a take on the classic i fuck what i kill i kill what i fuck photo. that’s me and casie. duh. i am game for this tonite but she said we should look hot so, hot it is. maybe drawing a picture of it is good enough won’t have to put into practice. it would be nice to have a red carpet photo with those shirts. i get the mean evil one because that’s my role. i do not plan to get gunned tonight i’m too sick for it and i am so sore from training today. ok my brain is fried time for a bath.
please vote for me third poll down/ don’t know if i am actually winning as there are other polls within the same category for people’s choice i haven’t sleuthed out the competition yet.
this pervert skippy guy made a funny post about me and is spreading the love and i didn’t even ask.
these are my mother’s pictures from thursday night. i feel behind and overwhelmed with all the material i am sitting on, my ocd brain does not like it. i’m like an assembly line. wow look out bill shakespeare this post is going to be a doozy i can see it now. late nite last nite. i knew it, couldn’t be avoided, also i am sick so that’s a bonus. i wonder if it’s the same thing my dad had?
mom and i squirreled ourselves away in the corner like shy little mean girls. we were photographed upon arriving and paying at the door. yes, i paid for something. actually mom paid for me (for once, she’s really stingy) cos of my $20 rush hour traffic cab ride from pdale to union to meet her.
i didn’t do my hair or clean myself up much for full on princess assault cos i felt like hell and couldn’t be arsed so i dressed fancier to compensate. the party wasn’t bad, more women to men ratio i think it will be a successful launch for the next party now that the first one is out of the way. typically version 1.0 anything is generally a write off. that’s what i’m told for if you ever do stand up comedy, your first set you will tank, bomb, whatever. doesn’t really help one get over nerves or motivate you out of fear to give it a try.
my mom was getting on my nerves because we were torn between the royal york or the keg. i am seriously man hunting and i figured if no hipsters are going to approach me in my queen west bubble it’s time to extend the territory. one of my pieces of fish spotted me at jack astor’s, he facebooked me yesterday, did i just see you? oh yeah i guess you did. no matter man financial district, thursday nite, teeming with blokes don’t bring sand to a desert.
there was a wallet at the singles party at joe bidali’s and a stick of cocoa butter. lots of prizes too so i nicked it. that’s my new amex card haha keith on fb went hmmmm seems a bit bendy.
future kills. casie said all the girls bagged dudes at the movember gala same night as this well, so did i. play on playa. ok no i didn’t bag anyone i went home with my mom but yeah, got some contacts is all aka future kills.
this is all just walking to the royal york man every dude was wasted and verbal and with my mom ready and willing to exploit with her point and shoot you get to see it all. he was trying really hard to get me to go with him in his limo. dude ok sure? yeah i am going to just drop everything and have a limo ride. maybe if you gave me a thousand dollars and didn’t touch me but can you blame him, i’m like alpha bait.
what an idiot though eh. he was trying to get my number and i was overwhelmed by the pack of men and just kept repeating i don’t have a card (i ran out from passing them out all night long hahhaa). you have a babe under your arm and you say to her you’re going to the ballet to stare at women that you aren’t allowed to touch and you have to pay for it too. good move danny ocean. smooth.
library bar. mom is wearing my headband. she’s jealous that my hair photographs blonder. i’m holding the tray. i stole one from jack astor’s and used it as an umbrella/hat from the rain. how perfect is it that we’re sitting on a cougar printed couch?
now here is why my head feels like a smashed orange right now. i am basically sound academy’s hired groupie i love vip. luh uh ove it. i’m going to start interviewing bands i’ll be the next nardwuar except i’ll be the next raymi. i think the music scene will really love me interviewing their heroes i know nothing about. so like hi you’re wolf parade um, what do you do? is that a guitar? what kind of shoes are you wearing? do you think my nose is too big? hahaha.
i dressed like the emerald city gatekeeper. a guy grabbed my head/hat at the end of the show and was mesmerized i was all, WHAT!?!? then i realized i was wearing the magic hat. there is no way i am getting rid of this i am an idiot for even considering it. it’s a good sound barrier too.
