i’m giving up drinking for a month starting november first.

it took me way too long to type that sentence then retype it and correct it and this one too holy shit.

we saw the trailer park boys this afternoon i would write a review but it’s pretty straight forward if you don’t know what the trailer park boys are all about you are a moron or american either way try google.

oh i forgot to mention that last nite as we were in the elevator on our way down to the lobby with chad to wait for our cab, we thought it would be fun to slap each other and at the time we decided it even “felt good” and when i say slap i mean full on across the fucking face SLAP just a hair under PUNCH i don’t think we could have topped that unless i pulled the fire alarm maybe.

i am still drunk probably i am looking forward to the hangover i will be having later on today my eyes are barely open i forgot my toothbrush we are at fil’s mom’s the worst movie is on the fearless vampire killers one dude looks like einstein the other looks like willy wonka chad air-guitared with fil’s leg last nite at the holiday inn i would tell you all the drinks i had but i would probably puke if i thought about it i won the table centre piece mikey’s date has a tattoo of a razor blade on her ankle to commemorate her two year anniversary of not cutting anymore haha i said uh that is emo and she said no it isn’t she said it isn’t cos emo didn’t exist or something when she cut herself which she did for nine years um ok 20 year old oh yeah we went to mikey’s room me and nori to collect him but he didn’t answer cos his girl was puking he has a new york accent he sounds like the basketball diaries bye.

oh now i feel bad cos sharon tate is in the vampire movie whatever.

yay they are married now. outlaw cried a little when she said her vows which of course made me cry and pitt said his very matter-of-factly and his brother sang ava maria perfectly we wanted to clap. mikey‘s hair looks like garth brooks when he was in his alter-ego/emo/chris gaines flop phase. i had the eucharist cos i was hungry and fil was spooked by my knowing all the words to all the blessings and whatever they’re called. we’re killing time before the reception which will probably have a boozeslide you know like a waterslide except with booze. mikey somehow convinced a girl to travel with him from wherever he lives, more dirt on that later.

walking down the stairs with an umbrella and no lense glasses and a dumb hat and a big bag and a winter jacket is hard work.

raymi’s serious slur

i am dressed like an inappropriate teacher for tonite’s outing i punched out the lenses of a pair of sunglasses and i am wearing a pearl necklace and fishnets and lise’s h&m fondue party dress and i have written a bunch of SEE ME AFTER CLASS YOUR SOCIAL STUDIES REPORT SUCKED NO I WILL NOT GO ON A DATE WITH YOUR DATE notes to pass out to everyone at the party i will also be drinking fireball whiskey from a flask oh and i have bad breath which is a very important costume detail and my hair is clipped back when fil came home i was standing in the hallway with a scowl on my face and he cringed at how ugly i look.

maybe i’ll put lipstick all over my teeth.

this is also funny possibly cos no one else is dressing up so i will just be a lunatic at a going away party wearing sunglasses with the lenses punched out kind of like when i lost all my marbles in los angeles.

ok i know friday is suppose to be ONE TIME I WAS SO DRUNK I BLA BLA post day maybe it still is but right now i have a RAYMI’S SUPER DUPER SPECIAL SECRET installment for you which i think you will be way more excited about. the only rule is when i tell you a secret you have to tell a secret on your blog or in my comments like that movie pay it forward and of course i am haley joel osment (nice name pfft) duh so instead of paying it forward like they do in the movie where they “help people” my game is more fun cos it is highly self-involved and NO ONE gets helped. helping people is exhasuting.

welsh corgi!

ok here is my special secret which i will write in caps lock for effect:

WHEN I GO TO SLEEP AT NITE THE WORD HALOSCAN GOES THROUGH MY HEAD A HUNDRED TIMES AND I CANNOT CONTROL IT I THINK IT’S MY BLOG-ADDLED BRAIN SHUTTING ITSELF DOWN FOR THE NITE.

thank you for participating now it is your turn to pay it forward except NOT pay it forward can i get sued?

ps. here is the tomato i ate yesterday

this bitch is for sale

someone put fat on my body so i can’t do the buttons up anymore. it is size 36 XS. i bought it from an army surplus store on yonge street in toronto when i was 15 for maybe 60 bucks and i sewed those patches on so it’s perfect if you are a racialist cos i sewed WHITE on it but not cos i’m a racialist or anything it’s because white is my last name see and i also sewed the cavalry patches on the shoulder/sleeves which may or may not be upside down but alack there you have my super determined amazing fifteen year old sewing skills AND my last name. you can have this beauty for 60 dollars w/ shipping&handling. natch. it’s perfect if you are a slight of build emo hipster boy or girl it makes your waist look tiny yay. it’s in perfect condition and if you wanted to get one today from a store would cost close to a hundred bucks yo. so yeah tell me if you want it.

to get you into the spooky halloween mood i will tell you a scary dream i had i call it:

fil’s dad get out of my dreams and into my car

i will keep it short cos i know reading people’s dreams is totally boring so here is my dream in POINT FORM

-i was forced to go to scarborough with a bunch of guys and we had a gun with us for sale i don’t know why it took three cars full of people to bring 1 gun

-then i flipped out on one of the guys in a bordello style family restaurant like LONESTAR or something and they all ditched me

-they ditched me with a stickshift delorean (which was white) and i was trying to drive it back to oakville but i didn’t know any of the streets and i was terribly embarrassed cos i was driving into guardrails and shit so i pulled into this stripjoint plaza and ran into one of the strip clubs and i was bawling and all the strippers came out and were very nice and they were gonna get this one big gay guy i guess is their den mother to drive me home but then i started working there for some reason

-oh yeah i left the delorean half parked on a fountain/art sculpture in the middle of some square haha

-later on i decide to call fil for help and he is not answering the fone. i tried him maybe three times and then the fourth call his dad had changed his voicemail to his voice telling me that i am harassing fil and him too and that they were scared and would call the police if i called again

-then i was all panicky and sad and i woke up

i don’t know why i didn’t just take the fucking subway back yeesh.

me: there is no space in delorean

me: exactly

the singhsons