ok i know that i write about drinking quite a bit and about being wasted and then hungover but THIS time was totally INSANE. saturday nite we went to every single bar in toronto pretty much.

rivoli
horseshoe
ronnie’s
supermarket
back to ronnie’s
xspace
sweaty bettie’s
the drake
social
the gladstone
cadillac lounge

and fucking hell my liver is now its own country.

i kind of didn’t want to go to xspace to see the gossip, not cos i don’t like them but just ‘cos i wanted to be a crotchety lazy drunk and be slunked down in my chair and not have to stand around with hipsters but i am glad i went afterall cos the show was amazing and yeh, totally.

then sunday we saw a teacup chihuaha wearing a tiny t-shirt off a teddy bear and i was a little bit drunk still and therefore retarded and the woman was quite accommodating especially when i was like BLAAAHH!! I CAN’T HANDLE LOOKING AT THAT THING AAAAAAAH!

and then i talked about it for the rest of the day.

yesterday was a family dinner at chez whitehouse and i got to see rocky (cat) and he is so fucking cute i want to put him in my mouth and fil wants to throw him up in a tree so he can lay his eggs. fil tried to catch a rabbit in the backyard but he couldn’t. we played poker. i drank a lot of wine and then we watched dodgeball at fil’s and i drank more wine and passed out halfway through because i am awesome and fil had to walk me to bed and take off my clothes and i don’t remember any of that. he had to fight me out of them or something.

yesterday was my neice’s 7th birthday and today everyone is going to one of those annoying places with balls and games and creepy costumed fucks and i am not going because i have bad nerves and will most likely end up nursing a pitcher and then blowing fifty dollars just to win a green plastic comb and some gummy bears.

the last time i went there with mark and thom for beer and pizza i pretty much had an anxiety attack and fantasized about yelling at all of the children.

RAAAAAAAH!

play this game NOW.

i wrote on fil‘s blog cos he told me to.

i still have to finish watching the end of the machinist so don’t tell me what the ending is or i will BAN you. i didn’t watch survivor, i was going to but i had to go drink beer at the tavern instead and play megatouch. we watched all of ray though, i really liked it.

i dreamt that four people i know died and there was this mass funeral that was never-ending and then everything turned into a video game and zombies were there. fucking weird.

do you ever swallow crazy pills with beer? classy, i know, but anyway, the beer is so cold your teeth can’t take it and the pill just sort of floats there in your mouth and dissolves and your teeth hurt and your face looks ugly, uhhh.

today i am going to drink beer and write a masterpiece.

eat shit.

today i fell over in the office into a bunch of stuff. i was walking around going I NEED A PEN I NEED A PEN in a high-pitched squeaky voice to annoy fil and then i tripped over my sandals and fell into all of my crap. i’ve also been saying YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM a lot like how the dancing hot dog does in that old buy refreshments ad they still play at the drive-in. we are going to watch survivor tonite and drink beer and watch the machinist and also Ray which is about how i use to be blind and black and have a penis.

everyone this is sarah‘s livejournal and she is noel’s girlfriend remember she is that girl with long hair and fucked up bangs i always take pictures of. k bye.

i’m starving and if i don’t get a coffee in me right now i am going to SPLODE! yesterday i did not get conditioner and i did not shower either and today fil is not going to work because his fingers are messed up and so i rolled over in bed and tried to go back to sleep and he’s all HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING and i’m all I’M SLEEPING and he’s all WHY and i’m all COS I’M TIRED.

true story, i know, it gets better.

and then i’m all HEY WHAT IS THIS COS YOU’RE NOT WORKING IS IT PAY ATTENTION TO FIL DAY!?

so now i am awake wearing my stupid gay dress with leg warmers and sandals and down syndrome hairdo.

fsoig;h 3htfdkgnd

the young slutty girl down the hall moved out and now some yuppie loves there i think, i just heard him in the alley talking about going to cuba and scuba diving. the apartment next to him there is this french couple and everytime they are in the alley or the hallway they are always speaking french and it’s like the most beautiful thing to listen to and i pretend that we are all in a soap opera together and i’m the crazy shut-in down the hall that they never speak to. anyway.