lets just say it almost ended in a street fight after 4.30am new ho king (which we are boycotting because they were wicked rude to us even before one of our party members fought with the entire restaurant, luckily my stupid outfit smoothed it over) and tons of food that i didn’t need but destroyed regardless.
before this we hung out at the gibson showroom for their anti-holiday party thing, it was great and free and unpretentiously schmoozy.
then we visitted the wrong bar that new hot ticket place in pdale and i danced like an elf and was spotted by a chick at the end of the nite who works for a casting agency who took my pictures i hope she wasn’t wearing fifty pairs of beer goggles.
then we went back to gibson and had a jamskies it was goodish. when people are loaded and you have long black hair and sit down at the drums, it is very easy for them to think they are listening to meg white, coast on that for awhile.
update i wussed out i cant deal with looking like this tonite around a model so i changed shirts don’t worry i still look cute as hell and i am wearing my russian hat too so you don’t have to think about me tonite freaking out in my head talking like a manic braggy pile of shit because i am insecure about my middle.
eliz said i can pull this off don’t you dare make fun of my afternoon in the park 1970s mom stomach i am already suicidal enough just tell me i look good.
sigh that dirty mirror.
crafty pockets for when my stomach expands further later on tonite.
i am wolfing down ruffles onion dip and ruffles right now it’s been so long oh sweet chemical cream oh man am i fat. i texted fil during his lunch date with his old buddy that cid wanted him to bring me home something to eat, then he called and asked what and i said oh i dunno onion dip maybe he says are you sure i say yes i’m sure and now the magic is happening and it is snowing daintily outside the window and the xmas lights are on i will regret this all in ten minutes. yeah right i already do.
he also brought home vegan sandwiches?
i’m not giving myself room to breathe right now i can’t wait until i am as famous as david hasselhoff then the world can see me on the floor wasted inhaling chips and dip, help me make this dream come true, for the both of us.
did i mention i have a zit on the end of my nose too and i am sitting here with wet hair in a towel and my back is fire engine red from the tanning salon visit yesterday? i’m basically a monet right now.
nosejob yeah this was barely even funny at the time what do you want from me?
i’m feeling the social’s skinny mirror bigtime.
ok i’ll be right back let me ask my boyfriend if he’s down.
i’ll kiss these instead.
there’s something wrong with your lights they’re all fucked.
i had my polaroid taken with her (and yes grow up that’s a drag queen).
henna has a contest going on right now on her site you should enter, it’s legit and today is the last day to enter.
if you think that looks greasy you should see what my hair looks like right NOW. the social’s heat was cranked too it wasn’t just me. oh and no tickets for your coat you get to search through 60 black coats to find your black coat fun and free!
i have a video of her performance i’ll youtube it later.
a guy from the national post talked to me and wrote down everything i was saying, i kept looking down at his notepad he said something like what i’m reporting i said that’s fine i’m just blown away that people listen to me when i talk, let alone write it down and then i couldn’t turn “it” “off” if you know what i mean, then i ran away. hi adam!
if you’re one of those spinster feminist-like chicks who boasts about their singledom here listen to this, boyfriend = 2 gift bags.
i wear those shoes never, i’m going to sell them, size 8, $20, any takers?
O hai Raymi. I’m Nicole and I’ve never met you before, but I had a dream and you were in it and it’s driving me crazy that I can’t tell anyone about it so I’ll just tell you. I was somewhere (I think Hogwarts or some fucked magical place like that) and all of a sudden I was transported to your apartment which wasn’t really your apartment but somehow I knew it belonged to you and I had no pants on (being transported like that must make your pants fly off) and I was freaking out running around your massive bathroom and cid was on this really high royalty bed (apparently yours) and wouldn’t stop hissing and licking his lips at me and I couldn’t find any pants and I knew you were coming home so I just started to cry. You walked through the door looking cool as ever with this warrior headpiece and I had no pants on and was pacing around your apartment with cid threatening to ambush me as he was putting on his diamond leather boots (?). You started yelling about something to do with your curtains being dirtied by me being almost-half naked and then you walked up to me, yelled “FUCK THAT YOU CREPPIN STOOL” and punched me in the face and I woke up. You said creppin is that a new word? I just thought I’d share it.
one of my many stalkers. last nite i found out that people love me and waited in line to talk to me.
jen is the mistressmind behind shedoesthecity, we go back to when i was 19 and go go dancing at a kid koala show and her then-bf (now married) scooped me and my roommate lucas and asked us to dance in our underwear at the last art system party, so we did and the rest is history.