now i want to discuss an issue that i know some of the foodie world is in a bit of a tizzy over. i am going to address the following using bullet points because i want to come across as a professional here and i want you to think i am very important and i do not want to have to repeat myself on these issues again. picture lucy liu in kill bill in the board room actually i will help you here is a visual.
actually, scrap the bullet points allow me to just run on sentence this school yard politics for everyone else who doesn’t care about the food world set/crowd/scene. there has been a reaction to me having the audacity to eat and be paid for it and to consider myself a foodie or reviewer by jealous foodie geeks. i’m a lifestyle blogger. before i decided to review the dining experience of restaurants in the city, which i am completely within my rights to do, it’s a free country and no one is stopping you to build a niche and make money from what YOU are doing, anyway, i don’t see what the big deal is. yes it is an advertisement. yes it is blog content. yes i love to eat and photograph and share my life. why doesn’t this make sense to people? why are you crying foul here? i have a heavily-trafficked toronto-centric blog and if you go in my archives you can see years of foodie photos all over the city. i go out a lot i eat out a lot, i have gained real life culinary experience from all of this, do i claim to be the best or know everything about food? absolutely not. do i care? no. does it matter? no it doesn’t because dining is only a percentage of the big raymi picture. some restaurants want in on this, it’s affordable advertising, they are already established and thriving businesses and why not have raymi over, it’s fun, lets impress the girl, of course my review will be biased but that isn’t totally fair as the food IS excellent. why would they invite me and then unimpress me? if i don’t like something i am honest and will say so. if i don’t know what a retarded mushroom is then i will say so. i take notes. how is this NOT a review? some bitch on twitter said i am a soul-selling whore “@coreymintz Yup. It does. It is. I am. But at least I’m not a soul-selling whore.” to corey mintz and that i make her want to go all Columbine on someone’s ass. “That girl makes me want to go all Columbine on someone’s ass. @coreymintz Any resto that pays her fee or offers freebies should be ashamed.” wow. and you are the mastermind behind tasteTO? how professional of you. oh wait looking at your site it says you are putting tasteTO on hiatus for the foreseeable future. extra professional! i don’t care what personal family matters you have (i have my own humongous family bs going on right now too but i still carry on) you can’t keep your shit together enough to keep your snoozefest fat cow blog going yet are able to tweet slag some other girl who is able to keep her website going? why should people be ashamed to work with me? look at me. i keep my shit tight, i am an achiever, my food posts are epic, professional, thorough, and a pleasure to see and read. i have been recommending restaurants, bars, clubs, stores, bands to people for years, i am an expert on lifestyle and culture just like everybody else except I’M FUCKING COOLER THAN YOU. i do a lot of good for this city whether you agree with me or not. it MATTERS what i say about a restaurant even if i don’t link to their website, just saying the word is enough i come up first in google when you will google their name. fact. i have access to elite, to dirtbag hip kids, all of that, and i earned it and i prove it on a day to day basis. i am not a fucking whore you ignorant goat. i know about hip places before they even exist. do you? no. you are a bandwagon foodie jumper and your website failed so you can go get fucked for all i care and so can your stupid nerdy friend karen. i am a dream to conversate with. women always feel like they need to aggressively tell me what they think about me once they are won over by my charms. last nite for instance i made this hot cool chick from newfoundland absolutely melt. if i am so terrible how come i am a people magnet, hey? i stand out, you stick in. you look like a stick in the mud, boring, and typical. where is the wow factor? i don’t see it.
i wasn’t even going to address any of this because i am annoyed by the constant barrage of bitchy that comes my way. can we go back to the good old days when you meet a person in real life and then you get to decide if they are a good person or not? you idiots don’t know me and you’re going through my reel of cutesy playing the game photos and base judging me. that’s so lazy. i’m sure you have it together and you’re better citizens than i am because you’re chasing the yuppie dream, congratulations you have won at the game of life let me email you an award.
in summation, i apologize for nothing. i bust my balls and i work very hard, why do you have to give me shit about it all the time? thank you for pissing me off and trying to create drama because you have nothing better to do with your vanilla lives.
were YOU in the toronto star? do you know how many times i have been written about in various news publications over the past month? do you think that happens from not working hard? i am my own PR girl. i have an idea and a vision and i MAKE it happen. i am sitting on several future projects presently so this is futile even addressing and i am only doing so cos i know it’s going to only happen again. i’m sorry for you that you woke up one day and realized you had some competition maybe instead of fighting the war that’s already lost and name calling you should focus on yourself instead.
