fil and i went to see metric last nite and got there uber last minute and stood at the back where everyone was talking real loud and we were psychotically annoyed so we moved near this other gaggle of new wave hags who were talking way louder so fil told them off and one got all huffy and rude and said something about well I was up at the front why don’t you go stand over there na na na na and i said to her to go talk in the fucking bathrooms then they started to dance obnoxiously which was better.
the show was great. loads of pictures. cute spastic dance moves and head shakes.
when it was over we made for the door and the haggy fatmouth said aren’t you going to clap? aren’t you going to clap for the band that you told me to shut up for?
the funny/awkward thing about it is this girl is on my friendster list but i don’t think she knew who i was or perhaps she did but didn’t want to admit to it because then she would have had to have been quiet otherwise it would be some big gay toronto shut up drama.
for the next few days i am taking it upon myself to be personally offended by everything. i’m already pretty good at it. or pretending to be anyway.
i tell fil all of the time that “_________” hurt my feelings even if it is some story that happened in the past, before i was born and has absolutely nothing to do with me whatsoever. i especially enjoy being offended and being all drama about unimportant crap and then getting other people interested also.
dude, it’s winter, what the hell else is there to do?
oh and listening in on other people’s conversations is also great fun too because then you get to feel smarter than they are and then maybe butt in like a big asshole and disagree with everything they were talking about.
then follow-up when you come back from the bathroom by saying something like, “oh and ps. being nostalgic is terribly unhip. everyone knows that.”
you should rent danny deckchair. it’s funny and cute because danny’s girlfriend is a skeezy bitch and one day he is like fuck this and ties all these balloons to his lawn chair during a barbeque and he floats away to another town and starts a new life there and he is mr. popular and everyone loves him and he has a new lady and then he’s gonna be mayor, bla bleh.
so tomorrow is the taping for that sex show and i have no idea what to wear. the producer on the fone broke it down to solid colours only and suggested blue or pink and i’m all sure sure fine no problem then hung up and blew a fuse.
what is this, the oprah winfrey show?
i better get a wicked dildo out of this and everyone better agree with everything that i say.
i don’t get those funny tell-off emails from anonymous people anymore where they tell me i am ugly but they would still fuck me.
oh well.
today i have bad fashion sense and i feel crampy and i have wrinkly winter hands and two medicine cups of nyquil did not put me in a coma, wtf? i tried reading the directions/warnings about 6 in the morning and i saw something about depression medications and other crap but i didn’t bother to try and make sense of it.
instructions = boooring
unless you are on the toilet then everything on bottles of stuff is FASCINATING and you actually consider going to the website or emailing the company or you think of a better slogan and graphic design for them but then you are done peeing/poohing and you forget all about shaving cream and shaving cream is all offended and you are like shut up bitch, go make me a sandwich!
in other news, aimee gave me her homemade “vote for pedro” shirt because she cut it up all new wave-like and doesn’t like how it looks on her though i will wear anything because i am the best. i think i look like mister t when i wear it with a sprinkle of hulk hogan also.
?
there is even a picture of pedro ironed onto the back of it with a fancy scrawl-like frame.
i guess i’m not cool anymore because people aren’t writing love sonnets to me in my comments every 5 minutes! i must have checked my blog for new comments at least a hundred times today.
all time low
all time gay
ward has a new asian girlfriend.
he sent me a bunch of ultra raunchy pictures of the other one he diddled around with and asked if i thought anyone would pay for stuff like that and i said well online porn is a dying market pretty much ‘cos you can get all the porn you want for free now.
in other news, ward’s car has finally died.
gossip bomb.
he drove the crap out of it and he wants to fix it though i dunno why it’s complete junk now though i do have fond memories of that thing.
ward taught me how to drive stick with it.
i know! me! stick!
ward teaching!
can you believe it?
fil and i are doin’ the ‘tussin high today.
it’s all about hot flashes and nausea and hallucinations in the snow.