another stalker scooped me out of the crowd and said a lot of nice things, it’s funny when you meet people you’ve not met before and they know virtually everything about you it’s like so, do you want to talk about my clothes or the book i’m reading or my mom?
you may recognize this little pilgrim. i swear i was better-looking last nite, and in my photos which i’ll of course share in a bit. we got awesome loot bags.
when we got home the building christmas party was goin’ strong, we hid behind the stairwell door listening in on it but were too scared to check it out, i bet everyone shitbags us already why give them more ammo?
i was feeling suicidally uncreative so i gave myself raccoon eyes, yes more than usual.
i need new accessories.
we are going to a launch party tonite.
good thing i favour these $10 black pants over my $200 pair.
fil is such a baby he said he twisted his ribs when he fell pfft!
earlier today.
cid does not understand why fil is not home.
home at last oh what a happy ending for cid.
i have purchased ZERO chrismas presents to date. i’m getting my niece one of these. thanks now i know what the next ten minutes will be spent doing on the www. maybe i’ll get her the raccoon, my mom got her the black lab. too bad little girls don’t for real like unicorns or pegasus’, you don’t actually like those until you are 22 years old with premature bags under your eyes and a drinking problem.
i just went for coffee and a tan, and thank god it’s sunny today i would have been forced to have a huge suck-attack or fight with fil if it were cloudy and rainy again. i think next year we should definitely go away for christmas, or at least i will. fil had pizza while waiting for me to tan, i timed it so after i got my coffee and took out money i could drop in on him and have a bite of his pizza and bonus it was at the best prepared-bite part of the slice too, that made him angry. whatever, i always give mine up for him, i always put myself last. i bought a cherry jolt cola and orange vitamin rip-off water, i am practising my response for when he gets home and looks in the fridge.
phil: what’s this?
raymi: not for you
or
not yours, whichever sounds funnier maybe i should practise out loud.
my feet are sweating i like tanning in the winter everywhere you go after that feels like balmy seaside weather, except in stores with your sweater and jacket on, that’s madness.
i have to go i have to take my clothes off i am now experiencing hot flashes.
ok i’m back.
whenever i went grocery shopping in the spring/summer i would fling the bags across the floor upon flying through the door and peel off my clothes as fast as i could cos i’d be soaked in sweat, while trying to block cid from bolting out the door into the hall. the tiniest amount of physical activity causes me to sweat. i am a 350lb dude trapped in this body. this is why i obsess over dying my hair, it looks greasy all the time even when it isn’t, the roots are really long now and have no volume, i look like equal parts cher, hippie commune, and yoko.
i was THIS close to grabbing a box of dye.
i’m trying to think up more things to complain about so i can avoid sewing felt here is what the next guy is going to look like, somewhat, use your imagination, or don’t, imagination is for kindergarden.
tone that shit down i am not making a bed.
fil is back he said he fell down on the ice oh man i missed it!
now he’s trying to fight with me cos i’m not fawning over his accident enough omg don’t get me started, i hurt myself all the time and fil doesn’t even notice or care, not even if dragons were eating me.
if you were looking for the kindergarden blog you found it.
ps. we watched year of the dog last nite and i cried ten times, it said it was a dark comedy. fil cried too even but i didn’t make a big deal of it. molly shannon is cute as hell and i dress exactly like her so that’s good. then we watched next for some laughs even though it’s not a comedy.
q: how many nic cage movies begin with him in las vegas?
a: ALL OF THEM.
then we watched bully after that, i already saw it fifty times, when i lived with my dad i watched every single movie in the universe on his cable box thing. we have VOD now so get ready for lots of movie posts.
here is my homage to nicolas cage, (it is impossible to let yourself go in the sway of suspension of disbelief regarding his hair and jessica biel’s mutual affection, SURRIOUSLY hollywood do not insult my intelligence like that ever again):
pppppps. if you have been watching cock’d gunns on ifc saturdays at 9.30 i will be on the fifth episode, wearing the success dress in the background probably fat-looking, i’m not sure if the fourth or fifth episode is this saturday so watch both i guess.
a most welcome gift to arrive on depression day haha.
a christmas success!
i had to stuff all the ribbons into the box and hide it cos someone likes to inhale them and then barf them up later.
then i bought lunch what an idiot.
we don’t have light in our kitchen right now cos the tubes burnt-out and we have to wait ’til thursday for them to be in cos someone likes to brag about how patronize the little guy is more important than seeing what you’re doing with a knife in your hands, therefore, garbage meals ’til then.
