ok here is a snippet of what i am working on:

This is the thing with sadness that I have learned in my twenty-two years:

It follows you everywhere you go. You cannot run from yourself as much as you think you can. You just can’t and so all the time you spent lying down on the couch upside down in your family room in xyz suburbia you will spend just as much time doing the same in xyz big city except it is ten times more pathetic in the city because then you get to see how much of a failure you are.

The shit is right outside your door and you are finally doing what you whined about doing all along but really what you did was go someplace out of reach, out of touch so your parents and loser old friends can’t see you watching shitty television and eating grilled cheese sandwiches with asshole roommates. Good for you. Clap, clap.

Eventually you get your shit together enough to do something about your sadness and you decide ok tonite I will go out and get fucked so you take your stupid journal/novel and go to some what is suppose to be hipster bar and get wasted and write about how neurotic you are. Pathetic.

This is suppose to be a book about all of that.

there should be a blog for mean people who comment on blogs and say nasty shit. they should start their own fucking blog and just be mean to eachother though it’s probably all the same person so whatever.

last nite i was bad at darts as usual and i got really drunk and cried and stormed off home.

i started writing another book that i will probably not finish and i think i am dyslexic because every word i type is backwards or maybe my fingers are stupid.

anyway if i don’t post as often it’s because there is magical magicalness happening elsewhere.

raymi, do people ever tell you that your problems aren’t really problems, just ’cause you’re pretty?

my nose is a snot factory right now because the way cid shows his love is by shoving his nose inside of your nose over and over again and then making out with your ear. i totally regret cutting my hair but only a little bit. val said last nite that it looked professionally cut. i still want to cut it a bit more but i won’t cos fil said he would break up with me if i did. pfft. i didn’t hang out with mark afterall last nite because he took his antipsychotic and therefore couldn’t go out boozing so fil and i went for a drive in the country then met up with martin and val to talk about the csi board game they bought and then we went home and played the worm game on xbox and i changed all the player’s names to dirty ones like pussmouth and fuckhead and so on.