she’s kind of like a DUH boner but oh well i have feared and ogled this meanie for a long time. i could go on and on about how awesome she is but really is there a point? bitchy rich privileged airheads (the one she plays on 70s show) are the best cos they make it sting for no reason and they flip their hair and eat cotton candy and live in a sparkly purple castle in the clouds FOR REALS!
she had me at you’re stupid.
she’s like this cute little ant in a polyester pantsuit and for added nerd jerkoff material she’s the voice of family guy’s meg. all you have to do is close your eyes and let her read from the yellow pages for about two minutes and you are like UGHH UNNNGH UUUUUNNNNGH SPLOSION!!!!!!!!!!!!
i would totally let her be alone with fil and pee with the bathroom door open so i could hear her say mean things to him and i would be like trickle tickle trickle SWOON.
i hope she gets typecast as jackie 4EVR! i would carry her around on my shoulders and take her out to beat up people i hate or we could travel back in time and hate on people together like the player hater’s club.
i keep coughing i keep coughing up phlegm and there’s some sort of summer camp children thing happening in the park and they are very loud.
so it wasn’t a vibrator they found in andrea’s bag it was a bunch of candy, whatever. that racist brandi chick is gone GOOD!
i bought these feta spinach pie things and they were gross it was like rotten grass shoved into nice little pastries with sesame seeds sprinkled on so we covered them in ketchup.
fil was waaaasted.
we watched brokedown palace. i like that movie a lot and i like claire danes’s ugly cry where her chin shrivels up inside itself, it’s awesome. i told fil there was no fucking way in hell i would take the heat for him or anyone and he says oh great that’s nice i would do it for you and i’m like OK PEACE! have fun in a thailand jail for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
how come claire danes and kate beckinsale got wicked ass haircuts and all the other prisoners got their heads shaved?
THINGS I LIKED, USE TO LIKE, NO LONGER LIKE, NEVER FUCKING LIKED of the week:
- red hot chili peppers, the band. hi every song sounds the same who are you green day? when you sing all i hear is berrruLLLL blerrr brulll tongue rolling gayness and wank chicka wikka clicka wikka wikka crap you peaked at that roller coaster song you can’t top it so stop.
- wine gums. hello? where’s the wine? where’s the gum? you come in a tiny-ass package so that if opened in the presence of two other people you are gone in ten seconds, you are guilt-candy, where people feel obligated to eat you because you’ve been around forever and the queen is all about you and you taste like I AM SIXTY YEARS OLD. fuck off.
- silly putty. newflash YOU ARE NOT A MIRROR STOP MAKING BACKWARDS IMPRINTS OF STUFF I DON’T EVEN LIKE FAMILY CIRCUS NOT-BACKWARDS WHY DO I WANT TO LOOK AT IT AGAIN WITH BACKWARDS LETTERS?
- people who suck at tic-tac-toe. seriously dude, you suck. and now i think you are more stupid than before how do you like that? i’m putting my X in any of the corners and you’re going to take the middle AGAIN cos you think the outcome will be different? IT WON’T! you’re a) going to fuck yourself over or b) make it a cat’s game and fuck us both over for the next five minutes LIKE IT’S FUN – IT’S NOT so lets play SOS instead.
- guitar feedback. hi are you cool or pleasing to the ears? oh wait i know! the person who is making you is entertaining THEMSELF ONLY and it is all very clever and hysterical to ONE person, wicked. hey guess what, i am not going to pay to see your next show asshole bye!
- windchimes. for reals, i am going to strangle you then i am going to tangle you! what are you a marionette? no? THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT!
fil is a girl, he really likes canada’s next top model, so do i. we like it better than america’s version cos the girls are ecclectic beauties not carbon copies of each other, they’re REAL. i have a feeling that that beyonce girl and the one with zits on her chin discover a vibrator in that skinny one’s suitcase, based on the preview. i can’t wait to find out tonite. anyone who leaves comments saying the canadian girls are ugly you will be 1. banned 2. told the fuck off.
i hope sisi wins cos she’s retarded and talks the best secret shit about everyone and her left eye is preactically on her forehead and i wish she was my friend. i thought i saw the zit chin one in the back of a cab the other day while fil and i were going to get booze and i told fil and he went UUUUUUAAAAAAGH!! and practically broke his neck trying to see but the cab was already gone. i am in a good mood today i feel like there might be a wine success story on the horizon as in i will drink wine and toast myself to my good mood and well, yeah. i came up with WINE SUCCESS when i was taking a crap and ideas on the toilet no matter what they may be always seem to be really good ones.
we saw superman returns last nite and i take back everything bitchy i previously said about it – drugs nor booze were necessary in the watching of this film. however, before it started we were subjected to 15 straight minutes of the same four fucking adverts it was like that snl movie theatre sketch where they get locked in the theatre and have to watch days and day’s worth of ads and the music says THANK YOU FOR COMING TO LOEW’S, DON’T BOTHER TRYING TO ESCAPE, THE DOORS ARE LOCKED FROM THE OUTSIDE!!!! and people resort to cannibalism v. funny.
