i haven’t cried like i cried last nite in the longest time ever. i couldn’t breathe at points and my mascara ran all the way down to my chin. i can’t take this garbage anymore so i’ve decided i’m just not going to get angry about things anymore or hurt or be affected at all, in anyway. i put myself too out there. spineless the minx. yerrr.

this terribly pathetic dancer of a woman was doing this suppose to be sexy number for her friend and it was his bday and it was fun watching her try and try they were sitting right beside me and angelo like she was practically in my lap and her vagina on my forehead.

watching all women dance is great. i don’t get up and shake it with them anymore kuz no one i know likes dancing and im not really friends with the others so it would just be weird if i am like woooh lets go shake it and i do dance contests and other nonsense to this person who i don’t really know and probably doesn’t like me anyway so i end up sitting there paranoid my boyfriend is making out with someone across the room and i just mutter crap to myself, funny jokes and images of things that come to me and i dream about having a bunch of crumpled up bills in my pocket so i can sit there longer drinking and drinking and wish someone comes up and is all ya baby lets make it and i can say sorry i just came here to drink and be one hundred per cent serious.

and im too awkward and dirty old man styles to be near anyone of the same sex it’s like partying with your uncle peter.

i’m glad i saw seana yesterday she is looking good i wish i could have talked to her more. she is like nice sweater yer patented stripes.

i am a stripe.

i pee’d beside a dumpster in an alley and also by this guy’s benz and put my hand on his bumper to steady myself and not urinate into my purse.

tonite at midnite is anti‘s birthday. he will be 25. his body is all messed up mega-wise by which i mean in serious mysterious pain. what’s the deal with that? when i am in pain i think well i am obviously dying and it means i have chronic gayness disorder.

jamie rules for the nifty banner.