ikea idea
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haha check holmeslice behind me all cashed out in the delivery area, totally. everyone was all stress licking on their ice creams while waiting in line i provided far-away narration for all the normies om nom nom om nom NOM! keep licking and you won’t explode in rage. i introduced the teacher to the cafeteria and to my friend, heineken aka drunk shopping. he was all whaaaaaaaaat? oh yeah oh YEAH. my brother and i preach drunk christmas shopping like no other. mad mall anxiety yo. i was speed walking through ikea and teacher was like please can we slow this down a notch. NOPE. i’m a sprinter. WE MUST WIN.
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these are ordered ridiculously so whatever. clearly you have FIGURED OUT one of the things we bought. you are SO smart!
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i had showroom hair. price is right hair. the meatball lady was scary and yelling, super intense, i had low blood sugar and was shaking, pretty weak. i haven’t been eating. i think i am a little bit insane right now. i RAN to my hair appointment yesterday, also of which was a work out day.
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haahahahaha they were almost out of food i cannot even tell you the tornado of meltdown that would have occurred had we been on the other side of the cut off for food point. it was very concentration campy, hostile. i turned to teacher (whoops i almost typed his name) and natasha came up behind me and started barking at people about meatballs and gravy and fries and i JUMPED OUT OF MY SKIN and then we erupted in nervous laughter. nice first impression to the food area. once i asked for heinekens after thankfully spying the sign for beer she liked us more. we had everything on offer, full on bulimia/survivor reward challenge meal times. i was so shaky i couldn’t carry my tray without it shaking and teetering the beers. that and my mom hair outfit, quite the spectacle.
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GIVE ME EVERYTHING AND PUT GRAVY ON EVERYTHING. i had medallions cauliflower cheese puke in sphere cube form, two of them, spinach crepes (ew) and the lingonberry meatball mess hall slop dream dish mmmmm.
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i look like a really annoying cop detective on a crappy show i don’t watch.
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look how much i am a lady when i’m done i put my cutlery down to tell the waiter, sir, i am done. even though there are no waiters here. i learned that from a feature on etiquette i saw once. i know it all. you should not ever touch your face once while at the table, hair, teeth, no mirrors. basically be a statue of perfection and grace. of course, no elbows either.
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and then when they’re not looking…
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my eyebrows have disappeared, have you seen them?
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teacher showed a picture of my twitter thumbnail to a colleague and she goes, woah, she looks bad ass, and he goes, she is. lethal. she is. ha ha.
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i look pretty tired. we were frazzled. the food keeps disappearing and reappearing.
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i laughed at myself a lot. i look like a suburbanite. i love it.
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oh my god. no words ha. my brains feel like they got run over by a dump truck, we stayed up late on adrenaline and crazy and new house things glee. i feel like i was put through a magnificent bender. no wonder perfectionists are always on edge and insane, building perfection is grueling and tiring and stressful. but it MUST be done. why? i dunno, to die of a heart attack and high blood pressure. wicked cool.
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that’s why you must enjoy simple pleasures like stupid stuffed animals. i have no eyes here i don’t have them on.
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i belong on the price is right. man has that show ever gone down the tubes why can’t they just kill it? it’s so painful. we got two of these loungers with blue/white navy striped cushions.
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this part was scary. apparently teacher got in a fight with someone over cart maneuvering while i was scanning candles. a guy was all, you don’t know who i am. yipes.
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gonna be a wicked summer.
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haha thanks nate! you have expunged me of crazy.
guess the muse is baaaaaaack.
i bought banana and nut flavoured cheerios as well as two tubs of bufala ($$$) so i am pumped about those things.
later.
