i get interviewed all the time right cos i’m insightful and other things so here is some blog filler and if you are a highschooler doing a report on blogging, you can copy my answers and make them your own, i mean, what is the internet for if not for stealing?

how effervescent or durable is the process [blogging]? how effervescent or
durable is the fame?

you are using some ridiculous words here this is a joke right? is anything in life durable, or permanent? i’d like to think i’m establishing something with all this work i put into my blog, laying the foundation, i dunno, something like it, something so i won’t have to always explain myself to people who do not blog or read them, cos a blog isn’t concrete, is it, so it can be difficult to convey to people what the draw is, what my deal is. when you say oh i won some blog awards to them it’s like i was mentioned in the yearbook as funniest girl, it’s something, but mostly nothing. the concensus i find is that blogging is frivolous and not worth the time, which i completely disagree with. this thought typically comes out of the mouths of those inept, lacking in creativity and originality type people. seeing you create makes them feel lazy about themselves or sad that they didn’t end up doing the one thing they set out to do in life, so they project their insecurities about that onto you. i know i’m going off mark here, but this is how i feel about it, from a personal standpoint, people have told me, family even, that i just have to fucking deal with it that i am never going to be famous or whatever so i should just suck it up and do something else. i have a lot of anger still about that, a lot of fuck yous to be handed out in the future, basically.

the worst thing about being a blogger: is it the shameless
self-promotion? (that’s what my brother says.)

well your brother isn’t very smart cos WORST and SHAMELESS are oxymorons, aren’t they? there is nothing bad about shamelessness, why waste time feeling shame, i don’t understand. i like to think that i have a unique style to my self-promoting ways, that my fuck you pay attention buy into me is funny haha, and at the end of the day if people aren’t they can tell me to fuck off, it’s not going to hold me back. blogs are self-promoting cos they originated as and still are journals, go to your aunt’s house, find her journals, read them, who are they about? YOUR AUNT. a blog is the same but it is on a computer on the internet, get over it.

CRAZY – jane-wilson ttc bus shotting re-enactment

the real toronto documnetary 1/7

we played guitar hero again last nite don’t worry i won’t write about it again EVEN THOUGH I JUST DID OH SNAP.

i finished off the irish whiskey cos i am a rock and roller and fil had orange juice.

a ten year old left me a comment yesterday, i hope it was someone fucking with me.

i am in a spending money mood i think i might go do that seeing as i am up a bit earlier today. i have to finish a canvas and buy some more. i want to buy new clothes. you fucks not wanting my raymistore selections i am just going to leave them all in a bag on the street or something, i have too much shit i don’t wear. so far the crazy dress and green sweater are takers.

still haven’t had a cigarette no i haven’t quit i am just lazy and it is winter i am however more boogery and phlegmy cos of it, not cool.

stop the world jamie redesigned his blog.

THE TOUGHEST WIPE IN AUSTRALIA – SANDY

OH MY CRAP!

watch that video!!!

As Peter tried to enter the store, the man inside recognized him and came out swinging.

Silverman is now 75 years old but managed to give as good as he got, defending himself with his fists clenched.

when fil wears his glasses he is known as MEAN FIL cos he gets bossy and authoritative and snippy, at first when i mentioned this he said by me projecting what was in my head of him acting differently whilst wearing glasses it mindfucks him into actually acting differently, so it comes true, so he has a complex, he said something like that. whatever, it IS true.

what should i get fil for valentine’s day? nothing expensive either and don’t say write him a poem and recite it along w/ playing an acoustic guitar because my poem would be YOU ARE CRABBY WHEN YOU ARE HUNGRY I WANT TO SLASH YOUR TIRES WHEN YOU BOSS ME AROUND YOU WON’T LET ME GET A KITTEN BECAUSE OF CID SO I AM BASICALLY WAITING FOR HIM TO DIIIIE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY and then i do a dramatic interpretive dance in a taupe leotard.

haha taupe.

