dear world

yesterday we went to my dad’s for a bbq and to meet some welsh cousins i haven’t met before and we played in the backyard with a frisbee and a smallish ball that hurts when someone whips it at your bare leg and another ball that is bigger but doesn’t hurt and we invented a game where you have to run through the center of the circle and make it to the house and three random people throw the balls and frisbee at you. i went first then my brother then fil and when fil went the one british cousin had the frisbee and hurled it as hard as he could at fil and missed but it hit my mom in the eye and nose simultaneously and blood flew everywhere and her nose puffed up HUGE right away and we thought it was broken and she said just before it happened she was thinking that she didn’t want to play anymore so for the rest of the nite she had ice in a plastic bag pressed to her face.

HI MOM! AT LEAST YOUR NOSE ISN’T BROKEN AND AT LEAST IT WASN’T ME WHO DID IT EVEN THO ME AND SHAWN GOT BLAMED FOR IT AND FIL TOO FOR DUCKING.

WELCOME TO DRUGS MONDAY

i am klaus kinski

crispin glover on letterman

james brown HIGH

i am a scary monster what has short-term memory problems.

for those who have not read any of my articles here they are:

HOW TO BE A SMALL TOWN SLUT

CUNT TRUMPET MUSIC – QUEEFS actually listed on wikipedia, i’m a source beyatch!

HOW TO BE A DRUNK ASSHOLE

ODE TO PHARMACEUTICAL NARCOTICS

public affair lip sync

i love the dude completely ignoring them in the background, this is one of their better performances i think and i know because i am a lip sync expert.

rannie took this supes awesome photo of me and emm – the trick to not having a huge fucking face is looking down at the floor unlike the other fifty ones he took bye.

we rented the benchwarmers last nite and it is good because i posess just about every annoying retarded habit of every loser in that movie. there’s a lot of cameos in it and one guy is an agorophobe (me) and lives in a closet and when he finally attempts to venture outside he looks up at the sun and hallucinates that it is pulsing bigger than it actually is so he screams and runs inside. there’s a hell of over the head’s of kids references in it but i guess your ten year old could watch it with you. in the special features on the dvd the entire cast is interviewed and asked if they were bullied in school and zero of them own up to it they just say like OH I WAS THE KID WHO WAS FRIENDS WITH EVERYBODY.

they get the ringer on the other team who is puerto rican, wasted on tequila and beer and i kept wondering if that was stereotypically racist or not, well i know it’s stereotypical but anyway it’s funny i guess cos craig kilborn offers him up to tim meadows and puerto rican dude is drinking a beer and tim is like UH HE IS WAY TOO OLD and craig is like no he’s not and the puerto guy says I AM 12 and passes him a piece of paper with I AM 12 written on it in green crayon and a picture of him without a goatee ahahahahahaha. then his little girl daughter comes out of the bushes and he yells at her in spanish and tim meadows is like YOU HAVE A KID!?!

i have to imdb that tall skinny guy from roadtrip now cos there’s a boy in benchwarmers who looks like he could be his brother.

ooh search quest exploration of the internet’s mystery time!

**UPDATE – i was wrong.