excuse me i have a question

new underwears. 4 for $20 ya’lls! it took me ten minutes to select the ones i wanted cos i don’t know my size and i couldn’t feel my hands so in looking for my size i would have to unhang some of them and hold them out and down near my frontal region and guestimate and then hang them back up if no dice, which took forever, and the girls at the cashier desk were looking at me strange and i know i looked strange cos i had this dazy I CAN’T FEEL MY HANDS look on my face which to everyone else looks like an I AM A LUNATIC COMMUNICATING WITH ALIENS RIGHT NOW AND RECEIVING IMPORTANT DATA FROM PLANET KLEXXON 14 facial expression.

ooh it is snowing right now a little bit.

i bought pants last nite that fit but i know in a week will not cos they are big and i will wear them a ton, stretch them out, you know? but i am still going to turn them into skinny pants. they have the gayest design on the ass pockets too, two skull/crossbones with BEDAZZLED SILVER STUDS which i plan to tear off with pliers and there’s fake distressed marks and other crap that’s suppose to trick people into thinking i have owned these jeans since the dawn of levi’s but really just makes people think i work at zellers in scarborough ZING!

so as we are leaving to go pay for our stuff, me and fil, i pass this wall of jeans ALL IN MY SIZE that i had overlooked !!!!! and they didn’t have bedazzled junk all over them either, i was angEry, the numbness is also in my legs so trying on jeans is very irritating and dangerous too, i have scrapes from tags up and down my thighs and bruises from the sensor tags cos i can’t feel them anyway buh this is boring, the numbness will go away eventually and you guys can go back to reading about fart jokes and animals i encounter on the street.

kenneth cowan as party boy for halloween 2006
click for more. harha!

Bjork – Isobel

ok i just planned out what me and lewdmelissa will be doing this afternoon so that she doesn’t think during the day sober raymi is too boring and crabby:

go to honest ed’s

she can watch me return a movie at queen and then watch me rent one

have a snack at green room w/ a pop, NO BEER OR WINE

buy canvases

come back here and paint

go to other stores

i’m not saying which order this will all be in though it is probably obvious i might buy caulking cos the bathtub is starting to gross me out. last bath day some of that blacky filmy bathtub stuff was floating around and it ruined bath day. i seriously cannot bathe if there is anything floating in the tub with me not even a tiny speckle of ANYTHING but peeing in the tub and hanging out for hours is fine um i went too far.

fil bought socks that say the days of the week on them he told me he is almost forty and for a second i believed him but wait he isn’t even 32 yet but soon dude, soon.

we went to winners and it was closed phew and h&m was too double phew so we went to chapters and bought books instead and this old guy chatted up fil on the escalator who was standing backwards waiting for me at the bottom, i was looking at a kid’s PIRATEOLOGY book anyway the old guy is bla bla bla and i get to the top and all polite i go oh are you talking about me he says yes but they can’t anymore cos now i’m there and he goes away and we are looking at a table of books and old guy comes back with a POP UP BOOK about celebrity fuck ups and shows me the entire book and i’m saying all the right nice things it was really endearing of him but i started to feel panicky a little bit cos he was making me interact for longer than i could handle so i went to hide in the fantasy section after that.

there is absolutely no moral to this post by the way i mean there will probably be a KOOKY moral that has nothing to do with anything but this post has no point.

oh i got my mom a journal, it’s her birthday on the 6th. it isa nice journal that “takes its design from the hand-tooled leather cover of a seventeenth-century Bible.” so mom you can write all your thoughts and worries in this journal instead of my comments ok?! ps if you didn’t read my blog then the surprise wouldn’t have been spoiled.

then we went home and watched dawn of the dead and although we’ve seen it a couple times fil has zero memory of any of it so maybe he is forty?

should this just be called the fil blog?

yeah no drinky-poo last nite and none today though i am hanging out with the lewd angel so GOOD TIMING RAYMI YOU MORON!

my stomache is already hurting from sobering out or i’m mindfucking myself into thinking that it is. one time over two years ago i stopped drinking for two weeks and my insides felt like people were kicking them all the time.

the moral of the story is there is more to life than being wasted all the time and it is SHOPPING! haha.

i lost the feeling in my hands again and it was right when i started touching different shirts and shit i wanted whilst shopping and it fully pissed me off and took the fun out of everything if i can’t feel what the fabric feels like then wtf!? i bought a hoodie anyway and underwear and a new hat and four cds here are the cds i bought

the new flaming lips
the new beck
bjork vespertine (someone fucking stole my last copy you know who you are)
travis, singles (i sold mine before i went to nyc cos i’m a genius)

i just “designed” my beck cover/s it wasn’t that fun cos again i can’t feel anything and it took way longer than it should have i am probably going to kill someone cos i am so angry about my loss of touch and my lips are very chapped and i am starving and i am not drinking anymore and now i get to watch fil shop FUN !!!!!!

all i ate today was a bite of two day old pizza so if someone were to sneeze the wrong way near me right now i would pull all their hair out most likely.

i can’t wait for fil to get home he got me a RING!

mikey trying to get laid

i was thinking about your story last night when i was getting fucked up. larry is your only character that is not based on someone you know, but he is like the part of you that even you do not want people to know. am i wrong? -sabrina

well yer close
ive always wanted to be a ridiculously rich piss tank eccentric nut -raymi

the part that made me think it was, was the testing. you’re the type to test people.

um no im not
i fucking hate people who do that
i dont have the capacity to care enough over whether people like me for me or not
i really dont care
as long as theyre there to listen and do what i say they can be monkies it doesnt matter