strange.

please wear red PLEASE!

dear raymi

p.s. check out YOUTH GROUP i think you might like them!

i have to be ready by three o’clock so this means i have to have a bath and be ready and finish sewing my retarded felt/corduroy creation for carla even though i can’t feel my fingers and my left thumb is oozing stuff out of it and if i prick myself with a needle i will bleed way more and i think that she will just give it to the dogs to destroy maybe not i will tell her to sell it on ebay.

i keep thinking the pierce thing is a zit or scab so i try to pick it a lot.

today i went outside, fil made me. he said that if i don’t go out and write at least one scene for the script then he is coming home late and i said YOU THINK NOT COMING HOME IS A PUNISHMENT!?!? so i met up with pierre in the market and watched him do laundry. on my way there i bumped into my cousin which was funny cos we’re kind of similar, loner types, arty strange whatever and he was alone taking fotos of stuff i was like hey and he was like hey and i told him about the blogger party and tried to get him to skip class but he wouldn’t.

on my way to meet pierre i was walking by the university and thought to myself fuck, i am scared of people like, i can’t look at them during the day or speak to them, anyway it felt good to be outdoors.

i felt weird being near a learning institution it’s too boring to explain.

i live in this alternate universe where i don’t really believe that other people have jobs and do real things so i never remember what their job is and like even hearing about work makes me feel tired.

we went to american apparel to get the new vice and pierre was convinced that the girl who i asked about the magazine was making fun of me and so i went on a good ten minute tirade about having worked for them in NYC and how she is some strangely half good looking chick working for american apparel and called vice “stupid” like hello if it wasn’t for that stupid magazine you wouldn’t have a fucking job cos no one would give a shit about cotton tank tops and slouchy socks and whatever what nerve! anyway i wasn’t even convinced she was dissing me in my mind she thought i was extremely cool and she was flirting with me.

then we went to soundscapes holy hipster day anyway i never go in there and enjoy myself cos of the snooty music nerds who ignore you and they do a pretty good job at making you feel bad for buying music there someone should really say something to management anyway i bought the new cardigans cd and was sitting on a ladder listening to it when pierre rolled in from the bank and i said can you tell that i am putting out the coolness vibe cos i am! anyway i think that i screamed it cos i had headphones on.

then we ate at sneaky dee’s and had some beer and talked about a bunch of stuff.

oh yeah i also said YEAH WELL SHE IS JEALOUS THAT I HAVE A BLACK FRIEND AND SHE DOESN’T about that american apparel girl.

raymi says:

to become as successful and massively important as i am you have to 1. get people to be obsessed with you as much as you are obsessed with yourself 2. be extremely defensive and arrogant 3. be funny and manipulative and original

raymi says:

there’s more but i can’t think of the word right now.

raymi says:

oh you have to come across as smart

jess – DEFO! says:

yes.,…. it’s like blogging isn’t about writing but is a cult of personalities

raymi says:

exactly make people think fuck i want to be like that or i want to be friends with them

raymi says:

being attractive also helps but isn’t necessary

jess – DEFO! says:

so it’s like a star system, like people wanna be brad pitt, but it works even better with blogs cos bloggers are random people

raymi says:

yeah, bloggers don’t get enough credit

raymi says:

but also it’s like fuck bloggers you are just some dweeb in your den on a computer FUCK OFF

raymi says:

so you are allowed to take yourself seriously only sometimes

jess – DEFO! says:

yeah but like, and im sure youll admit to it, sometimes u wanna be like FUCK MY READERS but you come back to them… okay like do u think you owe anything to your readers or is blogging just for you or something u’d do even with no readers?

raymi says:

i do it for me then my friends then my people, if i think of something funny i go FUCK THIS IS FUNNY I HAVE TO WRITE THAT DOWN

jess – DEFO! says:

but like why do you think you NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN?

raymi says:

but yeh sometimes i am like fuck everyone, it’s my compulsion so it’s my thing and people just happen to be reading it so what

raymi says:

oh cos i am confident enough in it to know that it is humorous so other people should be aware of some dumb thing that happened at the supermarket. this world is full of crap and sadness so a few fluffy posts here and there, why not eh?

for valentine’s day for fil i put on a pair of high heels, walked into the kitchen and said here look happy valentine’s day this is your present. then i knocked over a glass of red wine and it smashed all over the floor and i watched him clean it up while i lay there on the couch chastising him for not making me feel less guilty about it. his jumbolaya was totally fucking insane and hot and i got some spice into my thumb wound and lost my mind over how painful it was. we watched a program about penises and breasts too.

i’m going to see if i am able to sew now cos it is the middle ages and this is how i pay for food, making deformed felt creations and yeah.