this foto and from the original page where some kid actually posted on myspace that he was gonna kill himself and linked to this page with that fucking song and the emo orange picture. lame.

had my iud changed, with no sedation, nothing. she says oh no it won’t hurt maaaybe some slight cramping, ok fine i can deal with that…

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then i’m all WHY WHY FUUUCK WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH and i was crying and then it was over and she patted me on the knee and disappeared.

finally saw brokeback mountain.

1. jake gylenahalala grows the most obnoxiously annoying moustache 2/3 they way thru the movie and it makes you want to punch yourself in the eyes

2. you cannot understand one fucking word the blond guy is saying and you pretty much go the entire movie without knowing what his name is

3. blond guy’s wife somehow is magically able to suppress her knowledge of his gayness for many years without snapping or letting him know she knows. i would’ve been all PEACE HERE’S THE KIDS YOU LYING HOMO ten seconds into finding out

4. anne hathaway’s nipples are nowhere near as dinnerplatey as i thought they were going to be and she inevitably has platinum hair and black eyebrows EW

5. when the movie starts you are TOTALLY FUCKING BORED and when it is over you are TOTALLY FUCKING DEPRESSED and then you can’t get that guitar theme music out of your head for HOURS

6. randy quaid is in it and he is fat

7. i rate this movie 5/10 – after all this time and all the big deals made over it on CNN and it was totally fucking gay not only literally but like, BOOORING, holy crap i was expecting fireworks and crazy CRAZY CRAAAAZY FUN GAY HOT SEX but jeez, WTF!?

8. michelle williams i think that’s her name looks like an elf

9. anne hathaway has cocksucker lips

10. tonite we watch havoc where anne hathaway gets nude and has a total potty mouth NICE!

LOOK i am a total innovative GENIUS i drew a sock right! and then! i wrote, get this, SOCK, IN BLUE, above it! my mind is so blown right now BLOWN!

best star wars parody yet

worst fucking sleep ever hi welcome to an evening of RACING THOUGHTS brought to you by SOBRIETY. now let’s think of every good and bad thing that has ever happened to us since the beginning of time for the next FIVE HOURS and THEN we can think of things that NEVER HAPPENED and MAKE UP SCENARIOS like they DID HAPPEN.

AMAZING!

wait what it’s 3 am? WHO CARES THIS IS SOOO MUCH FUUUUN!

now here’s the clincher NOW we are going to think of zingers and also go back through everything we just thought about and revamp it for our totally radical and very important BLOG because it is the centre of our universe and everything we say is fantastic!

and then we will think about things to say to piss off mass quantities of people in one go ok ready?

ABORTION IS AMAZING!

EVERYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 19 SHOULD SHUT UP AND LIVE IN CLOSETS!

IS IT JUST ME OR IS YOUR DAD KIND OF FAGGY?

I WROTE A SONG CALLED TRASH GARBAGE UGLY SLUTS AND IT’S ABOUT YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY! YOU’RE WELCOME!

I DON’T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT MUSIC BECAUSE I DON’T REALLY FEEL THAT IT’S RELEVANT.

EVERYONE WHO SMOKES WEED WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH THEIR SISTER!

YOUR MOM DRIVES A BUS!

THAT THING YOU DO NOW I DID IT BEFORE YOU FOUR YEARS AGO AND TEN TIMES BETTER!

i had much better ones last nite but you get the idea.

fil posted the most romantic conversation that we ever had.

raymi says:

ungh i fuckin totally smell bad

merkley??? says:

sweet

merkley??? says:

like hamburger or ham?

raymi says:

i also have hunger weakness

raymi says:

like hamburger BO and dirty vagina

raymi says:

i havent showered in two days

merkley??? says:

ew

raymi says:

ew i know

merkley??? says:

yuck

raymi says:

is that too gross to put on my blog

raymi says:

whatever at least i dont smell like dirty penis

raymi says:

which smells like barf

merkley??? says:

sometimes my nutsack smells pretty awesome

raymi says:

GROSS

merkley??? says:

yeah

merkley??? says:

dont put stinky vagina stuff up it sticks in the brain too long

raymi says:

well its more like the tampon is stinky that is inside of me

merkley??? says:

nutsack smell isnt barf

raymi says:

whatever im going to be all agro-fem

raymi says:

how do you know

merkley??? says:

i can smell my own nuts if i wanna

merkley??? says:

it’s kinda bleach like mixed with maybe a bread smell

raymi says:

gross

merkley??? says:

kinda nutty actually

merkley??? says:

literally

raymi says:

well i think the look of them is what helps propogate the smell in your mind

merkley??? says:

maybe thats why they call them nuts

raymi says:

its like gooseflesh

merkley??? says:

one other vaguely similar smell is the smell of a babies head but the less pleasant version

raymi says:

EW NO WAY

raymi says:

do not compare babies and penis

merkley??? says:

related yes

merkley??? says:

ha ha

raymi says:

still that is way worse than smelly cunt

raymi says:

WAY

merkley??? says:

i disagree

merkley??? says:

i would way rather smell my own nuts

merkley??? says:

dirty vagina is YUCKSVILLE

raymi says:

i like dirty vagina

raymi says:

only mine tho

merkley??? says:

thats because you are a dyke

raymi says:

no its cos i am a lazy ass

merkley??? says:

and you want to march and protest male oppressionn

merkley??? says:

now stop sniffing your fingers this instant

raymi says:

males arent oppressed you fag

raymi says:

im not!

merkley??? says:

ha

today it is all about catch-up and this week is all about not drinking myself into outerspace. i am going to re-screen a screen because fil is a girl and i have 5 years of hardware and repair experience gee i wonder why i am part lesbo?

then we are going to mail off my painting that fil was suppose to take care of while i was away but didn’t and then i have to put all the dishes away that were also not taken care of while i was away and fil will rollerblade and i will longboard and fil will make comments the entire time about how much faster he is going than me and i will be saying YOU FUCKER THIS IS A LONGBOARD NOT ROCKET POWER ROLLERBLADES and little children will be afraid.

i will also most likely destroy several pairs of pants and turn them into shorts that i will end up never wearing and then they will go in the garbage. FUN.

the easter bunny is pretty much my best friend