Wrestling with bloggy desires and juggling other shit I know just to bite the bullet and blog, it doesn’t feel right not to especially when I’m just drinking diet redbull and picking my belly button anyway, biding my time til Carrie comes over to paint me. She has to come by earlier leaving a margin of time for the paint to dry but I am so antsy and restless I pushed it back to half past 4, I think 3 hours is enough for paint to dry. We shall see so in the mean time I give you this post.
Meet my new friends. Orange guy teacher got for me as a surprise. Surprise I’m getting smokes! I lusted after them over the weekend after brunch with Bechnique. Do I look too cray? Except the outfit I was wearing was not as formal, it was more like hangover skid lurching out from behind the sunglasses spindle with my bangs sticking up stupidly. I put them back and thought about it. Said I would. They totally go with my blond hair but who knows the future of that and I can only imagine myself with black hair like a sucky pants defeatist and I know that orange and black equals halloween. Holy crap shut up downerface! Just enjoy your sunglasses jeez why don’t you.
I want to start wearing glasses so I can hide my face, seriously, people who wear glasses are cheating or they get an advantage with a lens (even if it is clear it still helps) hiding some of the seasoning on their faces. Notice how I said people and not just women? Dudes you be agin’ too guy.
As long as I can stay forever young in the face and in the head everything will run smoothly. I am pretty close to sleeping in a garbage bag lined with body lotion and other weird shit Madonna allegedly detoxes in every night wrapped in bandages and seaweed, compost, whatever. Can you tell birthday month is scrambling my brains?
Ha can you imagine me walking in to your local hipster diner and sitting down to order? I should have a hidden camera reality show where I do stunts like that, it will save me the effort of having to talk to people or come up with any sort of script and then one segment will be me and my mom and let the magic just write itself in all our cray shenans with Lois and then the show ends with me knocking on Bechnique’s door and then me her and Jules do a Yay Cray salute and burn something, burn a man on the dance floor I dunno but it better happen soon before “I am too old for this shit” takes over my self esteem permanently.
I wore that to be stretched out in yesterday, Kash was wearing basically the same thing so the pictures should come out nicely, all arms and legs in a 2 girls 1 pretzel of black spandex jajaja.
I drew a blank all day long on what goddamn song to choose and it wasn’t until last night could I select one, I am keeping it a surprise but I’ll give you a hint I’ve danced to it before and made a video of it within the last 2 months. There‘s my youtube channel if you’re bored take a guess.
I look like Easter in this. I like Easter so I am fine with that. Jesus rises from the dead, I get chocolate, it’s spring, everybody wins.
These pictures make me want to bust ass some more and get some more rehearsing in obvi. so I’ma wrap it up now.
I have to sew one of my gloves and perfect this wig, and my face, and try not to sweat all over myself too much in the process. Wish me luck.
NARWHAL GALLERY RECEPTION STARTS AT 7 AND GOES TIL 10.
ART/BURLESQUE: Japanese pop culture artist Junko Mizuno‘s second exhibition in Canada, Venus Cake: Junko Mizuno’s Food Obsession, opens this evening at Narwhal Projects, with the artist in attendance (Narwhal Art Projects, 680 Queen Street West, 7 p.m.–10 p.m., FREE). After the reception, the party will move down the street for a rock ‘n’ roll and burlesque afterparty, performed by Underground Peepshow and hosted by celebrity blogger Raymi the Minx. Bovine Sex Club (542 Queen Street West), 10 p.m., $10/$5 with costume or Junko Mizuno button.
I had a nice stretch this morning with Kash, very relaxing. You’ll see that tomorrow, lots of up close and personal pictures with my stupid raymi reparte inter-spliced, it got me nice and limber for dancing the night away and rehearsing today.
I looked down at my outfit today in the market and was like, do I need to grow up? (NOOOO! I screamed in my head)(and you should be screaming that too Little Raymis) If I have to grow up that is like PeeWee Herman dying. So as long as I can do my best to hide the old I feel like I can dress as dopey as I like.
Or like, if I am such a trainwreck then what would Courtney Love do? Alright do less than that and we are good.
These have a very slight magnification to them which is problematic because well, headaches and even plain glass alone can make you squint a little. I went to bed frowning the other night it seems and I had a line in my forehead all day yesterday I wanted to die.
Well I’ve settled on my song, my body painter comes over tomorrow and we get this show a rolling. Come get primed with us at Narwhal, lots of crazy costumes and fanfare mingling and boozing then we head over to the Bovine for the burlesque show and see all the paintings you just saw at the gallery space come to life in striptease. I am the third performance. If you are hungry I can spray whip cream in your mouth if you stand up front.
I should go get a tan today. Can I wear this bikini? I still need a gauzy thing for over it and something yellow for the hair. And gloves. And whip cream. I don’t have to replicate it exact but, it helps me with the dance more when I have it all on and together so this evening will be all about doing that. I am pumped for tomorrow, I’ll be hanging out at Narwhal first in costume so come to the art show too if you want (duh come!) and get drunk with me so that I can get in to whip cream girl head space mode and come to life on stage. I will probably do ridic things with whip cream “in character” and I am going on second or fourth at the after party burlesque performance over at The Bovine. Fun night indeedly!
