USING CERTA IT TURNED OUT GREAT
raymi | Homepage | 12.06.06 – 1:16 pm | #

POLLTIME!

ok i am discussing this with my friend right now my INTERNET friend which actually means someone i will probably never meet but i want the entire world to think we are major best friends, hmm i will have to write about this later, anyway, we are discussing my bitchiness and he thinks i should not go to war on dooce cos i have a chance of winning and so if she gets all agro on me i can be like oh i was thinking how awesome dooce is and then she ends up looking bad somehow instead of me even tho i started all of it ahaha.

i told him i disagree, i think people like my inherent bitchiness, everyone loves a villain right? he thinks i am actually a very sweet person, and i can be, i mean, i am, but i am also a complete witch too.

so, what i want to know is, do you like me more for my bitchy or for my sweet?

if prohibition never ended

everyone shut up this is the best flickr account ever! also omfg.

oh this too.

QUICK!

tell me how many friends you had in highschool no cheating!

HOW LOW CAN YOU GO? i am pretty bad at the limbo, but i do enjoy the song, see?

JESSICA SIMPSON FUCKS UP

oh great another weblog awards thing. this one is the real deal of the real deals. i’m in the running for best diarist (i can’t get over that word) and i am going up against dooce, someone i know nothing about but i DO know that she’s big?

are we polar opposites, if so i may as well give myself a massive headache right now.

is it douche or doos cos if it’s douche, i think she is going to win.

that’s kind of mean of the weblog awards to put me up against a big-whig, hey, why not put me up against the best lobster and steak meal EVER while you’re at it!

merkley???: dooce is married to my old room mate

me: oh really

merkley???: they live off the blog money
no other jobs

me: im so gonna lose right
omg

merkley???: she won last year

me: she gets that much money?

merkley???: yup
supports the whole fam
travels everywhere etc..
when the news needs a woman blogger to give a soundbite she’s the one
she has been big for a few years now
i skim the rss only because her husband is my old room mate and band mate

me: do u think i stand a chance

merkley???: umm — man — she has a lot of readers
i dont know how they do the voting
i mean i saw that i was nominated in the comments for photoblog more than anyone else but it never ended up happening
probably because i didnt contact them or act like i cared
also because of all the nude stuff

me: well her blog immediately when i go to it i feel there is a yawn factor

merkley???: i mean a couple of years ago my band won best sf band in a readers poll but we had only played 2 times

me: like yeah yer smart and clever and whatever
but we get it

merkley???: she is a pretty good writer
the subject matter is boring though

me: yeah but entertainmentwise

merkley???: its all about her kid

me: exactly

merkley???: when she was writing about depression it was better

me: like just write a book
i can imagine

merkley???: moms love the fuck out of her
young moms
but still, ocasionally if she has a good post title i will read it and be slightly entertained

me: yeah well i have to get the bitches to like me before they are knocked up

merkley???: she aint a hack
this will be great exposure maybe

me: should i pretend i have a child
well im taking back the NOT being a mom
if she wins everyone will be like i want to be a mom when i grow up

merkley???: well if you wanna start a controversy just start talking shit on her

me: if i win they will be like i want to party forever WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOO!
i already am
ha
i can see it now RAYMI IS DUMB HER TEMPLATE IS REALLY OLD AND SHE DRINKS A LOT SHE HAS NO BRAINCELLS SHE DOESNT DESERVE HER BOYFRIEND
FUCK
dooce is probably someone i would totally admire but because of the weblogs i have to crap all over her

merkley???: her readers are very loyal
i never met her -
they live in utah
actually i think a lot of her readers would like you
she’s not conservative at all
she is just stuck in a boring life right now
yeah i dont think she is hateable from an objective stand point
you have to hate motherhood or some other thing

me: yeah like surviving and making something of yourself
haha

merkley???: she was an early blogger too

me: i saw that 2001

merkley???: she got national attention when she got fired for stuff she wrote on her blog
and she rode that wave for a long time
although she does have the chops writing wise and she also never misses a day — much like you

me: oh hmm

merkley???: i prefer your blog a billion times more though
and i’m not just saying that

me: ok i will win then and if i dont i will have the perfect defense, something beyond immature
oh i can make age jokes
and 15 minutes of fame is up etc

merkley???: hmmn

me: she seems to be riding the got fired wave still

merkley???: dooce appeals to thirty somethings who think that they used to be cool once
but are pretty sure they arent anymore but they dont care

me: cynical kids of boomers

merkley???: yup

me: i cant tell what is more annoying between the two

merkley???: she has all the ex mormons with her too

me: great
well i have the ex catholics

merkley???: she writes a lot about being an ex mormon rebel living in utah

me: no i dont
how bad ass she is
right
haha
his is all going on my blog btw

merkley???: the main thing that is super duper annoying about her and jon is that they think they are being edgy but they are soooooo not

me: you are my campaign manager

merkley???: haha
welll

me: im putting yer opinions i hope it doesnt destroy your friendship
but really i hope it does
aha

merkley???: she is gonna be kinda miffed to see my name on your blog

me: yep

merkley???: i dont give a fuck
she aint my friend

me: TODAY IN UTAH I DID SOMETHING SO EXTREME I CANNOT EVEN BLOG ABOUT IT

merkley???: i never met her and my only interaction with her directly was negative
yeah

merkley???: i never met her and my only interaction with her directly was negative
yeah
i was in a band with her husband for years
and there are sour grapes there because i am the only one in the band that actually still lives a somewhat music related/ art related lifestyle

me: do they say things like GROW UP
thats precious

merkley???: they were always jealous that i got all the attention in tyhe band even though i wasnt even on stage

me: well she will have tony pierce on her side and he hates you and you hate him sothis is just perfect

merkley???: dude

me: oh here it comes

merkley???: i’m totally on your side
and you can quote me
and it makes it super personal

me: this is going to be great
or a huge mess

merkley???: her humor is self depricating
she doesnt do the I’M AWESOME shit
you are indie man
she’s soo mainstream
she’s like a slightly drunk katie couric
who is bi-polar

me: more like lamestream

merkley???: ha

merkley???: making fun of her readers is probably a better approach
they all really think she is edgy
she is a feather in their boring caps
they think they are edgy when they read the F word on her blog
blows their minds man

me: AAAHAHAHAHAAA

merkley???: she has the same kind of readers as tony
the kind that have to be all excited about Postal Service or some other equally bland “INDIE” music

me: who the fuck are they

merkley???: a terrible band for total nerds

me: i figured

merkley???: graphic designers
horn rimmed glasses

me: THIS SONG IS CALLED IMPACT IT IS ABOUT MY FAVORITE FONT

VOTING BEGINS THURSDAY so vote for me for best diarist and whoever else for whatever else. bye.