to clear up any and all confusion, here is someone you ARE ALLOWED to make fun of but not to their face. in your head you quietly itemize all the things that are wrong with them and then say them to your boyfriend then write it all down on your blog.

ok.

this guy, green room patio, sunday, and this is what he was wearing:

-hawaiian style shirt except instead of flowers there were 1×1 inch square pin-up nudes, sounds fun and funny but so isn’t

-tevas

-tapered black jeany/dressy pinstripe pants

-napoleon dynamite glasses but NOT for irony

alright and here are all the things that he did wrong:

-crossed and re-crossed his legs at the knee infinity times with them sticknig out in the aisle where the waitress had to wait for him to move his legs everytime she went by

-drank red wine and smelled each glass and swilled it around like it was very expensive and not the regular red that always makes me crap my pants

-quoted seinfeld incorrectly

-leaned over a lot to his friends at the other table instead of SITTING WITH THEM

-slapped the waitress on the arm as she was walking by and said CAN YOU GET ME ANOTHER GLASS OF RED, didn’t say please

-his friends were hitting each other and rough-housing forEVER i mean slapping each other in the face and one was a GIRL and she was taking it pretty hard this was all behind fil’s back so he didn’t see how bad it actually looked

-he and his friends kept doing that guido/gangsta snapsnapsnap thing with their fingers to let the other know that what they said was very hilarious

-one skinny dude of the lot kept place-dropping “I FINALLY BOUGHT A GAMEBOY WHEN I WAS 14 IN AFRICA AND I BEAT MARIO ON THE PLANE TO THAILAND….”

-winelor disappeared leaving his final glass unattended for over twenty minutes

-bummed cigarettes from everyone around him

sigh.

i hope i see him again. i was hoping he would ask me for a smoke just so i could tell him how irritating i found him to be because YES my life is that fulfilled.

TWO YEARS AGO TODAY:

yeh i guess i look pretty skinny and not as tanned in this picture. it was taken, um, a couple of weeks ago. i’m still pretty tan, though, it’s just the lighting and the pale hungoverness of my being at the time and the angle that shows the skinnay. and the, well, stress. the metabolism. the depression. the everything i decide to take on because i am trying to be everyone’s mother.

enough on that.

the video music awards things are on now and fil is on his way over with my cat hat to watch the shit out of it and tell me about the canoe trip and stuffs.

oh and i am not taking lithium i decided. that shit hurt my stomache like nobody’s business, ulcers dude, causes ‘em. as well i was drinking like bukowski all over the place which ain’t cool.

and i saw bb king the other nite and he was too, too moving and this lady told me to shut the fuck up even tho i wasn’t talking the most, well, maybe the loudest but at least i don’t have feathered hair and a leather jacket at a bb king concert and if i wanted someone to be quiet i wouldn’t wait 50 minutes to tell ‘em so and i sure as shit wouldn’t tell them to shut the fuck up ‘cos you never know who yer mouthin’ off to, you know. so i simply stubbed my cigarette out on the back of her chair, went to the bathroom, and expressed my anger in an adult manner to the other pupils of mine, yes, by using sign-language and dolphin squeaks.

and then i went BLAAAARRRRRHHH YAYAYAYYAAAAAAAAAAAA BB to the Kizzle EAST SIIIIIDE!

and something.

saw little miss sunshine last nite finally LOVED IT.

dear: this movie, could you be any better or sweeter? i don’t think so.

dear: little girl from signs I AM GOING TO ABDUCT YOU SO PACK YOUR LITTLE BAGS!

dear: everyone else, if you are not busting up laughing whilst sobbing quietly simultaneously then you are a huge asshole and officially removed from my friend list.

steve carrell plays the suicidal uncle who goes along with the family to california in the vw bus cos he can’t be left alone. his facial hair makes him look like a terrorist. the development of his character is pretty nice to witness, in the beginning all sad and mopey and by the end he is all triumphant and a key player in bringing the family closer.

he runs funny too.

the teenage emo son doesn’t speak cos he’s doing this vow of silence and so he writes everything down on a notepad and the first nite he writes to carrell PLEASE DON’T KILL YOURSELF TONIGHT.

ok i don’t want to spoil anything but at the end the little girl does this dance performance that rivals john heder’s in napoleon dynamite.

bye.

rollin’ with saget

the illest motherfucker in a cardigan sweater.

EVERYDAY

this is incredible i mean what the fuck do YOU have to show from january 2000 to now? oh that’s right, NOTHING.

raymi: guess what instrument i played in grade 7 & 8?

fil: skinflute

OK THIS IS WHAT I WROTE

dear karen

it’s pretty pathetic that your station is reduced to making fun of carnival workers for its show content. is that really the best you can do?
why not make fun of black people next or gas station attendants!? seriously, 99.9 is shitty enough but now it’s just plain humiliating to live in toronto and be associated with a radio program that belittles a people who come to our city to work and put on a yearly event and all you do to say thanks is point out their body odour? hey maybe my 10 year old cousin could be a guest speaker on the program tomorrow his fart jokes totally SLAY!

anyway, i’m not one to stop myself from making fun of every person and thing in my immediate surroundings however, i would know better than to broadcast it on a radio show that is heavily followed by young and impressionable youths who in-turn will be attending the CNE and who knows what after that, i’m not telling you that you should feel responsible that pretty much should be OBVIOUS to you, what i’m saying is YOUR RADIO STATION WAS MAYBE A 5 BEFORE THIS CARNEY SHIT AND NOW IT IS A ZERO.

also i am a popular toronto bigmouth, i have a website that receives roughly 3,000 hits daily and i will definitely be making a stink about this on it, you’re welcome.

yours raymi

DISCUSS IT AT STALKRAYMI

ok so i read my friend sarah‘s blog the other day, you have to scroll down to the carney’s post with the photos i dunno why i can’t link to it specifically anyway i was a little miffed at what i read:

twice in the past week
i have listening to seemingly intelligent dj’s
on different radio stations
be-littling carny workers

to demean and ridicule people
for the job they hold
or how they look and talk
or their level of education
when there are so many people out there
that make every effort to be slothful
and live off the backs of others
makes me sick

so i’m angered cos i get angry at things and i know this is going to surface a bunch of RAYMI YOU SAY RETARD – the difference is i SAY retard but i don’t MAKE FUN OF HANDICAPPED PEOPLE just as i would say carny but i wouldn’t make fun of them.

so then sarah emails me today and says guess what they’re having a make fun of carneys contest for the duration of the CNE!

so anyway i’m going to write to mix 99.9 and inform them of just how whiter than white trash they are and i invite you to do the same here is sarah’s letter try and copy it but change the words around so it looks likes you wrote it hahaa SCHOOL!

Dear Karen,

Thank you in advance for your attention to this email. With kind regards, Sarah

please send an email to

Karen Steele
Program Director
Mix 99.9
pd@mix999.com

and cc

Lorie Russell
General Sales Manager
mixsales@mix999.com