oh i just remembered another thing people say that makes me want to set them on fire:
when they do their yearbook grad write-ups and their first line typically is WELL WHAT CAN I SAY?
and then you go through the other write-ups and they ALL begin like that!? fuckers, try SAYING something and then you will KNOW WHAT YOU CAN SAY!
stop trying to be all grandiose and mysterious you are a fucking loser who i don’t even know and i am only reading your dumb blurb cos you went to my cousin’s school who are you? no one. why are you being all dramatic like high school was this huge planet in outerspace that you conquered finally DUDE all you did was go to school and to classes and ate french fries in the cafeteria and wrote bad poetry about your acne fuck off already.
this is you
WELL WHAT CAN I SAY?
and this is me
WHAT OF YOURS CAN I STEAL AND BURN?
this is you
WELL WHAT CAN I SAY?
and this is me
SAY TO ME FIVE REASONS WHY I SHOULDN’T PUNCH YOUR VOCAL CHORDS OUT SO THAT IN THE FUTURE WHEN YOU FINALLY FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS YOU CAN SAY YOU WILL HAVE THE ABILITY TO DO THAT COS I DID NOT PUNCH OUT YOUR VOCAL CHORDS COS YOU TOLD ME FIVE REASONS WHY I SHOULDN’T.
this is you
WELL WHAT CAN I SAY?
and this is me
DUDE I DON’T EVEN CARE YOUR FACE IS FAT
and then you read on and see all these initials of people that are their friends GB HR SJ TR BB FY (totally jokes guy) GG (nice pants!) KL FH and so on
ungh is this the davinci code and i am tom hanks? am i suppose to care that you shouted out 5 people am i suppose to go through the entire yearbook and match up the initials and see if they left some secret message to you HEY THANKS COS I HAD LIKE 3 HOURS THAT I TOTALLY WANTED TO BLOW BUT NO IDEA WHAT TO DO THANKS BRIAN GARRISON THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!111
1. i don’t even know you so my caring what you have to say is probably 3%
2. and now you are making me WAIT to read what you have to say the fucking nerve
ALSO you know what i had to say in my yearbook?
NOTHING. i didn’t have my picture taken i didn’t write shit i didn’t buy it either. though there is some slutty goth hate poetry that was published in it of mine cos some yearbook nerds were in my classes and obviously my writing talents are supreme. thinking back on it now if i could travel back in time to write something i would say that one of the teachers in our school is a dyke and will do something innapropriate with a female student and get fired. nah. i dunno. what do you think i would write?
some of the good ones are when the total outcasts write that they will be someone some day and that everyone will be sorry AHAHAAhahahahaa. i’d probably write something like that.
oh yeah at prom i won an award for funniest person which basically is saying you blew every chance you had at achieving excellency in maths and sciences and english Buuuut we did enjoy the laughs.
THANKS GUYS!
