if fil had his own show it would be clips of him watching the history network and discovery channel with cid in his lap and then at the end there would be a funny little comic penned by me called THE ADVENTURES OF CIL & FID! and it would be about the same thing.
steph came over last nite and we watched the devil’s advocate FOR HER FIRST TIME. we ate doritos and beef patties and drank boxed white wine compliments of philogynist. indigestion kicked in around 1 in the morning. wicked. steph brought me her leather jacket from le chateau, she got herself a new one, anyway she is teeny tiny and the thing actually fits me. leslie texted me a pic of my frye boots yesterday TORTUROUS! they look so dreamy, i pretty much have to block out an entire afternoon just so i can sit and imagine myself float-hovering over the city of toronto wearing steph’s jacket and those boots. yes i have to schedule scumbag loafing time on top of other scumbag loafting time. i have to meet with the curator for my art show in an hour, i’ve already tried to get out of it cos i am professional like that, i left a few emails and called a number that rang forever and ever and left a message, so after we meet she will have the pleasure of reading my nice get out of jail messages – WINNER i am holding my finger up in the air right now doing the symbol for #1 you better believe it. well at least i showered. i pretty much need a whole new wardrobe cos nothing fits now that i am turning into skeletor. i have this blemish on my neck i demanded fil to help extract yesterday when he got home from work, then he sterilized a pin in front of me over a lighter and it freaked me out, i let him poke at it for a bit then got the heebie jeebies and made him stop. oh yeah back to the reason why i mentioned wardrobe, i’m wearing these pants right now that fil hates, i like ‘em, probably because they are probably the longest relationship i have ever endured or ever will, these pants have been with me through thick and thin, wow that’s stupid. oh yeah i also wanted to say that i am coming to feel pretty guilty over all the times i have written about my laundry nemesis, i finally realised that she has no choice but to do laundry every day, it’s part of her job, initially i thought she was just crazy for laundry, but really it is part of her daily routine being the maid for someone in this building, i’m still not keen about the waste of water and electricity everyday though. i had an ah-ha! moment the last time i went down there and she was folding some shit, i wanted to reach out so i made this stupid sigh and said SO MUCH LAUNDRY and she chuckled and said it is never ending and so i said yeah that’s why i save it all up i hate doing it and then bingo, your hero realised that she is a retard (that’s me) cos i’m pretty sure laundry nemesis would like that luxury as well. that, or i spend entirely way too much fucking time pondering elaborate scenarios of other people’s lives who forget me the second i leave the room.
fil wanted me to rave about the soup he made us the other nite that i failed to take a picture of, it was roasted red peppers that he roasted over a blazing fire in the park, browned onions from onions he also grew in the park and successfully hid from hobos, junkies and bad kids, chicken stock from a rotisserie chicken we annihilated god knows when that fil elaborately boiled the bones, skin and remnants of then froze for a month or so in the freezer, um, tomatoes he hand-picked off the vine that the smell BRINGS HIM BACK to the memories of his youth, hot sauce, other stuff lovingly combined in a pot ALL FOR ME THANK YOU FIL THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!
*oopdate – rescheduled curator meeting. this is good so i can actually finish more paintings in time.