so the MRI was easy except for my laying down position was not exactly comfortable, i scrunched my neck up kinda and so i stayed that way for twenty minutes with all these crazy noises going off at my head and at one point i thought i had accidentally hit the panic button but no i had not it was just the machine doing it’s thing. i think i even fell asleep. i showed up drunk. the nurse was kind of bitchy. i could see her eating a sandwich and drinking juice through that mirror above my eyes. telescope mirror.
i am boring.
i have not stayed over once at my new place in toronto yet.
i think i will tomorrow.
there’s a show at the drake that is suppose to be good. a band called mommy and daddy from new york. go to it.
commenced alcoholic beverage consumption yesterday E.A.R.L.Y. and by the time oprah was on we were unattractive cackling housewives slurring about whatever the fuck oprah was giving away to x y and z obese american with bad teeth.
i am having my brain photographed later today so scientists and politicians can learn my secrets and clone me. holy shit imagine ten more me’s? then there could be a house of me laying around hung over arguing with myself and getting pissed off and then slamming doors at the same time and hurling ultimate ‘disses that would go on forever. that would be SO obnoxious and by dinnertime 8 of me would be murdered.
don’t rent assault on precinct 13. we haven’t watched it all yet. it’s kinda awful. ja rule is in it and his name is smiley. need i say more?
i feel guilty because i have loads of pictures that i haven’t done anything with yet and they’re so totally fantastic that when you see them inside your head you will be saying wow she invented photography or something. yesterday i moved in a bunch of my clothes and whatevers into this place, i was pretty stressed out ‘cos i was calling the apartment all day long and one of the roommates was on the fone so i finally left a message “with tone” in it and when we got there the cord of the phone in the hallway was dragged all the way into this dude’s bedroom. he had been on the phone for 8 hours straight. so i haven’t met him yet. the other people seem pretty nice.
before her set there was some comedy going on and one guy was doing all this wacky interpretive performance something or other with props and shit and he kept bouncing a basketball into the crowd and i was like dooooood if that fucker bounces that thing at me i’m going to smash my pint into my teeth. it was quite stressful.
earlier in the day went longboarding along lakeshore’s path thing by the water and fil rollerbladed and on the way back i was fucking tired and some little girls were riding their tiny pink bikes faster than i was going and i felt like a huge embarrassing failure.
in the bathroom at the drake these metrosexual bitches were talking about their clothes and one girl says to her posse hey should i roll my sleeve or not? rolled? unrolled? and she surveyed the lavatory for opinions, looked at me and my disaster of an outfit and asked the woman behind me what she should do.
p’shhhhhhhhaw.
how come every hussy with a credit card acts like they’re paris fucking hilton?
last nite i pulled down aimee’s top and this woman threatened that if i did it again i’ll, “See what happens.”
oooooooooooooooooh.
so now i have a black eye.
that stupid top shrunk up to nothing after washing it just once. friggin’ sweatshirt material.
yesterday we were like sex and the suburbs ie bitch beer patio day and i was pretty quiet for most of it ’til the loudmouth juice hit me and then everything i said was amazing and polite.
yesterday i overheard this woman talking to her gaggle of old lady companions about this great new website called classmates.com and it’s so convenient because it helps you locate all of your old school chums!!! i went up to her and said ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!? THAT IS AMAZING!
ok no i didn’t but i wanted to.
they’re all going to sign up for that shit and have a bajillion classmates spam mails in their email accounts and then they’ll have to start a new email account.
i am so tired of old people complaining about their junk mail. “I have all this junk mail and i don’t know why and i downloaded all of the proper software to block it.”
i’ll tell you why you have junk mail idiot, you sign up to shitty websites like classmates.com and open every single attachment and click every pop-up that blips on your screen and NO I WILL NOT HELP YOU DOWNLOAD AN E-CARD WHY CAN’T YOU FIGURE THIS OUT ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST!?!?
