hi sarah.
look it’s me and my bro as little shitkids and also me when i was that caveman kid from mad max. thanks for the haircut mom and dad!
last nite i stayed up ’til two, first watching a show on A&E about coroners and you got to see real dead bodies, fucking awesome, good thing i was wasted. i wanted to wake up fil to watch some of it with me but i didn’t cos i knew he had to get up early for a meeting cos he is an “adult” and i flipped back and forth to idiot christians on larry king bad-talking brokeback mountain despite not having seen the movie. that one woman made me want to call in and say something but the only thing i could think of to say was the F word a lot so i didn’t bother.
then i watched extreme makeover and i had something funny to say about that but i forget, maybe it will come back to me.
on another note what’s up dude?
etienne drew that of me, she did one of herself. she should do them of famous people or musicians and they can use them for album covers, they would look good as socks also i think. i can picture wearing socks like these and being somewhere and crossing my legs and someone says hey what’s that and i say it’s me in pencil-drawing form.
i have not left the building in 48 hours, except for 5 minutes when we drove to the movie store but that doesn’t count cos i was in a car. being on the balcony also does not count.
January 17, 2006
i am going to make wainbows a get better crazy felt creation. her face is the size of jupiter cos she is going to the dentist a lot. her felt friend is going to be white with a red cross on it like nurse crosses doiii. right now i am reading a heartbreaking work of staggering genius, i know it came out over four years ago or something. i am angry at fil for not emphasizing exactly how amazing this book is to me before. it is very sad and very funny. i like the part where he says, “and then i push him into a bush.” if my brother wrote books that’s what he would write, little stories about him terrorizing me and then at the end he would write in italics pee pee poo poo and it would make his girlfriend’s head explode.
i need to find some of his drawings from kindergarden and grade one and two up to grade eight pretty much cos all he drew was gi joe’s and explosions and armies and guys falling off buildings with blood everywhere and thought bubbles over their heads of them screaming and running and machine guns. i would wear one of those as a t-shirt and maybe make pillow cases too.
the birthday cards he made were major decent as well, they were parodies of mom and dad with triple chins and wicked big hair and the one of my mum is of her yelling at us not to sit on the friggin’ couch and one of my dad washing the car and ignoring us and making us bacon and eggs with a spatula in his hand and his hair sticking up all sunday morning hungover-like. hilarious.
he always drew me with “bee-stings” for tits and the biggest ugliest nose and a bunch of troll dolls around me cos i use to be really into those fuckin’ things.
he bought me a whitney houston cassette, the bodyguard soundtrack and i use to sing i will always love you in the shower and then he called me a poseur cos i also liked nirvana, cos when you like nirvana you are ONLY allowed to like nirvana and nothing else and i would be like SHAWN BUT YOU BOUGHT ME THAT TAPE THAT’S NOT FAIR!
that cat pretty much would be my best “during the day” friend if he wasn’t such an ungrateful jerk who attacked me constantly and scream-meows at me all day long.
feh.
these are fil’s text messages to me today:
Hi Polesmoker. You are pretty.
me: im taking a bath now.
fil: The you are a delicate water lily in the pool of my heart
me: awww
fil: where are my emails gentle cherry blossom?
me: FUCK OFF
trailer park boys are doing a movie. i have already watched the preview 30 times. my favorite is when bubbles whsipers, “terrible” – that is all for now.
raymi says:
aaaahh-jew!
Lenny Plotz says:
read this raymi
raymi says:
yes i’m reading you are like ….famous
raymi says:
good for you
raymi says:
how can i benefit from all of this?
Lenny Plotz says:
my bastard child?
raymi says:
so what do u wanna do when u come to town, big gay karaoke party?
Lenny Plotz says:
wow u must b psychic?
raymi says:
are u joking?
Lenny Plotz says:
yup
raymi says:
oh
raymi says:
i am sensitive dont hurt my feelings, tell those guys [matt + tre] to read my blog
Lenny Plotz says:
i already told them
raymi says:
and they looked?
Lenny Plotz says:
yup they’re reading it right now
raymi says:
watch that, put speakers on, it’s twenty seconds of me rapping beastie boys at karaoke
raymi says:
dont toy with my emotions
Lenny Plotz says:
gr8 lighting, u should come work on my series
raymi says:
which series
Lenny Plotz says:
polka dot door!
Lenny Plotz says:
my show
Lenny Plotz says:
raymi says:
oh right, haha
raymi says:
i totally want to
Lenny Plotz says:
smoke some more crystal
raymi says:
i have never smoked crystal
Lenny Plotz says:
im fukd too!
raymi says:
i may be fucked tho
raymi says:
will you guys be doing the next series in toronto or la?
raymi says:
my hits are exploding ps, 5000 hits a day!
Lenny Plotz says:
crazy give me a headline and i’ll hook you up in LA
raymi says:
headline on my blog?
Lenny Plotz says:
yup
raymi says:
im gonna put this convo on my blog
Lenny Plotz says:
thanks for the warning
raymi says:
always be aware of speaking to the raymi
raymi says:
did u ever read any of those articles i sent you that i wrote?
Lenny Plotz says:
yes i did
raymi says:
which ones
Lenny Plotz says:
all of them
Lenny Plotz says:
did u read the article i sent u?
raymi says:
yes i did
raymi says:
the one u just sent now?
Lenny Plotz says:
just now?!
raymi says:
yes i read fast
Lenny Plotz says:
yup
raymi says:
so what are you doing today, real work wise?
Lenny Plotz says:
i’m hanging with matt we’re working on a film idea. also i have to run to pasedena for a tca party
raymi says:
is your film idea a secret? can i be in it because i am extremely funny
Lenny Plotz says:
guess you didnt read the article after all!
raymi says:
well i read half of it
raymi says:
it got boring super fast, i read the part about you
Lenny Plotz says:
ya my film is about a slutty chick who is obsessed with god.
Lenny Plotz says:
you’d be perfect, guess what part im playing?
raymi says:
who is playing her
Lenny Plotz says:
haha
raymi says:
god?
raymi says:
no im not into religion, i’d rather play her annoying sister or friend who belittles her every chance she gets
raymi says:
i am too fat to be slutty these days sorry man
Lenny Plotz says:
thats u doing kareoke
raymi says:
yes
raymi says:
i only sing songs by jews
raymi says:
oh and madonna
Lenny Plotz says:
shes a jew now
raymi says:
pretty much, lunatic though
Lenny Plotz says:
everyone’s a lunatic
