haha it seems my sadness has infected the internet everyone is fucked right now, and, i think i’m pulling out of it too. sorry.
can people planning to join in on team blogslayer for oct. 26 and oct. 27 please leave comments or start talking to each other about it, leave suggestions, i propose for BEFORE matt’s massey hall gig oct. 26 we meet at mr. green jeans because it is a lame enough spot that it won’t be too slammed on a friday nite, it is v. close to massey hall as well. even if you aren’t going to the show you can still come and get my autograph, no hiding in the corner and staring at me like last year please. for the saturday, tony wants to hit the fox n fiddle for karaoke, i suggest maybe getting a private room (elsewhere) instead just to increase the mental retardation a tad, but i need to know how many people plan to come out that nite oct. 27 and if it is worthy of being stuck in a room with all of you, bonus side is you can be a mic hog and there are black lights and you can sneak in booze and they don’t care if you smoke so, everyone would have to pony up some dough for the room though, how responsible are you guys? …. i am officially stressed out about this, not as much as last year though, cos i was fatter. everyone vote, do you want lame free karaoke or cool $ karaoke?
false pockets, drive you mental when you get trapped in an OCD spiral you keep trying to tuck the loose inside white part in but there’s nowhere to tuck, why god WHY?
as threatened, i cut the shorts shorter so in the ass it looks a little um, interpretive? that’s if you interpret dumping in my pants!
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i am totally fucking emo thank you premenstrual/being sick/autumn/wet hair/zit/bad breath/retarded distended starvation belly/ingrown hair in my pubic region i keep inflaming that won’t go away/short fingernails/nothing fits right/finished reading my two books/sore throat etc.
cid just meowed and it made me more sad. kidding, he’s been ignoring me all day except for when i shared some prosciutto with him. i am at the last remnants of my makeup jar that makes me sad too and i was near the end of my conditioner, yep, sad again! i am too sad to go see the darjeeling movie and i am too sad to buy a curling iron something i have been planning to do for months. i am wearing black tights and red mary janes and my new dress but i am going to put on some other retarded outfit instead because i am letting sadness make all my decisions for me today ahha my postsecret post making fun of self-loathing, i’m going to take this blog back to 2003 pre-nervous breakdown, all emo, get ready.
postsecret rippage time! i stopped doing these posts cos reading those postcards bum me out hard, not cos i get emotional over them or anything (pfft) but because it shows how truly stupid, self-indulgent, and self-loathing humanity is, and every other postcard is about abortions and how guilty women feel about them. anyway more on that later.
someone’s been reading too many romance novels, i’m glad that right beneath this one someone commented I often think about what I would say in the trial that never happened for the rape that did. here’s a thought, how about often thinking about more productive things like how the planet is MELTING and maybe spreading the word about that instead via a postcard and NOT about your fantasy rape you are too ugly to have happen to you!
uh, this couple in particular? one word comes to mind and it rhymes with barf, no wait, it IS barf! stop picturing me and fil doing it you horny weirdo!
try harder kid! i smell BLAMING YOUR PROBLEMS ON OTHER PEOPLE much? your life, your problem, walk it off.
you must’ve been wasted when you wrote this one, what’s with the apostrophy w/ sometime‘s? yes that is the only burn i can think of.
ok you are asking for it, how fucking revolutionary i swear you must be the first fucking one on the planet to have that urge thank you for putting it into words for the rest of us, BRILLIANT! on sunday when i looked at the site there was a comment so stupid it has since been removed, something like yes i’ve done it before too and it FEELS SO GOOD!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN!
here is what someones else had to say i still have mine too, after a year and half. only two people know about that secret, and its right there in my purse and anyone could see it if they looked close enough. in a way, i think i’m holding onto it the way you hold onto any receipt; if you’re unsure of your purchase. and then another person said this I went to the same exact clinic and I feel guilty for not feeling guilty.
i am SO TIRED of hearing sob abortion stories GROW UP! call oprah while you’re at it, and, in the words of some rich old white guy, tommy, DO THE RIGHT THING!
yes i want to debate this, do you guys eat eggs? yes you do. do you cry when you eat eggs and keep your egg receipts? ungh i can’t do this. you are not mary magdalene, no one cares. also, 450 bones? i have a feeling your guilty conscience might have something to do with oh, brainwashing, come to canada next time and get over yourselves.
