today i’m going to be a big gay and print up the “autobiography” i’m writing and go sit in a hipster hangout and pretend to be all cool and edit it for awhile. if you see me please say something nice. thanks.

this giraffe had its head smashed in but luckily, this dude exists.

if i die tomorrow it’s ’cause i’m a mouthy bitch.

this dude decided to dump a litre of coke on the fresh white sidewalk in front of my apt. so i was all dude, what the hell and he is like, yeh whatever and then we’re all bla bla thanks a lot and he’s all talking to us in porchugeuse or something and muttering so we mouth off a bit more and he goes you’re stupid and i’m like are you talking? and he goes shut up and drove away.

true fucking story.

Matt Berning’s Weblog for Computer Science (Period 4) with Mr. McPartland You go matt!

new coolest place for losers like you

in case you were wondering, yes, it’s true, i have destroyed my 175 dollar dye/cut job by adding more blond chunks to my ‘do. i am a fucking idiot. i look like a kurt cobain die-hard, which is cool ‘n all, but, seven years late.

I have insomnia, or rather, it has me and I’ve had a blasted headache for what seems to be seven hours now. It is beyond headache-ness, it’s more like a subtle tippa-tippa-tippa-tippa sensation on the top of my skull every other second and i am too indifferent to say or do anything about it. Sometimes, acknowledging the problem makes it worse. Or something. riding my bike over bumps and streetcar tracks in the road made my brain feel like it was wobbling around in my head. no lie.

i think i might read something now or go get another glass of grapejuice and perhaps invite all the neighbourhood cats into my bedroom to see if they want to play “suffocate in raymi’s suitcase” for fun.

xo

sexwithsmartpeople my new little project – look out world!

so you guys will hang out here if i post more than once a week, right? I hope so. Someone told me this. So, i’m going to be diligent and stuff and say things more often – try to be less retarded and have better grammar. sure.

have you ever wanted to punch the shit out of someone? i did the other nite. i was caught in this disgusting downpour on my way to work so i looked all gross and wet and angry as hell when i got there. these two bitches were on their way out the building to go to some hussy club and they both laughed at me and called me a drowned rat – whatever, they had horse hair weaves and camel toes. i was so furious i couldn’t even react. the more i thought about it that nite the angrier i got and now i can’t stop fantasizing about strangling one of those bitches.

iwanttobethemostfamouspersonintheworld

I don’t think i ever mentioned that my bike was stolen saturday nite. I mentioned it in HOT CITY but you guys are too fucking snobby to go there so you obviously aren’t aware of the bike theft. I probably deserved it since I steal like every other second. Anyhow, it was horrible timing since it happened the same nite of my 175 dollar haircut + 100 dollar new outfit. The next day I dropped 160 more dollars on a new beast of a ‘cycle, this fancy-ass late 60’s Road King with streamers and a bell. It’s a brown version of pee wee’s bike in his first movie. I love it but the brakes aren’t so good. I think if i’m ever to be in a fatal bike accident that this’ll be the piece of shit to cause it. So, moral of the story is, don’t spend a million dollars every single day like me and don’t leave your fancy bike locked to a pole on a street corner for 24 hours. I swear to God, Hercules stole it – the lock was totally fucked to shit. Impressive.

i’m meeting my mum in a half hour or so. anyone wanna hang with us? we be seein’ some flick – btw, saw two films yesterday. MC5 and nothing more – though i am too ignorant and stupid to draw proper conclusions and form opinions so, i offer nothing. one sucked less than the other. there ya go. oh yeh, i was too lazy to go home and change underwear yesterday so i was conned into spending forty dollars and twenty-five cents on a fucking paul frank boy underpants/tank-top set from the dyke at F/X. i hate that bitch. i told her i have a major spending-all-my-money problem but still she is like, here, look at this and i am like ok, here’s all my money, do you want some more?

dirtbag.

this show on the comedy network linked me. i think they even mentioned me on air too. i rule.