FUN WITH FEBRUARY 2006 ARCHIVES

here is the valentine’s day poem i wrote last year enjoy

VALENTIN’S DAY ODE
by raymi

i am the smartest i am the prettiest

i am way cooler than meridius

my blog is amazing and it is great

i will smash you with my plate

your blog sucks i never read it

your dumb grandma wears pants that are pleated

your house smells like hot garbage

you could braid mountains from your arm hairs

yesterday i snooped through your stuff

and i left some dynamite in your mom’s muff

when you talk i want to explode

you are uglier than a toad

i don’t want to write the rest of this song

you are too ugly i can’t go on

I AM NOT CRAZY

SOME OLD BLOGGING ADVICE THAT IS MORE OR LESS THE SAME SHIT I AM SELLING THESE DAYS

i give rock 101 to a 19 year old

CONVERSATION BUNNY AND I HAD ABOUT GUNS

i have one arm

discussion with frank

coolness tips 101 w/ merkley

this is funny

i talk to a teenager

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY

more one year ago today

listen to their RAYMI song yes it is about me

another song/poem by raymi

i want to rearrange the furniture in the condo but we have to get rid of a table and four chairs first so i feel like i can’t do anything until that one table is gone and thus, the rearranging furniture feeling passes. it does feel cluttered in here, there are like, twelve chairs in this whole room, that’s a lot and the extra table is now a junk table, the other one we don’t even eat at it’s just disguise for all the garbage accumulated on its surrounding chairs, mostly mine. i use my laptop case as clutch for all my felt material scraps ok it is now a sewing case, the last time i sewed was during summer anyway it sits on a chair stuffed and exploded open looking it makes me feel depressed so i try not to notice it.

what else do you want to know?

yeah, i can’t do anything until there is minus a table in our place, that’s that.

i haven’t smoked since sunday, it’s too cold and cos i barely smoke these days the headrush nap-feeling afterward is something fierce, fil will be playing guitar hero or wii and it’ll be my turn but i will just be slumped on the couch behind him dozing away as he greedily takes advantage of the extra songs he gets to do.

maybe i’ll transcribe some of my teenage emo journals for you later today, that’ll be fun, i’ll caption them and tell you what drugs i was on during.

my dad bought a new house i forgot to ask if there was a pool, i doubt it.

last nite fil and i drank jameson’s and played guitar hero and finished the cooperative part but nothing cool happened, he did however get some cheats off the internet to make our guys do air guitar and their heads were on fire and then there is one where your guys have horse heads for heads and the audience’ heads are eyeballs. it’s neat to see your dude air guitar cos they do all the right guitar licks and riffs whatever insert guitar nerd terminology here BUT they are doing it sans guitar so it’s a geeky i know what is going on feeling these characters are meant to do the same shit as if they are holding a guitar or bass or the fish guitar, whathaveyou but they AREN’T HOLDING A GUITAR.

oh i guess i haven’t left the apartment since sunday either i AM cool i swear if it wasn’t for my blog the world wouldn’t know i existed, only fil and cid and my parents and our stupid neighbours whom i’d probably be nice to cos i would be starved for attention.

guitar hero II cheat

video of what it looks like to have your character’s head on fire whilst air guitaring your song.

noel’s crochet masterpiece is coming along nicely.

Hi there,

*Laura*

the hour is calling me today apparently

sorry about your friend you should ask for your book back

and that graphic is wicked i want a shirt too

i guess maybe i get embarrassed by some of my blogging but i put it out of my head and turn off the computer so i cant go look at it again or read comments, you know, sleep on it then move on to the next pile of shit to write the next day and then whatever i previously wrote it’s like small potatoes, who cares. people read my blog for a reason right, whatever that reason is, it might have something to do with how i write so it never occurs to me that this is shit i am a failure bla bla etc i go into it thinking i am hysterical and right all the time.

people like self-negaters sometimes though mostly they are all about people who with huge egos, i dunno, be like that, even if you’re faking it, make it look good.