GOOD!
holy martyr complex much, because YOU lived i breathed easier? not really, thanks for the weed though!
finally some forethought into this embarrassing cutting bullshit, too bad i am still calling child services you emotional pile of shit.
ok i know you are tired of seeing the success dress, just let me show you pictures of when i first discovered it fit again, and don’t worry i can’t wear it again until i have it dry cleaned, there are uh sweat/deodorant stains around the armpit parts, i have NO IDEA who put them there!
remember i tried on that dress at h&m and said it was too small crushed my tits and you guys’s were all NO go get it, what a coincidence this is pretty much like it except better. and it is NOT orange, it is light red/pink.
here is a video of the amazing sunset we met driving back from the catskills, oh and there’s a raymi money shot where i wink at you and here are more pictures of it i am an old lady now because i care about the sky.
merkley???: there are mexicans upstairs now they want your phone number i showed them your blog mexicans love your blog they even renamed their village mexicanada in your honor of course i tell the best jokes i’m really good at word play
me: i wish that was true
i haven’t moved for like the past three hours and i am now desensitized to pictures of food. i am in a rage spiral right now cos flickr keeps sending a stop running scripts thing everytime i drag a photo, it chugs slowly, and then i have to click continue every fucking time YOU GUYS BETTER APPRECIATE MY FOOD FLICKR SET OR I WILL SET YOU ALL ON FIRE! i just tried to fix my painting i fucked up the first nite jamie and deb were here i tried to draw deb‘s boot, incorporate it into my medley painting, except i drew a hoof with a heel instead. painting wasted only works once in a blue moon. next time you come over i will tell you the E! true hollywood story behind the scenes of each one of my paintings, i’ll even do a british accent. i rate that 10 out of 10 for pathetic.
i have to make a second flickr set cos it is taking too long to load, here it is FOODOVERLOAD!
FOODRAYMI flickr set so far, still adding to it, don’t get fat now. i’m not even halfway close to finished adding to this set and there are over 500 pictures!
i love my mom.
hiding from the old people party downstairs.
she ALWAYS has to try on my finds.
oh this is real.
my mom’s blog is now private, email her at tkkerouac@gmail.com if you want an invite to read it.
here are all the places i visitted once i left the condo
shoppers to mail rizabeff‘s postcard i wrote several days ago, there was a lineup, i waited 20 seconds and some people collected behind me, then i left to tan, waited 5 minutes (since all the univeristy kids are back in town, no joke, they all inhabit my tanning salon, and, they are all dudes trying to extend their spring break/cuba tans and while it is annoying to have to wait a few minutes, sometimes 8, their using of the superbed heats the bulbs up for when i have a go and i think it is more effective for this guy) then supertanned for eight minutes. i tried to pay with a 20 i got out of the machine that had a good portion of itself missing, the tanning chick said sorry no, i pretended i didn’t know it was ripped. no biggie, at the video store renting 28 weeks later the girl took it because my eyes were so dazzling. then sashimi time, i got a small hot sake too and packed four pieces of the seared whatever it is for fil, some wasabi’d rice then went to the wine store to get a bottle of red and white for $6.45 each, nero brand?
then i went to try and mail that postcard again, but there was a line, so i walked out the in way and now i am home i just made fil listen to mariah carey’s fantasy with me, he asked why, i said because it is good, i think it can be considered oldschool if you ever had the experience of a grade eight class trip rollerskating night in quebec city, or you were in the now-defunct vice store on queen and it came on and this fabulous tiny gay guy danced all around you, then you’d get it, if not, then you are fil.
he got a new laptop btw, a *gasp* mac. i told him he got a mac because i don’t understand them and he can cheat on me easier. i DO understand them, i had to learn to navigate that bullshit when i worked at the women’s magazine and then at VICE once upon a time. it’s great for magazines, but i’m not a magazine.
this post is brought to you by sake.
i was thinking after my second cup of sake, that yeah i guess i am kind of weird, but at least i am good looking.
