saw the handsome furs last nite this band that opened for them silver something i forget the guy said our show in london sucked bla blah etc and i yelled out LONDON SUCKS and he repeated it on the mic and i got a laugh from the crowd then he i guess had to damage-control in case the mayor of london was there and said no no london does not suck.
this guy outside was lecturing fil about his camera but didn’t know what he was talking about and i got aggro and said hey man you got a lot of opinions and he goes yeah i DO and i said so where is YOUR camera then and he goes oh in my STUDIO and i go oh yeah your STUUUDIO and he goes yeah i like to go out and have FUN with my friends (yeah i’m CERTAIN your friends LOVE it when you talk at them so fun!) and i said oh so WE are not having fun right now then the homeless dude who i kicked cos he called me a cunt and then punched me walks over and i said oh that guy punched me and the fucker starts chatting him up saying hey man what about the drugs (you are doing) like totally demeans him so i give him a smoke and fil and i go to stand somewhere else and don’t even bother to go back into the show, instead we go play pacman and pinball at the tap like the winners we are.
i have pictures of this fuckbag i will post later when i piece together more of the garbage he was saying, basically he was telling some strangers like it is and said fil’s camera was like 6 thousand dollars, oh right he was a “professional” photographer who uses film and canNOT stand digital and said my little camera was just as good as fil’s dslr RIGHT.
that’s like when cassettes came out 8-track hippies got all defensive i am getting angry all over again. i would have gotten crazier on him but fil was using i am a nice guy tone but then MY tone escalated fil’s rage and by then it was too late cos homeless guy came over this is an awesome story for 8 in the morning i am so totally ripped still and i have a phsyical in an hour to hangover to don’t be jeals.
LOOK AT HIM POINTING! i was going to make a joke about his bumbleebee graphic shirt, didn’t. look at his tattoos sorry short guy has i am a bad guy (so aren’t) tats pfft you are SUCH a designer open the window and call heidi klum thanks.
and OH, chuck taylors, how, original. don’t worry buddy i got a picture of you having all the fun that you are having for us, funster!
even this guy was pissed off for us, he asked if we all knew each other i just laughed and said NO and he shook his head and moved away so ruler of the sidewalk could have more room. i got the feeling it was his first show in awhile and had that first show in awhile glow like the first day of spring and he had to unleash his bullshit onto the masses he hasn’t mingled with in so long.
ps. self-righteous poseur moral blow-ups regarding my little street fight from last summer, had i told you that guy was black your tune woulda been eons different so eat it, this is like the scene in a time to kill when matthew mcConaughey is telling the courtroom about the little girl getting raped and everyone is imagining it in their heads going well i never and are all sad and then at the end he goes now picture her WHITE. you all thought i kicked a white guy don’t pretend you didn’t and not that it changes anything for me, for you it does, no one would have said anything about it or even thought twice about it if i said this big bad black dude fucked me up after i kicked him you people make me sick yes that’s right haha.
here we go planet eat/make what raymi does first guy winner that i can remember.
lucky i geared myself up for the hot last friday, first time eating more than one jalapeno slice in my life, this was like eating a jalapeno sandwich fuck i couldn’t even taste the chili in those cookies.
i love you arteries here is a present.
fil’s sister and her fiance and i had a v. nice afternoon, just letting you know.
ps. i just googled fiance to see if i spelled it right and fiance.com pops up, check it out hahahaa.
i think i’m in a summer blog funk, what do you guys want more of, tell me in the comments, guides (guides to what?), movie reviews, long mean tangents about children?
ooh i’m almost winning please click and give me some more thumbs up votes thanks.
we saw the simpsons movie last nite, it was good, could have been cruder though.
this jacket was about 700 dollars and fil was starting to fall in love with it! heinous take that piece of shit off right now!
he didn’t buy these he said he would look like a poseur, only thirty bones for a pair of ponys. mistake.
the day after i bought my expensive pants and my oath to not buy anything for a month i get blasted in the face by all these cheapo ‘kinis.
fil was sexually aroused by the one on the left and said he wanted to remove my limbs and head cos torsos are HOT.
RIP max, may you be fighting the good fight for treats and pats on the head in doggy heaven xoxoxo.
the russian futurists played a show on the drake patio, we got in before they started charging for the door, supposed to start at three, didn’t until after four so to kill time i drank three mojitos.
felt a bit obnoxious for sitting at the bar, so close, but needed shelter from the sun SO HOT yesterday my friends!
the tip to ordering mojitos is JUST DO IT don’t ask how much they cost cos once you’re on the second you are like i will BECOME a mojito i don’tz cares, ps. one wasn’t listed on the bill, score, it’s ok we are huge tippers. i still don’t know how much they were.
i kept sucking up mint so i’d have a mouthful of drink and one leaf caught in my throat and would gag and got goosebumps up and down my arms and back, almost spewed all over the bar which would have been a party.
what, hello? can i have extension: i am the most fucking important person in the world please? no i will not hold.
everyone blew it for missing out all zero friends of mine, that’s right, you know who you aren’t.
gettin’ a little bored here, fil and i have used up all of our stored conversations and began to pick skin flakes and hairs off each other’s faces.
number 2
yesterday was no shower day so i did the bangs upsweep rich fucking asshole girl thing that the hills and laguna beach has shamelessly destroyed for greasy scalp people like me, anyway, at least i look like a vampire all day do you know how much of a tool it feels like to take a photo of yourself in front of 40 drake poseurs sitting behind you in the hot sun watching your every move out of boredom? it feels like mojitos.
ANOTHER PICTURE OF THE BAR AND SUNGLASSES THAT EVERYONE WAS WEARING YESTERDAY!
used to hang with glasses girl (left) she’s married to the whitest dude in the band i know they are ALL honkies, which one?
duder on the left, married to him.
third and final and free!
well this is attractive, i’m sad that elizabeth isn’t here, she is the one who got me to listen to this band in the first place. i just finished drunk-dialing her for the first time.
more like the russian sunglassesists. shut up i love this band.
it’s nice of the drake to provide its clientele with masturbation booths.
ah home again for an underwear night in and nachos.
