ever wake up feeling heartbroken for no reason?
i am sick of winter i need a holiday.
i dreamt it was summer and i was buying a white beach dress by a pool, i woke up and i was none of those things.
watched benjamin button last nite and my face was a river.
see you at the steamwhistle tonite for fil‘s closing party and my fantastic mood. it’s going to be another one of their unsigned bender nites with bands and snacks and liquor etc.
my idea, i invented it, no copying.
oh look a black candle at tattoo “rock” parlour how totally err, expected?
GOTH SPELL ATTACK!
i’m sorry (not sorry) but that was extremely hilarious to me. a white candle likely would have pushed me right over the edge. or a pink one. i think my being a jerk is pretty much guaranteed always.
speaking of jerks, matt left his own dinner party AT HIS PLACE stinking ripped no less to specifically place gum in my hair and then blame me for it. thanks pal.
gill the frenchie was there what is this a fucking reunion?
one part curtis santiago came to hang, this be mikey. i asked what colour is next for the m’awk, he says red, i say platinum?
oh right we’re here for brad‘s show that’s him back there. ps. the new songs are great.
why so deer in headlights this is nothing new you know.
ahh the buddy pose, you should have both tilted your heads and hugged each other, my favourite.
cowboy is partly responsible for the gum in my hair, he jinxed it by having the same length hair as me.
the look on my face, brought to you by ketel one.
samesies?
oh right yeah shh sorry this.
adoring proud supportive sister renita, so cute.
do you guys remember goldfinger? that’s their drummer darrin.
great lighting.
then it happened fucking hell. i leaned over to chat up matt who was drunk swaying in the breeze there, i turn my head and my hair somehow gets inside his open maw and drags out his gum. look how much he is concerned about it too. the cowboy was horrified, long haireds get it.
allison put ice on it and got it all out, had to rip out some hair though.
the consensus was hey at least you have something to blog about tomorrow. what? fuck you. you think i don’t have other shit going on to talk about like old ladies in my building and squirrels, yeah excuse me while i contact the star so they can run this byte as well.
so the end of brad’s set was spent like this, thank you matt!
everyone sitting behind us you’re welcome for the show.
eugh.
check the bags of vodka, i wasn’t supposed to get a bottle cos i was fil’s plus 1 then i told cameron um well this lack of bottle will influence my blog post tomorrow…
love is an understatement.
cam could not resist.
robert plant was on this wall before that eyesore was painted over top.
ok vodka 101 to come shortly though i am not that obligated cos i was just a lowly plus oner. who thinks i’m even influential to begin with? pfft. maybe your mom.
AM Matthew: how’s the hair?
11:35 AM me: ugh
im hung
Matthew: me too
me: you blamed me for it all nite remember
v cavalier of you
Matthew: had to take a cab to work
haha
me: ha
Matthew: dude, you swung your hair and it went it my mouth
if anything you owe me a piece of gum
me: see there you go
instead of im sorry
11:36 AM Matthew: hahaha
I’m sorry it happened to you but I didn’t do anything to make it happen other than chew gum
11:37 AM me: and open your big mouth
Matthew: I will never open my mouth again when I am around you, deal?
me: OMG THANK GOD
Matthew: hahaha
11:38 AM I’m just going to completely ignore you when you’re talking to me just in case it happens again
me: well i will refrain from being a nice friend and chatting you up when you are alone drunk swaying in the breeze
Matthew: perfect!
glad we have that settled
11:39 AM me: like i give a fuck if your brother knows about that polish cabbie
actually lying, DYING to know
Matthew: haha still haven’t told him
I’ll see him on Friday though
me: you owe me a story
yes obvs tan lines, what i mean is no goofy loop lines.
also, there was a total affair taking place behind me to my left. tortilla flats is a good place to slum it secret-like.
just hangin’ with bowie, no bigs.
an urgent call to nowhere is placed.
the secret to tan lines sans back loop lines shall be revealed…
last nite we did a ketel one vodka at the spoke club (ooh fancy) tasting then saw brad’s band at tattoo, in-between some terrible food was had at tortilla flats. brb when my brain gets together and decides to just chill oot. i lost some of my hair to gum last nite compliments of matt, allison helped get it out. muchos stories to tell.
PUMPED!
so this kid when i was 21, this kid drives his little shitbox car to oakville from brampton to take me out for drinks cos i’m bored shitless and broke, he even brought me a box of ferrero rocher cute no? (fil out of spite helped me annihilate them later on that evening. jealousy traps work ladies hear me now, always!) he was 18 i think or 19. anyway, he was way positive and un-jaded, super nice, very naive and not one bitter bone in his body and i was trying to bounce all the shitty things i knew of the world on to him to warn him or some such thing. we were sitting on the curb out front of what used to be the three judges back when i smoked, the town ‘mo was flirting up a storm with him and my two other guy friends who stopped by blah bla blah anyway he recently found me on facebook and wrote me asking if i had remembered him to which i replied:
Raymi Lauren White
January 24 at 12:56pm
i remember hi! how are you, still positive and all that hopefully, jaded?
how old are you now
bye!
