played 3d worms ’til 1 in the morning beer after beer and eventually it’s strictly all about the air strikes. last nite’s dream was just too retarded to explain. hanging out with jesus tonite (scott). right now my hair looks like 80’s rock – kideo/spinal tap/garth of wayne’s world fame which means no more sleeping on my face. i can’t wait to get home and do all my laundry so i can wear the same one outfit i always wear ‘cept this time with clean socks.

cid is so annoying in the morning when you feed him because he blocks your way to the fridge and to the cutlery drawer to get a knife for his friggin’ cat food and then while you’re picking up his dish and putting it down again because he is so excited for eating. dude you’d be eating way faster if you weren’t doing figure eights around my feet every goddamn step i take. i can’t stop thinking about how annoying it is i’m afraid i’ll go outside and bump into some random and they’ll be hey what’s new and i’ll blurt out a big tale of exasperation involving a cat and feeding it when i am hung over and that’s all the material i’ve got, the only thing that is new with me.

less than a week and i’ll be 22.

morir de cara al sol

i seriously have to do something about my lifestyle. upon watching the reward challenge of tonite’s episode of survivor and the underdog tribe won, i, actually, got a thrill from it.

lame city, population me.

also, the last day of winter was suppose to be the 21st so what’s the deal with blizzathon 2005 all of a sudden?

fil actually knows what the weatherman’s name is, the one specific to the weather channel.

we watched return of the king and my ADD didn’t kick in ’til maybe 2/3 the way through and my special brainpowers were able to detect every homosexual undertone like nobody’s business.

my crazy doctor doesn’t think i am bipolar. more on this later.

he also retold a metaphor story that he used maybe the 4th session and i pretended that i hadn’t already heard it though this time instead of a sinking raft it was a sinking USS titanic and there was no fancy island to swim to.

in the beginning i am neurotic and entertaining, now, i’m just boring and dude’s probably thinking oh my god get normal or just kill yourself already, do something drastic for fucksakes so we have something to discuss other than your blog!

oh yeah something else i said that was awesome yesterday at the trying to be posh bar/eatery that has replaced the regular drunken dive pub – the new owners are taking socializing with the clientele way too seriously and this one lady in particular was just brutal and so we were analyzing her every move and thing that she said and she was wearing this long white pea jacket and i said YA man who is she, the scientist of the restaurant? too bad a) no one was listening to me when i said that and therefore b) nobody laughed at the funniest remark in the universe made by ME!

then i saw a somewhat distinguished old man with a little chapeau on unashamedly spit on the sidewalk right in front of aimee and i and he kept right on walking.

maybe i should call the local newspaper about that one?

ok upon impulsive self haircut job i now look like an after school special teenager/made for tv movie star.

because i have the mentality of an eight year old and think that everyone cares about the same things i care about i will have you know that survivor is on TONITE!

now i am going to cut my hair diagonally.

for some reason i thought those bloomer-style underwears were the shit as in dead-sexy and cute. that was back when life was like, trash-city.

anyway, last nite i didn’t make it ’til dave chapelle, i fell asleep on fil and he got up to go to bed and then called me over and i was in a sitting up position with my arms folded into my body like an old man or a troll.

and then i dreamed about the big bottle of apple juice that fil bought, oh excitement! we had gone to the company and were complaining about the size of the bottle. (one of those bulk-size ones that housewives buy for their 7 children) i said bitch it’s like holding a mountain to my face and trying not to spill it all over myself. i was demanding several smaller bottles.

then i dreamt of other crap involving violence and floating and candy, i dunno.

we recorded at band practise last nite. can’t wait to hear how stupid and warbly i sound.

my comeback of the evening is as follows:

“oh, did you drink a cup of smart-ass on your way over?”

i am the best. me!

i just wasted several minutes going through my archives and it has inspired me to cut my bangs shorter, to never get fat and to never have a lesbo short haircut and to also maybe do something more with my time, like, crochet stuffed animals and donate them to the red cross or maybe learn a valuable trade.

last nite was very jackass.

i got shot in the ass with an industrial airgun. fun, i know! i have a welt too. fil got shot in the face with an oily rag. he was wearing a face protector visor whatever though. we were shooting pyramids of beer cans in martin’s shop and then exploding those bullets and adding hot glue to nails and screws and making spears out of metal rods.

being safe is boring.

i wasn’t expecting being shot to hurt though, i thought martin was making a dinky little tape ball but no it was dried glue in the shape of a bullet with duct tape on it and here i am standing there feeling all heroic and brave and then UUUUUUUUUUNGGHGHGH AHHHHAHHH my fucking ass! it hurt so much i felt like vomitting.

i just got a major out of nowhere urge to eat a huge hamburger.

you know one of those greasy ones from some ghetto mom ‘n pop diner? ya one of those.

and i never have hamburger cravings, not until i am out at a restaurant and i end up ordering the special that is usually unrewarding and then whoever i am with orders the burger and i won’t shut up until i am granted a bite out of it and then three more bites after that and then i promise myself that the next time i will order a burger and i never do.

if i don’t eat a burger right now i will cut off all of my hair!