read about how i went crazy on LAist.com

drunk opening up post 2006

i just wanted you to consider the possibility that i hated you and i wanted you to recognize the probability of me getting it, knowing i’m your fucking monkey, knowing what a fucking sideshow-act our friendship is.

you think i take this as seriously as you? you think i don’t know what a novelty i am to you? you think i AM laughing along with you, whilst chatting online ha ha ha i’m so funnily vulnerable ha ha ha i’m the whipping boy again how tres chic am i yet again, please please point out the things i say and do more, more, more please like i carefully haven’t scripted it all myself cos i certainly don’t get it thank you anon. comments – thanks far away st. john’s nobodies thank you for setting shit straight for me nothing nobodies who get it more than i thank you for telling me my necklace is not the right length you tried to deal long enough but now you realise it’s too long therefore axe it raymi, no goods sorry.

here you 1. fuck you

2. you read my blog you are less than fuck all nothing to me, please oh please tell me again, how i am indebted to you, the everything i say and do bullshit

anyway i can’t help but feel like i have earned the right to be above and beyond the realm of political anything the fuck correctness anymore seeing as i can barely type/ see/ comprehend shit anymore – less than two weeks ago when i was prattling on about natives whateverthefuck someone was all bla bla raymi you should feel responsible etc etc etc all of a sudden people are taking me seriously?!!!?!? um perhaps maybe 4/100 of you fucktits care what i have to say, over 6 years running and all of a sudden i am being accounted for!? uh weird.

funny how all this shit came about when fuckhead matthew good left/right-wing baby diapers bandwagon political gayfaces turned onto me – not dissing my friend matt in any shape or form jussayin he’s got a lot of right winger/teenager jealous obese stalkers on his tail who can’t help but make message community boards dissing people who so much as look at him and it makes me want to rip my hair out and set it on fire how angry i get, like, FUUUUUUCK, fuck, FUCK! there was like 7 pages dedicated to me, ME! it was totally flattering and annoying at the same time.

especially since i was being ripped apart by fat pimply fucks born in 1989 um hi give me your address so i can meet up with your mom so she can eat my vagina cos obvs. she’s a hot MILF seeing as you are ten seconds away from your placenta former self yet YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT MATTHEW GOOD TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME WRITE ABOUT ME MOOOOOOOOOORE I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT SORRY HE TOOK AN INTEREST IN MY WOOOORK I’M SORRY HE IGNORED YOUR GRADE 8 PICTURE YOU PAINTED OF AN OWL TOTALLY MY BAD ABOVE AND TOOOOTALLY BEYOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok nite before i write something i can’t take back.

xo.

ps. the showin love graphic was A JOKE as in I KNOW IT’S TACKY AND I AM USING IT ANYWAY AND IF YOU DON’T GET IT CONSIDER YOURSELF TOTES NOT 1. MY FRIEND 2. COOL

that is all.

today’s theme of dress is inspired by autistic tennis player babysitters.

i ate finally. subway “tuscan” chicken. the guy who served me was super nice unfortunately the other sandwich artist serving a complete fucking cunt british lady either had listening problems or a language barrier and i felt bad for him and super pissed at the uptight fat-ass screaming about lettuce and then tomato, lettuce, then tomato. i timed my cut-eye for everytime she looked over her shoulder at me also my order was finished FIRST HA HA HA and i was 2/3 thru it by the time she sat down to eat (i ordered the 6″) anyway, what the fuck do you expect, wolfgang puck style service from subway?

i am going to smell like mayonnaise for the rest of the day now.

anyway when i was 15 i gave my resume to a subway in my town and like a month later i get a call but they ask for my dad cos i had him listed as a reference, my dad gets on the fone and subway manager is all trying to convince my dad to BUY THEM OUT as in HI I OWN A SUBWAY! my dad’s like NOOOoooo thank you.

and then two years later when i already have a job at the hardware store i get a call from them asking if i would like to come in for an interview. ??? uh don’t you think you would make a point to LOSE my resume after my dad shot you down and not to mention the fact that you used my resume as a resource for cold-calling potential buyers of your soon-to-be-failing business and NOW two years later you are desparate for employees so you’re getting around to calling me now like i have been sitting around NOT having a job for the past two years? uh FUCK YOU.

i am wishing that i bought extra food yesterday so i could eat some right now i am distracting myself with pointless tasks so i don’t have to leave the apartment to get food and i have been awake since 8am it is like 2:30 and i have eaten nothing except espresso and orange juice and i think that i actually lose weight or feel skinnier after a nite of steady boozin’ but after nites sans booze i am like EXCUSE ME WHY DO I WEIGH AS MUCH AS A GOLF CART?!

it’s true, i have the worst eating habits EVER and i am a lazy piece of shit.

anyway the other nite before me and fil, uh, started hugging, i was like HEY FIL ARE YOU GETTING READY FOR YOUR BIG MOMENT!?!?! and he’s all “big moment”? and i’m all SORRY I MEANT 45 SECONDS.

ahahwlfdmesfekuahahahha!

ps it would be awesome if i washed my face before passing out at nite so i don’t have to go through an entire box of q-tips every week getting all the shitty mascara out of my eye crevices.

pps i think i am losing my vision that, or i am losing my mind OR i am dyslexic, that’s all.

connie WHATTHEFUCK chung

mmva dramalamadingdong

if anyone has farticle suggestions for me to write in the vein of stupid/funniness please submit them via email: raymitheminx@gmail.com

i will mail the winner a personalized present and it will be fucking awesome.

THANK YOU FOR THE FUCKING DORMANT TROJAN VIRUS WHOEVER GAVE IT TO ME I AM VERY VERY HAPPY SPENDING 1.5 HOURS ON HOLD/TALKING WITH INTERNET PEEPS ON FONE/SEARCH AND DESTROYING THE VIRUS TO HAVE MY ACCOUNT UNSUSPENDED IT WAS THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE TO SPEND MY MORNING _AMAZING_SUPER_FUN_funfunfunfufnfufnfufnfufn !!!