last nite i could barely stay awake at green room after my mountain of nachos i dunno why i’ve been sleeping in a lot lately save for yesterday anyway when we got home i was pulling my sweater off up over my head and jumped in the air to help cos you know shit sticks to you when it’s cold out cos of sweat and as i am jumping with both my arms shooting straight up with my sweater over my face fil decides to push/bodycheck me mid-jump/flight and i flew backward five feet onto the bed and then lay there giggling like a retard with my arms all tangled in my sweater over my head and then fil realised he did a funny thing and grilled me over what was so funny about it and then i had to deconstruct it all like on those tbs/superstation commercials where people call in the fake tbs call center and describe a scenario that just happened and tbs people say yeah it’s ok to laugh that was funny.

the end.

LOTR jack black spoof

david blaine spoof

the death of myspace

crazy frog brothers

my left eye got soap in it when i wasn’t paying attention tho my bath was awhile ago and all of a sudden the soap is like MAKE YOURSELF KNOWN. come to think of it now i might have just put laundry detergent in my eye out of excitement over the new washers FRONT LOADING!

guess which genius i will be capturing on canvas next…

the moral of the story is i just discovered a fashion zit on the right apple-part of my cheek.

me: i want a sour cream gun the one they use at taco bell
just a heads up

Phil: um ok menses

me: im serious
im googling it right now

Phil: the sour cream gun?
why
what for

me: SOUR CREAM
im on taco bell’s website
you’d think they would have a picture of it

Phil: ok sour cream fiend whats the big deal with the gun
you want to eat sour cream straight from the gun?

me: i like how it makes the sour cream taste better and like cake icing, the piping around a cake
i am picturing myself shooting that into my mouth

Phil: um no it doesn’t make it taste better
the stuff they use isn’t real
it’s modified so it tastes better
but is a billion times worse for you

me: yeah i know that but i dont care i want that device
i would put other stuff in it too
like
uh
sour cream
thats all i really want

Phil: boy i am hungry for taco bell now thanks so much

me: seriously lets drive to mississauga to eat taco bell then go home and feel fat for the rest of the nite

Phil: no thank you
i dont want it that badly
actually the more i think about it, at all

me: ok
well a gun like that would be awesome
then u wouldnt need forks or spoons anymore

Phil: yes true

me: u could shoot your omellete out of it
or a steak
yum
haha
ew

Phil: but you would feel obliged to eat lots of whatever you happend to have in it
like ground beef
or blended bacon

me: well just put one portion in it one meal

Phil: or peanut butter and jam swirl

me: butter chicken
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
ew peanutbutter

Phil: ew blended meat dishes is gross thanks

me: ok fine
sourcream sandwiches

Phil: beef shake, extra thick and creamy

me: ok barf

Phil: yep i win

me: im picturing going over to say samirs house for dinner and he has a few gun meals prepared

Phil: like what

me: and the host is always in charge of shooting the gun into yer mouth

Phil: this is giving me indigestion btw

me: doesnt matter just the idea of that being the way people eat in the future

Phil: scallops

me: you have to stand three feet away
kind of like homer’s make-up shotgun for marge

Phil: right yes

me: and you just get blasted in the face an entire meal all at once
that would be an interesting way to die

Phil: that wouldn’t be enjoyable

me: ok ill shut up now obvs i havent eaten anything today yet

Phil: you need to chew and savour
what will we eat then
yo?!

me: NACHOS

AND THAT CONCLUDES ANOTHER ONE OF RAYMI’S CRAVINGS!

CRAZY TYRA WINFREY
a little difficult to watch

TYRA IS A FUCKING BITCH
LEARN FROM THIS cos she cares! “when my mother yells at me like this it’s because she loves me!!” ???

penelope cruz is going to play me in a movie and the movie will be about doing laundry and sighing a lot while having a laundry basket on her hip and there will be wacky spanish humor oh wait is that a movie about her life? i am going back to bed cos i am too retarded for this world right now i have been awake since 5:41am.

also this woman is what i aspire to be after my good ole blogging days are over i can’t decide which hat i like the best

her captions are pretty amazing also

I imaged a frog and knit it.
but, I modelled it on a frog and was not able to knit it.
It is failure.

etienne’s matt good buzznet fotos

On the night before the burial, Cathey’s wife Katherine refused to leave the body, and played songs on her laptop that reminded her of her husband.

i cannot stop looking at this photo and reading the caption. even my period is crying.