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I miss everything about me

The continuation continues. The above title means nothing, it’s an emo raymism from weeks ago I once felt moved by, but am now like meh. The continuation continues is a way better title. Expect to see it in the future. The day I land it is Sister’s birthday so I got us a cheesy sister friendship necklace. Unfortunately for her I am keeping the bow for myself. It was the last red one, all the others were green. Sorry too grinchy and Emerald City but mostly St. Patricks day. No. If we’re gonna wear a big stupid bow on our head it’s gonna be in the vein of Minnie Mouse, plus I own everything red why stop now.

Snow is pretty.

Not when you’re out in it though. This photo reads and why the _____ do we live here again?

What’s up it’s a Nana thing? Poor Nana :(.

Honestly, behind the scenes it has been nothing but total absolute stress. One speed bump after another and another of drama, chaos, whatever it’s like at what point does one actually snap? How much can one person take? Saturday night, mom and I were like F–k This and got a bottle of Brut to kick back. Her camera has most of the damage. I dressed down because we weren’t going out anywhere as far as I knew. Anyway it’s a long story but I think I navigated the casual slob look rather well so, capital Whatevs.

We pretty much have the exact same nose it appears in this photo.

Gorgeous flowers from my work. Love those guys.

The ten millionth emotional moment experienced in the last two weeks. We all said something special about Papa and did a toast (shot). He would have liked that. One by one in our one-for-all / all-for-one go around the circle, we blubbered through our words about that man. It’s overwhelming how much you feel or think about someone.

Old men are so gentle, I repeat that a lot. Not all are gentle but I mean the majority of them seem to be old world manners and patience. Someone really good going hurts the most.

From the boat house. Those are doves. SIGHHHHHHHH.

Irrelevant it just got uploaded from my desktop images. I started wearing this sweater again and so I dug up this picture. My mom has one too. This is just last Christmas. Time flies. This will be my first Christmas ever not being around for it.

My brother’s 30th birthday. We threw him a surprise party and I decked the house out like crazy. Fun times. Nana and Papa came too.

More from my desktop. More Holland. TOMORROW! Can’t believe it. I haven’t had a chance to look forward to it, busy at work and Papa stuff. I miss my boyfriend like hell.

And dancing like Elaine in the streets.

And do shit like this. However next time I will have properly sized clothing as I will be packing appropriately to climate. Holla.

That chick is stink-eyeing me. What? Never saw a chick boogey with an on old git before? Amateur.


Morning after the service.

♥♡ I love you papa.

My grandma’s coat. Starting to agonize over which coats to bring with. Surprisingly not agitated over packing because I’ve actually done quite a bit, and it’s no all last minute. Packing for winter is easier than summer because I can layer-up and hide my body in sweaters and feel more or less, attractive. I am just stoked to wear jogging pants and cook and whatever, real life things. Check ya later!

MY BF IS ANGRY is soon to be loaded up with so much more authentic angry bf observances. thx k bye.

4 thoughts on “I miss everything about me

  1. Miss Me But Let Me Go
    “When I come to the end of the road and the sun has set for me
    I want no rites in a gloom filled room. Why cry for a soul set free?

    Miss me a little – but not too long, and not with your head held low
    Remember the love that we once shared. Miss me – but let me go

    For this is a journey that we all must take, and each must go alone
    It’s all a part of the Master’s plan, a step on the road to home.”

  2. Hi, I haven’t been on in awhile, just read the horrible news about your ‘Papa’. My deepest sympathies. You’re always welcome to drop by with the BF and watch DRS (I’ll even mix you any cocktail you like!) Sunny days ahead Lauren.

  3. Hey Raymi,

    I have never wrote you before, but I have been following (semi) your blog for almost 10 years. I just worked up a million plus one guts to even write you. Anyhow, I’m just writing possibly because I’m half (mostly…okay all the way) cut, possibly because it’s Christmas eve and I’m fighting with my bf and feel like shit (and believe it or not this is where I turn)…but mostly because you have always been a silent inspiration to me. When I’m having a really shitty time, I turn to your blog. I was “possibly” (I say possibly cuz I have had a bad habit of switching shrinks as soon as I feel they are “on to me”) diagnosed bipolar a few years ago…I just feel like I can relate to a lot of the things you write and it gives me hope. So I just wanna say thanks, for a lot of laughs, and for a lot of hope, and for making me feel not alone when I read your blog even though we are provinces away (Alberta). For making me feel like I have a friend even though I have never met you. Ungh Niel Diamond just came on Songza and now I inexplicably officially feel like a loser! So I will hesitantly press send and hope you don’t read my piece of shit drunk rambling because if we ever do meet…I will never own up to this shit :-) I love your craziness, I love your blog, the entertainment and comfort it had provided me with. Keep on rocking in the free world.

  4. You’re a doll, thank you. Sorry for not blogging in so long, I promise to make it up like about now and tell yer bf to take a relax pill! It may take awhile but remember, things inevitably get better xoxo your pal Raymboat.

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