matt made the hugest friggin’ minute steaks last nite and we pulled the kitchen table way up to the television last nite while watching extreme makeover home edition and cried over all the little aids girls and their generous cancer mom and then played drink drank dronk screaming mean things at each other, screw each other over as much as possible monopoly. i was the first to put up houses on my ghetto property – baltic and mediterranean avenue but that wasn’t until two hours into the game. before that someone fnally landed on baltic i was like YES PAY ME BITCH and then fil threw two dollars at me and then one more to make it a one dollar ‘dis. fucker.
quote of the week: “Your mother sucks cock in hell, lick me, lick me.”
jen put her feet in the monopoly boxes and did the splitz and started cry-laughing when she saw the video of herself whilst on the fone wearing big stupid glasses with the tag still on.
um, ya so we cheated jen and i and in the end it worked against us because fil turned into a little girl out of nowhere and flipped the monopoly board and we tried to make him think that we were super duper angry about it and for a second there he seemed panic-stricken and believed us.
just came back from kitto and ate the shit out of beef udon soup. it was so good i wish i was eating it right now. last nite i hiccupped all the way back from bowling/drinking and then some and ate left over sushi. jen likes soy cheese. what a nutcase. that crap tastes like pretend food, fisher price plastic. when jen sits on her exercise ball the dogs bark hysterically and casey goes psychotic on his furry ball. anyway, it’s funny. fil handed our asses to us at 5 pin which was surprising because he usually can’t aim for shit. i’m dying my hair black when i get home. stamped it.
i drank a lot yesterday and felt wobbly this morning. matt said he couldn’t tell i was loaded. i said i am good at hiding it but fil, he knows because he is jedi master of detecting boozedness and then i try and say that i’m not and have this retarded look on my face and my eyes look in opposite directions and then i turn into pervotron sleazebag 3000.
we just got back from the gay forest what is stanley park.
they have a nice view from their condo.
fil and i are couch-surfing and sleeping so close makes me sweat like mental so my hair is extra retarded when i get up and jen and matt are good at acting like my hair isn’t insanely frizzy curly totally nerdy and then i go look in the mirror and want to die. i swear my hair looks like a big ole wig. i never should have dyed it.
arts county was funcity today. shoes and scary hard objects flying at us galore.
fil signed an autograph for some student groupie security girl who thought he was famous because he is a hundred feet tall. i signed zero autographs though i was blog spotted once.
i love the hell out of matt/jenn’s dogs and every now and then find myself thinking about hugging them and talking to them like i am autistic.
i didn’t bring my camera upload card thing so you’ll have to wait for pics.
i just watched frida and i liked it. i thought selma hayek would be a pompous tit but she wasnt. she was fiery and slutty and had a uni-brow.
fantastic.
i have discovered a new way to annoy fil by way of making gross tongue/mouth noises after eating.
“What are you doing?”
“It tastes good inside my mouth right now so i am tasting it again.”
“Do you like the taste of blood?”
then i drew hitler moustaches on everyone’s face in the globe&mail.
i think the waitress thought i was retarded because i stumbled over asking for a glass of water and asked for a glass of ice and then i asked if the chicken souvlaki on a pita would have garlic sauce on it.
that’s like asking if there are books at the library.
fil said to me that skid row called and they want their hair back.
har-huh.
we are already fighting over music that will be going on his ipod for tomorrow’s flight. he is not being fair. i don’t care what he says, kylie minogue AND justin timberlake will be on that thing, i am putting my foot down.
I hate it when guys shave off their moustache. Their faces look so bald. Remember when your dad would do it after 15 years and you’d be like, “Who the fuck are you?”
i have a mild heart attack everytime the television box settles and makes that big loud hollow tv settling noise out of nowhere and you’re like what do you think you’re an old house? jesus!
“I tore off a piece of brown paper towel from the dispenser and carefully wrapped up the photo”
raymi says:
hahahahahhaaa
raymi says:
how thoughtful
Jamie says:
i wanted it to look nice, and i didn’t want anyone to see it
raymi says:
brown paper towel nice?
Jamie says:
you know the kind
raymi says:
u didnt like her anymore because she cut her hair
Jamie says:
yup
raymi says:
fucker
raymi says:
did u have a really big head as a kid
Jamie says:
no, you know what it was?
Jamie says:
she started to like me back
Jamie says:
it was the smoochy faces from across the room that turned me off
Jamie says:
who knows why
Jamie says:
some things never change, though, right?
raymi says:
did she have cool outfits
Jamie says:
not as cool as mine, but yeah
raymi says:
pffffffft
Jamie says:
my mom showed me a pic at easter
Jamie says:
i was wearing a wide, white leather belt
Jamie says:
it was hilarious
raymi says:
wow
Jamie says:
fourth grade
raymi says:
i had fluorescent colored outfits
Jamie says:
i should’ve taken it and scanned it so i could post it
Jamie says:
did all the boys love you?
raymi says:
some did, i dont know why, maybe cos i was the loudmouth in every class and they wanted to copy off me
raymi says:
i attracted the dumb cute boys
Jamie says:
you still do
raymi says:
thanks
raymi says:
ya you attract hags
raymi says:
my friend jeremy in grade 2 was boyfriend with this one little girl for a day only because it was cupcake day and he wanted her cupcake and she gave it to him and then he broke up with her after he ate it
Jamie says:
nice
raymi says:
you would do something like that
Jamie says:
probably messed her up for life
Jamie says:
no
raymi says:
i would do something like that
Jamie says:
i used to get chased around the playground by girls
Jamie says:
and i’d run away
Jamie says:
there was a group of, like 5 girls who always chased me
Jamie says:
i’d go on the swings and swing really high so they couldn’t kiss me
raymi says:
oh i know what i did once, this kid had a bunch of cool movie posters his older brother gave to him and i said if he gave me one i would invite him to my super cool make out birthday party, grade 5, and so he gave me one and i didnt invite him
raymi says:
burn
Jamie says:
zing
raymi says:
but i was only allowed to invite so many, so i only invited the good looking popular ones
