here are all the places i visitted once i left the condo
shoppers to mail rizabeff‘s postcard i wrote several days ago, there was a lineup, i waited 20 seconds and some people collected behind me, then i left to tan, waited 5 minutes (since all the univeristy kids are back in town, no joke, they all inhabit my tanning salon, and, they are all dudes trying to extend their spring break/cuba tans and while it is annoying to have to wait a few minutes, sometimes 8, their using of the superbed heats the bulbs up for when i have a go and i think it is more effective for this guy) then supertanned for eight minutes. i tried to pay with a 20 i got out of the machine that had a good portion of itself missing, the tanning chick said sorry no, i pretended i didn’t know it was ripped. no biggie, at the video store renting 28 weeks later the girl took it because my eyes were so dazzling. then sashimi time, i got a small hot sake too and packed four pieces of the seared whatever it is for fil, some wasabi’d rice then went to the wine store to get a bottle of red and white for $6.45 each, nero brand?
then i went to try and mail that postcard again, but there was a line, so i walked out the in way and now i am home i just made fil listen to mariah carey’s fantasy with me, he asked why, i said because it is good, i think it can be considered oldschool if you ever had the experience of a grade eight class trip rollerskating night in quebec city, or you were in the now-defunct vice store on queen and it came on and this fabulous tiny gay guy danced all around you, then you’d get it, if not, then you are fil.
he got a new laptop btw, a *gasp* mac. i told him he got a mac because i don’t understand them and he can cheat on me easier. i DO understand them, i had to learn to navigate that bullshit when i worked at the women’s magazine and then at VICE once upon a time. it’s great for magazines, but i’m not a magazine.
this post is brought to you by sake.
i was thinking after my second cup of sake, that yeah i guess i am kind of weird, but at least i am good looking.
the necklace this italian girl made and gave to me in mexico, broke during thanksgiving dinner at fil’s mum’s.
i was tugging on it during a story about some loser who was telling fil’s stepdad at the bar how he gave ME my “ideas” and it pissed me off so much my necklace exploded, hundreds of beads everywhere. thanks a lot douchebag from the pub.
here’s the email i sent him:
dude, do you know how pathetic and untrue it is to be telling my parents-in-law that YOU gave ME my blog ideas!? stop talking about me dude or i will embarrass you to all hell on my blog and which ideas did you give me that i carried out exactly? cos all i can remember is you trying to sell me this venture capitalist bullshit that never fucking happened and was nothing but garbage and a guise to get me to hang with you at the bar while you ate a burger in front of me and then you shit-disturbed with adan’s gf, way to be a winner have fun partying at ****** for the rest of yer days and ps i have been blogging for 8 years now, way before i ever even knew you bravo
+++
my nana’s collage. she had done all my cousin’s except for mine and i said hey where’s mine? then she finally made it, and it’s the biggest one, to compensate maybe? pretty funny.
i was married young.
GO JAZZ! if you can believe it i am supposed to be a bad boy from disney’s pinnochio, that was the theme that year, you know the ones that turn into donkeys? the blue unitard is from ballet, i was 4 maybe.
that’s my papa as santa.
look how slutty i was in grade 5.
blurry cos i was laughing too hard.
i’m psyched to be wearing my winter coat under my costume.
updated version. all these fugly troll chicks were scowling at me the entire time, didn’t know what hit ‘em. you can hear me say oh stop frowning bitches you’re all sad. i am a nice person.
these losers thought they were american idol judges.
what the hell does 2*2*2* mean? i’m guessing something stupid, just a hunch.
this poseur over the mic says that she likes girls, interesting, for someone who claims to be a lesbian, you do an awful lot of female-hatin’ ps. if you and yer chums munch rug, singing salt n pepa’s whatta man (dancing along to it and mouthing all the words) is pretty suspect. i just deleted the video i made of it, it was such a terrible performance. when you are actually good or can entertain, then you have the right to sit and scowl.
you like girls cos you can’t get boyfriends. if you were a true-blue dyke, you would have been applauding my performances, instead, you sat there jealous and fat and lame yawn.