I’ve been eating out a lot of late in support of trying out all the restaurants that cheese boutique were hosting over 8 weeks. This blossomed as a concept with some other restaurants in Toronto that were not apart of that event…that’s called join the bandwagon.
I was asked to do the event run and gladly accepted because CB-PR saw the potential for me to tell you all about their event because they were confident that everyone eats everyday but you probably may have wondered what it’s like to go to some of these places.
Gourmet isn’t cheap and it does make people gun shy about trying new things because nobody wants a bad evening out.
You get to experience the restaurants with me. Everyone wins, you get to know about CB, which if you haven’t been that’s just insane really, especially now if you’re looking for something special for the holidays for your family event meal.
Anyway, I get to know about restaurants and tell MY audience why they are great. I’m not out here telling other publications to stop doing what they’re doing because the Raymi show is here…I’m just living my life. I get to eat another day and keep this blog functional because it doesn’t take 5 min to write a post.
ps. i am 150,000 sites ahead in rank than Taste To….that’s thousands in the
multiples better that TasteTo wishes they had..perhaps their site would
still be functional if they’d just been nice and asked me to do some reviews
for them. hmmmm. something to consider.
I have this need/want to write to you every day but I keep shouting at myself (literally, like a crazy person) to stop procrastinating and get my own shit done first (I work from home too). Today I got one thing done and (it took less than 10min but regardless) I’m rewarding myself with a cigarrette and with an actual task to write to you. I am calmly telling myself to keep it short.
I really just want to congratulate you on your 10 years. (!!!!!!) I keep quiet but you truly are part of my daily life, I would probably go mental if you were to stop doing what you’re doing. I know there are many of me’s. So just keep strong, high five!!
I still have this gift for you, I never did stop by the Central while you were there because I’m a weiner… I don’t want to keep saying the gift the gift the gift like it’s something special, it’s honestly worth like 5 bucks, but I still want to get it to you. Do you give your address out to random people? How does the gifting thing work?
I had drinks with Brain Hetherman not too long ago, I hadn’t seen him since my teenage years so it was kind of bizarre. I ended up getting pretty wasted. At one point we were talking about Holly, and because I’m a creep and I know you all know each other, I mentioned your name and how you and Holly hang, and how I think that’s badass. And he was all, ‘how the fuck does Holly know Raymi? how the fuck do YOU know Raymi??’ There was some drunken laughter and I explained that I don’t really know ANY of you. Then he was all omg we should all go drinking together sometime, so I fantasized about that for a little while.
Anyhyoo, breaking my own rules. THANK YOU RAYMI! Write to you again next year!
Lots of love,
Tomo
++++
check it. PLEASE READ: Alleged Toronto Nightclub Charity Scam.
my first personal training session was really fun. i thought it would have been longer and was intimidated by that possibility but nope, james is a fitness guru and condensed it.
i look like some advertisement for budweiser. the hat fully sets it off. it’s JD. i have a ton of them from wakestock. if you visit adventurehouse you leave with one.
side squats are fun, you start off all braggarty cocky then you turn into james’ nonna lumbering like a pathetic wimp. i am severely competitive so every exercise i did and came back to no matter how hard it was to tackle again i pushed myself. i am competing with my colleague who is also being abused by TMR (by joseph) and after every move i ask if i am doing better than him. I AM.
i’m actually rocking quite the hangover here, more so lack of sleep. james ripped me for putting on make up. uhh dude, do you want me to look like gargamel from the smurfs in these fitness pictures i didn’t know you wanted a seahag for a spokesmodel hahaha.
so hard. i also have a carpal tunnel sore spot on my left wrist (all for you blog) so it hurts to do push ups. james let me do some girl ones. at this point in my head i thought he might let me not do any but nope, forced me. all you need in life is a push.
this part is scary. then fun. then scary again. we had a minor issue in counting 12 1 1 2. two seconds resistance hold for one second then two seconds extending.
by now i am mangled, my legs are totally heavy so the side squats are no longer fun at all other than james calling me a grandma. f&#&*&^! i’ll show you. abuse is a motivator.
the plank. it’s hard. especially when the word splash pants gets whispered into your ear and james does tough talk. he swore at me! i found it hysterical. so i was rewarded with extra sets of planks. lesson learned.
