this pic of tim and danny and the man in love with eating is my favorite. tim is making a sweaty/cute thomas the tank engine face, fwoot fwoot! and danny is hot. call me nignog today! it’s 12:34 pm saturday i’m clocking you.

that’s me and kristin and blythe. duh.

so my gay friends are at the farm, fuck i want to go, i have to go find someone who will want to shoot guns with me and be ok with not bathing and can be a folk hero but let me steal all the thunder.

thanks dad for blasting my windows with the hose to wake me up goddammit.

i’m reading in the name of the father ps, the gerry conlon true story, you know it you do. dude rots away in jails his dad dies they didn’t do it there was a movie sinead o’connor has the song for it that makes your heart go BWAAAAAAAH THIS IS TOO MUCH EMOTION!

i like reading.

so we saw dodgeball at the drive-in and i can’t think of the good lines right now, why was vince vaughn such a big pussy, different character you said, ok right.

i got this little caillou doll and a hello kitty stain glass painting thing from the place where the rich cheapos shop kuz everything is 3 dollars and 52 cents pfft and now i realise why the hello kitty thing was so cheap, she’s flipping you off on the purse i swear!

kat/raymi at magicpony

september 29 2000

always stick around for one more drink. sat like a buddha behind a desk. the war paint of punk. he was very much a gentleman he tipped his hat and bowed in greeting. i’m your superhero the sentimental gentleman. as neat as pie crust lazy cuss. tomorrow you sit aptly, brief and tragically squandered alone alone alone this is bad poetry and there you are over there immersed in yourself.

raymi fake-licking angelo‘s puke off the patio.

mad dash for the train huff’n puff’n gone. the sun reflecting off the faces of the am dwellers feigning sleep and absorbing their surroundings somewhat subconscious level once the train stops at the final destination they will hup to as if stung and catch the contagious madrushed frenzy ratrace what a life everyday same thing i see the same thing im 17 and i know this they will go home to the suburbs sad and unwanted. i try to stagger from a distance but it is of no use this riot doesn’t quit the pounding of the morning street echoes off the benches and windows of the buildings there is sunshine and steam and a coating of chills encircle my legs sitting and waiting until it is time to move again.

Lauren,

Have you ever just found your self sitting there, staring at a waterbug as it swam around in a pond. Seemingly without a course the little fella’s rip around and around, they aren’t smart enough to know why, because they are bugs, but there is part of them, someplace in that fucked up thing we call a double helix that makes them do it. It keeps them safe from predators as they are not on an easy to catch course, as well it helps them to find the food they need to survive.

I’m glad you’re doing better, even if it’s just a bit. You know we’re all little water bugs, either we are water bugs, or we are on a set course. No one person of ANY significance ever took the latter path. You’re finding what it is that you need in life right now, maybe it’s not always a fun trip, but it’s an effective one provided you let yourself absorb the shit along the way. Experience is your food man, and the predators are the pitfalls of conforming to mediocrity.

C.

raymi –

you live so much in public view it must be agonizing at times – thank you so much for putting up with everyone and continuing with it – i know some day it will just be gone and that will be that – but for now it is there – a part of my life –

tomorrow is five weeks without booze pills or pot –

when i first read your blog i was strung out on oxy xanax and booze. i found your blog looking for oxy on the web – your article an ode to pharmaceuticals came up in my search and i went to rocketbacp or whatever it is and then to your blog.

yee gads.

but i did spank the monkey yesterday

even tho i know i created an evil demon when i did it…

sigh.

- willheim