Alex: I know you probably won’t answer but what do you do on an average day? I’ve been reading your blog and it highlights certain events out of your day funny events
but they’re so foregrounded that there is like 0.5% of the day written about in great detail and no idea at all about the rest I’m not criticizing your writing I’m curious

me: well i expose a lot and i keep a lot private
i reserve the right to do that

Alex: yeah thats cool I dig that I was just curious do you work? like boring drone style employment or. ….?

me: i work from home i write

Alex: ah cool I thought that might be the case do you write anything other than blogs and myspace?

me: i dont write on myspace i paint i sell art when im not blogging im reading having a bath sleeping watching tv hanging with fil or drinking or doing research i am working on two other books right now

Alex: cool so you’re a professional artist then

me: one could say that

Alex: cool actually I shouldn’t use that word I’m punctuating sentences with it I think there is an interesting tension between what you say and don’t say on your blog
you go to sometimes disgusting detail about little things ie. the wet fart in the dream and then the next entry is like days later although that was not a specific example just then my bad anyway I gotta go to work

me: that wet fart was a dream someone had about me and my bf i did not write that

Alex: really? it read like something you would write

me: yeah not me
sorry

Alex: ok so it was a bad example
but do you know what I mean anyway?
or am I just dribbling shit?

me: i think i do

Alex: I think maybe thats the appeal

me: u mean the silences are more than silences?
whats the appeal

Alex: well

me: because there seem to be quite a few who think my blog is not appealing at all
or are they lying to themselves

Alex: lol well ok let me rephrase that I find it appealing and this is why the little moments (angry, happy, annoying, whatever) are massively foregrounded the fucked up toe and chilli peppers for example things I (cos I can’t speak generally any more) can relate to you don’t really have personal specific information although it reads like thats all it is I dunno I think I’m trying to express something my brain is not capable of doing

me: so it’s personal and yet not at all at the same time you mean

Alex: yeah

me: and thats a draw?

Alex: well it means that when I’m reading it I feel like I’m getting to know you but then I think about it and using the previous example

me: right

Alex: a) everyone likes or dislikes certain bands and gets emotional about it
b) everyone (at some point) gets a fucked toe and gets emotional about it
I guess its your style of writing that makes it seem more personal
question : if no-one likes your blog

me: it’s tricky manipulation thats actually not at all tricky, it’s concise

Alex: how do you make any money?

me: well tons of people love it im just focusing on the ones who claim not to cos im pessimistic

Alex: ah have you noticed that your old blogs the ones I read ages ago had much more of the outside world in them?

me: how so

Alex: well ok this is gonna sound vague cos it was 5 years ago but

me: you mean ive become more withdrawn

Alex: like I remember a hardware store? well I don’t want to use words like withdrawn
cos for all I know

me: yeah i worked in one from the age of 15 off and on for 5 years

Alex: the 99.5% you don’t write about you’re running around mental

me: well i am more withdrawn now i try and picture myself out working with other people and it’s hard, ive become neurotic i spend a lot of time in my head

Alex: you have always been neurotic I can tell well from the blog anyway

me: yes well moreso now i guess but more of a laidback
i think ive become more shy

Alex: yeah I can tell that too you’re very wary of the world its like you’re looking out a window unsure of whats going on

me: ive lost some self esteem along the way also

Alex: all of a sudden this is like dr phil

me: people are very mean and critical of me, when theyre nice theyre quite nice when theyre nasty it’s like what the hell i dont judge you no im sure of whats going on maybe too sure im always analyzing everything

Alex: but its from more of a distance now

me: ya well i did a lot of seedy shit and a lot of bad things happened in my past so what can i say i have a lot of anger still

Alex: “an artist creates their own moral universe”

me: right

Alex: well I just mean (actually, someone said that in a movie I watched the other night)

me: ha

Alex: bad seedy shit don’t matter hang on wtf who am I? don’t listen to me

me: i listen to people too much i let them get to me im too sensitive