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what these chicks say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what these chicks say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tight
All eyes on me I took the night.
met up with my mum at union to go to a single’s party for all the shout out nerds who commute on the go train. i was recognized twice. so awkward. also i had a panic attack in the cab on the way there. haven’t had one in awhile. my insomnia is to blame.
last nite was quite the nite. thursdays in the financial district are considered “corporate night” and holy moly, you alpha men are total deviants and the reason why women are so controlling and neurotic mistrusting banshee messes.
naturally, mom and i photographed the entire experience. she dragged me back to the burbs by cab so now i have to go back to the city and prepare myself for the next 72 hours. whirlwind week.
look i made my own weird reece peanut butter “cup” using pumpkin butter chocolate chips on shasha spelt bread (melodie is obsessed with this bread so it must be good) and it was actually delicious i scarfed it down fast. was starving. go hippie food yeah.
i’ve lost a pound. i still reject what the scale at TMR says. at my dad’s and at home i am lighter. i told james he should probably get a new scale cos his is garbage. i asked him why all italians are into splash pants so much. i am starting to break him down with my comedy i was doing some side squats once my body was getting sore and heavy and he said i looked like his nonna and i said yeah she WISHES.
skinnier today than i was yesterday and these shots are so not indicative (big word me!) of how leaned out i now finally am. james said i can only weigh myself once a week. i said no deal, once every other day, he said no deal so i said ok fine only on skinny days then and he said that’s fine. tricked him though because what if every day is a skinny day? i weigh myself in the morning and at night.
thank you fashion magazines and cosmopolitan and YM. yeah actually YM is to blame for my weight obsession thank god that magazine tanked if they still existed i would write them an essay long diss letter. if my niece ever gets body issues i am going to pulverize whoever’s responsible. probably me. ugh.
what talent? don’t make me laugh donnie. i have more talent in a fingernail clipping than the other guy.
michael says: Bovine was like cool 6 yeras ago only losers go there now
that’s why you show up wasted at the end of the night following the “real shit” you did thanks michael for the cool insight please tell me more about places in toronto because i don’t know anything also maybe if you knew people as in establishment owners and got vip treatment you’d enjoy things more and wouldn’t notice what was or wasn’t passe, or care. you know what’s cool? nothing. as long as you’re having fun that’s all that matters no matter if yer in a dumpster dive or diner. love raymi.
anonymous says: Been following your blog for a while. Really don’t comprehend how you are sustaining yourself by doing this blog. Yes you might be popular at this time, but do you just keep posting naked pictures of yourself to get hits. You definetly don’t post anything of value, nothing that’s breaking any trends. Have you ever considered getting yourelf a legit job, what happen’s when people don’t find you as attractive or even memorable?
dear anonymous why are you asking of me such asinine ignorant questions? am i to anticipate the future for you? what of the thousands and thousands of corporate people who lose their jobs and livelihoods daily who spend years training for their placements, ladder climbing, and then all of a sudden the economy tanks and bloop, axed? why do i constantly have to prove and explain myself to strangers who snarkily, flippantly pose insulting, rude, and invasive questions of me? does it not look like i am thriving here for god sake? what do i care if i fail in a year, does it look like i am going to let that happen? am i going to run out of “being interesting”? why not ask this of newspaper (print world is dying) columnists? why do people ask me the what ifs? i’m like madonna, whatever’s hot tomorrow that you don’t know about yet, i’m already on to it and thinking of the next and the next. i’m good, we’re all good over here at raymi com. i’m a pioneer, an early adopter YOU ARE the one who is lost, not me. you worry about you. THIS, IS, a real job. traditional media was out years ago. the future is this, the present, is this. i don’t know what cave you’re getting wireless from but please bang a couple rocks together and get a fire going before you write an inch of stupidity over here again. may be popular at this time? been reading my blog for a while? how long is a awhile exactly and are you super super old or just really feeble? cult followings never die. find a need and fill it. you don’t need to have a “legit” job to know business. fuck man i am sick of this.
ahh yer from burlington. ‘NOUGH SAID.
hilarious says: “I’m like Madonna”
That’s the funniest thing I’ve read here,ever.
