i have to go buy a new stud-thing for my face /mouth piercing. last nite i was eating some calabrese salami and (get ready for a cock joke) my stud got wedged in my teeth and sucked into my mouth and the ball almost went through the hole thus stretching the hole out so if i don’t want to have a big fucking hole in my face to suffice a shower curtain ring i have to get a new stud with a bigger ball on the end.

that’s what i get for eating SPICY MEAT named after a man’s genitals.

ps. people who have those big discs in their earlobes as accessories uh excuse me YOU ARE NOT PART OF A TRIBE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE AND YOU ARE ALSO WHITE.

you’re welcome.

raymi, yr writing has been really amazing…the rhythm is back but now the details are crisp–the observations and scrutinizations are finely honed. fucking hell when u finish a post about abortion with the line ” i want to throw rocks at people today” something inside of me SPARKS.

xo

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don’t want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, “What was THAT?!”

that would be fucking amazing if my blog had artificial intelligence and was like a person i could hang out with and then a movie would be made about it and will smith would be in it and yell at my blog-entity for not being a real human and then eventually come to terms with it and have compassion for it and i would play the role of the smart and sexy scientist girl who taught will smith that blogs had feelings too even if they weren’t real feelings but simulated by the blog creator and so all these people are walking around with their blogbots and the blogbots refer to their blog creators as mother or father i dunno this is a pretty good idea i bet hollywood will steal it eventually.

and like the blogs with most hits like mine are followed around by the blogs with less hits and my blog would have all these minions doing its bidding and eventually there would be a humonguous blog war and some good blogs would like fight crime and mine would be a pacifist drunk failed stand-up comedian. phil’s blog would talk in third person and my blog would make fun of it mercilessly. google would live in a huge mansion.

will smith would eventually have a blog too.

the name of this movie would be BLOG of course and the god of the blogosphere would be called BLOGZILLA no that would be the president of Japan. Blog god would be called BLOGD.

everyone who once had a blog but stopped blogging would be a part of this alternative society that thought it was better than people with blog-entities and the blog entities and creators would battle but not until the sequel no i mean there is a trilogy of films and in the third one the blog-entities are banished to middle earth for safety and then neo and morpheus are like what’s up raymitheminx.blogspot.com and raymitheminx.blogspot.com kicks neo’s ass and will smith and morpheus spar for a bit and then become best friends and eventually my blog is DELETED but comes back in part four because blogger.com had it backed up and everyone is like WOW i thought freddy was dead but NO he wasn’t.

think about it!

CAPS LOCK ODE TO RAYMITHEMINX.BLOGSPOT.COM

OH RAYMI

RAYMI THE MINX DOT BLOGSPOT DOT COM

YOU ARE THE BOMB

YOU ARE ‘DA BOMB

SO COOL EVERYONE READS YOU EVEN MY MOM

I WISH I COULD CARRY YOU AROUND IN MY PALM

OH WAIT I COULD IF I HAD A PALM PILOT WHICH I THINK ONLY NERDS AND CALCULUS MATHEMATICIANS OWN

IF I DID IT WOULD BE THE COLOR VIOLET BECAUSE IT RHYMES WITH PALM PILOT AND I WOULD SAY WHERE IS MY VIOLET PALM PILOT AND THEN WRITE A SONG ABOUT IT

RAYMI

YOU ARE PRETTY AND YOUR BLOG IS FUNNY

I MEAN I AM TALKING TO MYSELF SO I SHOULD SAY I AM VERY PRETTY SO I DON’T CONFUSE ANYBODY

AND THAT MY BLOG IS VERY FUNNY

I KNOW I WILL NEVER EVER RUN OUT OF JOKES

COS I GET ALL MY MATERIAL OFF FUNNY BLOKES

MAYBE I WILL GET THE NEW ALBUM BY THE STROKES

EVEN IF YOU WERE FULL OF POETRY AND MSN CONVERSATIONS YOU WOULD STILL BE POPULAR

MY UNDYING LOVE FOR YOU IS A MILLION TIMES BIGGER THAN SATURN

THE END

please don’t waste my time by making me read your annoying whiney complaints about women and armhair. i hate men who whine about that more than i hate hearing feminists be feminists. fuck. there’s nothing that makes you lose coolness points faster than talking about a woman’s hairy armpit and then saying WOW I HOPE SHE TRIMS HER BUSH. it’s like people talking in movie theatres I WILL FUCKING PUNCH YOU LIKE PUT MY FIST THROUGH YOUR HEAD TO THE OTHER SIDE. hairy armpits are such a non-issue and should be treated as such.

if men can let that shit grow women can too, you think it looks good on men but not on women? women are suppose to be prim and clean and princessy all the time? whatever women are expected to shave men should have to shave the same parts too.

and if you DEMAND for her to shave her pits then she is allowed to put the hair trimmings in your sandwiches and toothbrush and underwear drawer and other mysterious places.

that is all.