Blythe sure whores herself around.
I dreamt about myself in this dress all night long.
Nope not hair bumpits just hair crown breakage magic, I gather it and pin it at the back.
Power lunch. I’ve got an important meeting with some chicken wings. We also shared a burger.
It’s so nice up there. We need to eat out less and cook more plus it’s bbq season, no more delivery either.
There’s a phony smile! Well it’s better than the other one I’m not posting, I mean I look good but a little too Robocop. Luckily my shoulder pads were able to fit through the door.
Big-ups to my triple chin close-up, thank yew Matt the minx for that (ps we have to shoot next week because this week I have broken out in to pizza face and I don’t think you have photoshop skills that are that advanced) and now I can’t wait to see the cinnamon challenge. Have you guys heard of that? You eat a spoonful of cinnamon and then you feel like the world is closing in on your throat and you either swallow or blow cinnamon everywhere. Mine looked like spew coming out of my mouth, oh nice! Thanks Sean for showing the super fans “how it is done” with me, til next time! (This is the night that definitely got me sick it was so cold and windy!)
And in my continuing quest of becoming asian we went to Pacific mall today! First time! I was not feeling very shoppy though so it was almost a wasted effort, well not so I did get a dress and specs I’ve been after. But I didn’t get my regular gobs of crystals and kawaii type chotchkis cos I wasn’t feeling spendy plus I was looking for my burlesque outfit which I couldn’t find in that maze of shiny foreign merchandise. We browsed and ambled and then left.
This look is very big in Japan, Asia, whatever. The flowers and the lace and the doll/90’s petite dressy look thing, I think the designer who started it is called Liz Lisa. HAHA this is a Liz Lisa dress, duhoye. This dress is very Xiaxue and I just realized with my pink wig combined with this dress, over the top so her. I dig her style anyway. The shop girl yelled out to me when I put this on oh my god you’re so skinny, she was shocked it fit so well. All the dresses there I am an amazon in, she said that in the backs of dresses from Hong Kong they are made smaller than from Korea because I put one teeny one on in particular and I looked like a giant exploding out of it thank god it didn’t explode. She said I was so skinny again when I put my shirt back on so I said oh haha thank you? She meant it in a funny way like she was proud that I came in her store, it made me feel special. I gave her my card and said I was a fashion blogger (why did I say that?? haha) but I’ll do her dress proud and she gave me a good deal. I almost got these cute underwears with bears on them elsewhere 5 for $12 but we couldn’t find the place again and we were feeling nappy and wanted to go.
It was overwhelming trying to decide which flower dress to buy, every store has similar dresses all spread out from stall to stall for halls and halls and all different prices on the stickers, reduced/clearances blabbity blah, it was very bartery and some are expensive we were so suckered in. I’ll post more pics later tomorrow. We had lunch at Wills landing and I basically got to see Teacher’s commute to work daily. Tomorrow, more shopping and rehearsing. I must find a yellow two piece and a yellow kerchief for my hair. Try finding that in a sea of this.
I’m not worried, do I sound worried. Not worried. Okay maybe a little bit. TV will fix that.
I do not want to blog today. And we got tings to do but I think he is taking empties back so I have a few spare moments more.
That’s my game face.
Whatagwan bredren.
Ahh a piece of glass. I gave my desserts to the chicks, no dudes, all food.
Random pretty shots from Casa Loma, the first time I ever graced these halls was for a film fest party and what a bender that was, I think Gill got us in. I was dressed like a penis as usual, you can catch a tiny thumbnail glimpse here haha jokes I am funny. Anyway.
This would be awesome for my house. Watching period piece films are such a tease.
Ghostly. Spooky.
Bye friends. We miss you.
Ok you can have ONE of my mayonaisses. Fifteen cents each lol. I don’t know why that is funny. It just is.
ok chill out Diane Arbus.
This was Teacher’s. Why would you order a burger from Swiss Chalet, it’s obnoxious. I can’t blog my quarter chicken dark because I was using one of my journals as a barrier from the dog and the page I flipped it to has something embarrassing and dirty written on it so newp sorry come again.
Yesterday was all about Stella.
And how much I now hate my hair. Thanks to the wind and the Rod Stewart. I am just going to keep growing the roots until I can’t take it anymore.
Probably one of the more retarded videos I’ve made. This song is awesome and if you’ve seen the video you’ll “get it”. You’ll also note that we have moved a painting, looks good there. Good and cray.
And here is a retro raymi video of me dancing to buttons THREE YEARS AGO. Feels like longer.
Woah. Chill out H&M.
With makeup on I will look a lot better. Going to buy my outfit today. Stoked. This is just a regular casual outfit haha.