I get that you mean that you’re reinventing yourself every year, but you saying you’re like madonna for that, is like me saying I’m like Donald Trump just because I have a real estate license.
pretty sure i clearly stated why i am “like” madonna – it’s called trend forecasting and being ahead of the pack you fucking idiot. also, YOU are the one who mentioned reinvention, i never did and don’t feel that i do, but thank you for the unintentional compliment.
someone asked how i deal with “the haters” or “the hate” some days i dunno, i compartmentalize it and separate myself while others just totally fascinated by it. casie gets no hate. none. that’s completely foreign to me imagine if i woke up one day and all the hate was gone that would be fanfuckingtastic i’d do a cartwheel in front of the rummies up the street and kiss them (i’ve kissed a homeless dude before. he’s dead now. true story)(you know that old regular at the horseshoe with the beard? the next day i got lockjaw hahah) but anyway, the hatred for me. how do i undo that? i dunno. what is so fucking hateable about me? don’t answer that. people think when i am talking about myself, achievements, whatever, that i am directly talking to them and comparing our lives when really what i am doing over here has nothing to do with them yet apparently it does? i also do not understand the theory that you are doing it right if you have lots of people hating you or are a girl that other women just naturally hate. i want to be liked i’m a people pleaser if i can tell someone is hating me in a room of 100 i will be obsessed with making that idiot (who probably has all kinds of horrible opinions, politics, doesn’t recycle etc) like me. in summation, i have mental problems.
and remember, you always have a friend in raymi. is that how they say it? you have a friend in me? so weird, doesn’t make sense and it catches on. i’m about to watch my work out videos now. i am so sore. i don’t know how i’m going to man hunt tonite with my mom if i can’t even move ugh. my abs are killing it feels like ulcers but it’s not thank god.
third poll down thank you and holy timewarp they interviewed me a looooong time ago too. why i didn’t get an alert for this contest is a bit suspect. meh.
I am still as compulsive if not more so than I was when I first began blogging. I guess I’m pretty competitive, too, so there’s that. I’m not the only blogger anymore, so I have to keep my wits about me. In actuality though, I know what miniscule talent I have is unique unto itself, so I don’t feel very threatened.
here i am signing in to The Motion Room with one of those visa things. by the time you get home there’s an email waiting for you asking about your session it’s really sweet. customer relations is important to me.
this is my hey it’s just us guys casual sitting position. total tom boy. i’m explaining my eating routine, drinking routine, everything. james gives a good mind ^%#$@ everything you say gets used against you when you’re training which makes me laugh. i said something like my body responds quickly to very little exercise and then later on as i was practically crying james threw it in my face. abuse motivates me. i also have to start a food journal, oh wait i have on already it’s called THIS BLOG.
i want to die right now some of these are so unattractive. my photographer is trying to torture me i must have pissed him off at some point.
Hi Raymi,
This recent post of yours Appreciate the hater’s fate caught my eyes.. fitness training = good on ya! Getting myself a trainer is one of the best things I’ve done for myself. I send many wishes of success your way!
