i stood outside for a minute to see how warm it was and had an explosion of headache and allergy sinus whatever hit me all at once so now i am hiding in the closet and if i ever drink robitussin again i will vomit. everytime i sneeze it feels like blood is going to shoot out of my nose and ears and scalp. i sat in the tub and felt like i was morphing through time and i guess i fell asleep because the water was black and cold and i meant to write a short story but i thought about throwing tennis balls instead.
i had a mini-dream that i could throw tennis balls majorly fast and hard and far, like that loser kid in rookie of the year and so i was on a tennis court chucking tennis balls for hours.
pretty much the coolest dream yet.
yesterday at the liquor store there was this fat bald guy with a cane who was sweating profusely and the liquor store merchant said, oh is it raining out? and fat sweaty guy says no, i was just rushing here before you guys closed and meanwhile his retarded lady companion is counting out her money as slow as she possibly can and looking at every coin individually and the fat sweaty guy has taken the booze and walked to the other side of the store before the transaction was even finished.
it’s that part of the cold stage where you get to hack up interesting shaped wads of stuff and decide if you like the taste and either spit them out or reswallow for yet another go later on where they come back bigger and better and they can speak japanese.
shots of crown royal, ‘dems nasty.
my chappy lips are still recovering so they’re big and red and cocksuckery-looking and when i eat something hot my face turns to lava and i break out into old lady hives.
pictures to come soon of my black hair ‘cos don’t forget this is the rented movies, watched survivor, i dyed my hair blog!
and sometimes megatouch.
speaking of i had a dream that fil said he was going to go play megatouch and i went along wearing pajamas.
woah i look unattractive in that napoleon picture but i also look major cool so i have to use it.
i just walked to the supermarket. when i walk by myself i am insanely insecure and hate myself. i was whistled at and honked at and stared at a gabillion times and these tweenager girls were walking behind me and in my head i was thinking they were discussing how fat i am and other such junk and then when i finally got to the supermarket i got all the things i wanted and had the first and only verbal human contact of the day with the cashier i felt like hugging her because she said hi to me. then walking back was equally difficult because it is rush-hour small town traffic time and everyone’s heads are sticking out their windows and it seems that chicks carrying plastic bags is a turn on or something. i seriously contemplated walking behind all the houses and buildings regardless of the extra time it would have taken just so people couldn’t look at me.
and the cat is mad at me because i am mad at him because he is attacking me with his affection and won’t leave me alone so i locked him out of the room and when i opened the door he was sitting there waiting and gave me a dirty look and i have zero patience right now because i have a cold coming on.
it feels like i ran a marathon, you know that out of breath coldness in your lungs.
oh and when i walk and it is windy my hair looks like a mullet.
i could go on.
i’m so bored i’m gonna go be a barfly for a little while.
oh yeh last nite’s show was sponsored by exclaim magazine or something and there were all these condoms being passed around and some guy was up on stage going safe sex! safe sex! safe sex! and throwing out condoms to the crowd but i couldn’t hear too well because i had all these dicks in my ears and hands and mouth and cum in my eyes and vaginas in my hair.
i can’t believe i actually thought about blogging this last nite and considered it funny.
whatever most of my readers have the mentality of a 13 year old boy anyway.
whee robitussin high. my throat is getting sore. perfect.
yesterday mark described the workings of dungeons and dragons to me and why he isn’t playing anymore. first of all he had to bring his own snacks and these nerds that play don’t even drink and the whole game is just rolling dice and the dude who is in charge makes up all these things that happen and gives you two options and then you go on to your next move. fucker made up some swamp witch that molests mark and mark can either kill her with his sword or let her live and so mark kills her and then everyone made mark feel bad. you even have to have your own dice and keep them in a gay little pouch.
anyway, mark got told off at the pub by some older than old man who was eating fish ‘n chips with his wife for dinner. apparently mark was swearing too much but i didn’t even notice. i told oldy mcgee that we were there first.
like come on you’re eating dinner in a bar, what do you expect, church behavior?
so i went over to fil‘s to watch the end of survivor because watching survivor is not at all as nerdy as D&D.
then we went to the phoenix to watch the organ and stars and other bands i forget the names of however the organ was fucking snoresville that it turned the alcohol i consumed into crazy moonshine knockout juice and i had to go to the car and pass out ’til the concert was over. i hung in there ’til their fifth song though, of stars.
then hit up rabba for some chips and dip and ate the crap out of them on the ride home.
“Did they play the THAT STAR IS A FRECKLE ON MY FACE…song?”
