ok two nites in a row now that carving pumpkins didn’t happen to me! we went to loblaws and they had two huge busted-face looking pumpkins — neither pumpkin jong il appropriate at all, so tonite is the nite and that’s that.

we watched souvenir of canada and it didn’t make me grin like a bastard like the back of the dvd said it would. mostly it had me going I DIDN’T KNOW HE SOUNDED THAT FAGGY, HUH. anyway it was pretty decent and had funny moments and parts that made your heart tinkle and then me and fil fought over where on the east coast we would go visit cos neither of us have ever been so if there are any COOL PEOPLE over there please plan us a trip and tell us which province to go to oh and give us your house too.

later on we were watching comedy channel for a nitecap and i brought up how fil credited ME with getting him watching it and he FULLY DENIED IT even though he’s said it before a few times and even wrote it in his blog but he still denied it and turned over so i said FUCK THIS, got up in my underwear and turned on my laptop and searched his archives in the dark by doing ctrl f “comedy” and i found nothing. though i didn’t go through all his archives entirely.

then when he fell asleep i nuked butter chicken and passed out cos…

wait for it

i’m awesome.

TWO YEARS AGO TODAY (ismokedalotofweed)

let me tell you something about something

everyone is waiting to be discovered so you should discover them and then email them and say wow you have talent i am going to help you and recruit you because you are ridiculously intelliegent and creative and have character because you come from so much pain

and then you help them

but not in the manner in which you want to help them in you have to help them in the manner that strokes their capacity to be the same person they were that made you email them in the first place

you are not suppose to tell them to go to school to get better at what they already know how to do better than you because that is how they came to be

they merely are a different-shaped peg than the hole you already have that you want to fit them into

if this person is a slacker that is how they are because they went thru life being one doing the bare-minimum required of them because they do not care about grades in school so much

they pay attention to things that interest them and if it is not presented in an interesting enough manner than you are a failure of a teacher and you are not trying hard enough because the spark has gone away in your heart because no one properly inspired you and i am sorry about that

don’t refer to this person as “interesting” and leave it at that

you are only allowed to refer to them as “interesting” and be their friend, in their life, talk to them, guide them, help them, if you make a point to understand them and then go the extra yard and say, suckafool, you are a decent investment of my time, tell me what your needs are and i will do everything in my power to help you and we will both make money from this and then you guys write up a contract together and do wha tthe contract says and if your lawyer is a shady focker than you should not be even considering this whole investment-thing

because YOU are a shady focker

the rich can’t keep ripping off the poor

the rich can’t keep being rich

the poor hate the rich the rich hate the poor the poor manipulate the rich the rich stands alone the rich stands alone

hi ho the merry-o

the rich stands alone

the poor fucks the rich, the rich eats more cheese, the poor gets sort of famous, the rich says i invented the poor…the poor revolt, the poor revolt….and eventually goes to jail or something….

anyway

people need to change the way they think about these types of things, these words, titles, it’s such a waste of energy

what else

oh yeh, if you are a man, you will never get it because you do not know what it is like to shed the lining of a uterus and how much crazzyness that entails

all it is about women and menstruating is, they have zero tolerance for your bullshit, zero patience, nothing has changed about them other than that so you continue being males, ignoring your wife/gf and she is screaming at you about a frying pan in the sink and you are all guh?

it’s because you are sitting there, always, doing. nothing.

ok back on track here, how do you properly help this person, what do you do, what do you propose?

you propose nothing other than i want to help refine you because right now you are perfect, i just want to polish you a little and no i do not want you to be the next avril lavigne, i want you to be the next you, i want you to be the margaret cho of your desired industry and you are going to come to all of my fancy yuppie meetings and dazzle everybody and no it is not necessary for you to always be around me, you are allowed to work from home and slack off all you want because i bought you an assistant and they do all the organizing for you and they are completely satisfied in doing that and eventually they will quit and write a tell-all book about you and you will sue them or threaten to write a tell-all book about them and get it published first

it is your duty as “venture capitalist” to go hey, my job sucks i have TONS of money and i am going to approach this person and not wait for them to come to me

or if you’re lucky and have a smart apprentice, they find the talent and suggest it to you because they have a crush on you or know that they will also profit

moreover

EAT IT!

and i say that because i am a big pile of complaining because i am getting older and the smarter i get the dumber i act and one day i am going to just totally burn every bridge i almost had.

ps i quit.

i have not made a number 2 since sunday? even sunday’s was pretty dismal i think anyway i tried to keep this informarion from you and maybe it’s the cause of the constipation!? anyway i can’t wait to #2.

**ps i submitted LONERISM to urban dictionary i am eagerly anticipating its approval

lonerism: typical loner-type stuff loners say, do – a term describing the act or action of a loner

Sally hung out by herself at the cafe on her school lunch break and got wasted because she is the poster-child for lonerism. Sally was known to say things like, “I used to paint my face with red lipstick and stare at myself in the mirror when I felt like expressing my lonerisms.”

raymi’s brother: I made an egg fart in front of a client, was embarrassing!

raymi: ahahaa was it loud

raymi’s brother: It was silent and lingered all through the office

we didn’t carve pumpkins or rent a movie but we did have tacos, ground turkey tacos YUM though ground/turkey sounds like le barf. oh and i have a question:

why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why?