Also, on the subject of discussing implants.. foot the bill… et. al, (and someone has probably already mentioned this) have you heard of: www.myfreeimplants.com
later on while doing lunges on that weird ball james was complimenting my technique and balance, leg form, i then sprang it on him that i took jazz for many years. cockily. i wonder how he will use that against me next time hahaha. he said dance training is the best for work out.
this was awkward. good thing i wore underwear. a comedian said once, you can be naked in front of your wife, you can be naked in front of your doctor but, being naked in front of both of them at the same time? blush city.
this cartwheel made me see stars for a minute. i didn’t eat before because i am stubborn AND i secretly had some americano. that’s right james. i needed it i had the worst sleep the night before. my mind is a battlefield.
i am going to have to bring a different water brand tomorrow even though i am so the type of consumer that succumbs to fancy water marketing it’s just that every time james said smart water i thought he was about to call me smart mouth and then i’d go into a giggle frenzy. anyway, jennifer aniston is a liar, the water didn’t make me any more smart but good on her for the campaign it gave all of toronto the opportunity to draw mustaches neighbourhoods, bus shelters, the entire city over.
ten minutes and he’s on you the whole time. there is no way i could or would do this on my own. i tried to cheat and press the level down nearing the end. not to be cute or anything it’s just, that hard.
when you finally get off that thing your legs feel like they’re a thousand pounds. so heavy, you can barely move, the gravitational pull is so strong you want to become one with the floor.
i was able to touch passed my toes. i slammed that thing so hard to get it to slide as far back as possible. you get to do it more than once thankfully. haha look at my shoes i am a teenager.
this looks like i didn’t even get it passed my toes at all so maybe i didn’t afterall. ugh. well that’s what happens when 60% of you is legs. hmmph. all shrimps are flexible.
that’s a pretty elaborate box just to measure how inflexible people are what is this 1900? can’t they make something more efficient that takes up less space? what else does this do, opens up as a storage locker? are shoes and socks and a whistle contained within? i am so getting it tomorrow i know it i’m scared. i accidentally typed sacred. i am that too.
ugly walking test. i didn’t know why i was doing this but now i know why and my feelings are hurt now. just kidding, i don’t get hurt feelings i pay someone to get hurt feelings for me DUUUUUUUh.
side leg lunge lift things i dunno, it’s hard though. i am good at it because as previously stated, dance training. you might be shit at this. i challenge thee.
we did it coach. oh and by the way, after the bike assault you wouldn’t break into this part of the body analysis straight away but because i am a hyper spazz perfectionist go getter i did it all in one day. if you haven’t worked out in a long time you would likely do this part the next day and you’d tell james where you were sore (all over) and he’d design you a specified test/routine (so much exercisey terminology to learn). my REAL test/training first go-round begins tomorrow. this is still totally a work out though i don’t care what they claim.
this is neat. my back is so arched cos i am so awful at push ups and my left hand has a carpal tunnel injury so it’s a bit strained. i will get better at these.
giggled a lot during crunches cos of how goofy i looked and my pigtails pony tails’ head reflection egyptian arms also if james let go of my feet i’d flop back into the mat super hard loud and fast comedy gold.
i’m so glad i get to be personally trained three times a week. so far, all thumb’s up guys. NYE is just around the corner and you know what that means, time to join a gym or something for your resolutions to get in shape.
i know this move. it’s really hard after the whole assault. maybe next time i’ll start off with crunches? guess it doesn’t matter, if it’s hard to do that means they’ve already been worked out enough.
passing it back and forth from legs to hands ten times ughhhhhhh i was at 9 and let it just roll away and said there’s a draft in here hmmm it just got away from me like that. cameraman was laughing his ass off all morning you’re welcome.
you can vote more than once here with multiple answers (but you only get to actually vote the once), i know the answer to this question is complex. like me.
there’s that million (canadian) dollar smile. and dimple. i am a cabbage patch kid. we were born the same year btw. also so was the chicken mcnugget and billie jean was the number one song.
pig tails stayed with me for the day in fact my hair is still pig tailed right now, totally totally messily though like i slept in a cave in the dark ages. and by pig tails i mean pony tails DON’T CORRECT ME. EVER.
dear everyone, thank you for joining me on my gettin’ toned quest. you should try it with me. we’re not spring chickens forever you know. if you join TMR we can work out together it will be funnnnnnn.
awww thanks shulgan “I really do think she’s an under-recognized national treasure. She recently celebrated her 10-year anniversary, and her achievement over this last decade is ridiculous. No one comes close to her productivity, nor does anyone match the consistency of her excellence.”
(actual ten year mark is THIS SUNDAY)(and my dad’s birthday).