Matt
January 24 at 1:35pm
ha its nice that you could remember how naively positive I can be. no I’m not really the same unfortunately, but its really not that unfortunate. I’m not in any mood to be hopeful, I think you nailed it with jaded. I’m 23 now, flunked out of university because it was useless to me, living on the outskirts of the city to save on rent, selling weed to make money cause I lost my job before christmas, basically uninspired towards any forward momentum. stopped blogging forever ago I couldn’t keep it up, my outlets now are music reviews and a graphic zombie trilogy I’m hammering out, my first experience with writing dialogue.
I’m either going to get more involved with Toronto soon or I’m getting the fuck out entirely for a while and trying a new city. let me know if you have any ideas of how to stay or where to go, I feel like you’d be one to know.
seriously hope to run into you sometime, small city and all.
this is actually him:
just kidding, this is him now:
seriously, do you have some advice for the guy? and while you’re at it any for me too? my advice meter is kinda tapped right now. should i eat a chocolate bar or have a chicken sandwich?
awesome. take that scenesters.
fucking STOP IT with the peace/devil horns signs NOW.
hot, ain’tchew?
Leah Tinari paints LastNight’sCobrasnake
not a crazy evening, went for a tan chez A‘s had some brews and watched the wrestler, so good.
stripper movies with onion dip do not mix, happily, cured that craving pretty much immediately as well i totally forgot to bring out the chocolate bars.
something‘s up at our regular loblaws and there’s loads of produce in the crisper i can’t be bothered to worry about. awesome guys. well we feel fine from that red thai curry from a couple nites ago so i’m not sweating over here, just a bit grossed out. i’m also bummed cos our last visit there forgot to grab some bottles of the light eggnog i’ve come to crave in my morning espresso, yeah yeah life is tough. now it’s back to boring skim.
working on my tan lines.
george doppleganger, dhani sigh.
woke up to antarctica.
time to feed the monkey brb.
oh carlton.
ugh another old biddy down in the laundry room gave me some fresh ‘tude just now. once the microwave timer went off down i went to my washers and the same lady from 34 minutes ago says to me I LIKE TO GET HERE RIGHT WHEN THEY GO OFF. implying i had left my clothes rudely for houuurs without a fucking care in the world. so i just said YEAH. then pure silent treatment. in my head i’m like ok if i stuff her in a dryer i bet she’d fit she’s pretty tiny-like and why the fuck are you wearing a bonnet seriously bo-peep is in now i missed that memo. so i’m lugging my shit to the other side of the room over to the dryers, i used two washers today cos i had to do the onesies which is basically like washing an orangutan or whatever. so then biddy puts it together i’m pretty miffed at her scoldy schoolteacher passive aggressive reprimand (fuckin’ hate that eh? teachers indirectly pointing out your flaws with “I” statements) and switches her tone to the nice meter and asks me all in awe of how much clothing i am stuffing into the dryer like that and does it reeeally dry? shut up phony cunt i know what you’re doing. like how you get trapped in a public bathroom with a scary chick and a bunch of pointless verbal diarrhea compliments come out and you are like why did i just turn into a different person there oh right that surly chick gave me the heeby jeebies.
in summation, no one was waiting in line behind us for the washing machines, there was still an extra one, so do yourself a favour next time DON’T CORRECT ME COS I WILL PUT YOU IN YOUR OCTOGENARIAN PLACE AND YOU WILL POSSIBLY HAVE A CORONARY ON THE SPOT.
also, i whipped in and out of there at lightning speed while she was still getting her bedsheets into a dryer. so you like to get there on time cos a fucking snail can spin cycles around you?
i told her yeah all these clothes will dry cos i put ‘em in for 90 minutes then come down in an hour to take out things i don’t want to shrink.
don’t impart your laundry-wizardry then ask the dumbest question ever.
i should keep a chart of all this harassment then send out a newsletter and threaten an ageist lawsuit, why the fuck not these guys live for building drama and complaining, gets them going good.
in the time it took my clothes to wash i brought down three loads of recycling, unloaded the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen and made myself look less like a slob and still STILL i beat her with fifteen minutes to spare to dick around on the internet.
look it’s me as a floating muppet now why would anyone want to be mean to that?
Elizabeth: I would lose it on those old ladies in the laundry room
Id make N move
or buy me a washer and drier
me: you love laundry posts
Elizabeth: yeah
I cant relate
since Im the one who does the laundry in my house
me: like what is the point of opening your mouth to a stranger
if you’re going to say something shitty
some fucking balls granny
Elizabeth: yeah
exactly
I like to do things this way = YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG AND I AM PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE
me: and immediately busts herself with the guilty back-peddling
seriously it’s the only way i know it here it’s fucking laughable at this point
Elizabeth: yeah for sure
*update: i just went to collect my dried goods and a chick roughly my age was there also and was sensible enough to ignore me and i followed suit. why don’t the cronies get it?
