i’ve decided there should be a raymi forum or messageboard so you guys can zing each other over there and post pictures of girls crapping on themselves and have avaters and fight over how racist and drunk i am, i’ll keep comments here of course but you know what i mean? there are a hundred thousand directionless messageboards out there and i figured a raymi one would make sense, so i need someone to help me with this, if you know anything at all about that sort of thing and to make it pretty looking please get at me also i will require a few moderators ie people who have close to zero life outside of the internet and are interested and desire the messageboard power and will take it seriously. i of course would also moderate/admin. shit but i can’t be expected to babysit all the time so yeh, email me raymitheminx@gmail.com and then if you know about peeps advertising on it so i can be rich that would be sweet. bye.
so sarah asked me yesterday when i was going to do my stand-up thing and i was like well i told everyone i was gonna do it then i broke down and released my precious material and ZERO people laughed but i guess i’ll give it another go so i said ok here i go and i opened my mouth and she busted into laughter straight away and i’m like sarah i haven’t even made a joke yet and she’s all well i think it’s funny.
noel liked my take on spiders at least. i will also have one minute devoted to THE SHIT I SAID FIRST where i say a bunch of stuff and then i say NOW THAT CONCLUDES THE SHIT I SAID FIRST PORTION OF MY SET.
then i talk about powerpoint. then i’ll do my i don’t give a care spiel and have a slideshow of pictures of people and talk about how much they don’t give a care then i’ll discuss how witty i think i am and the specific origins of my wit until someone heckles me and i go into a shame spiral in a bathroom stall untill someone brings me some blow.
everytime i am watching a movie with fil and she’s innit i turn to him and witchily accuse him of having a fucking crush on her a hundred times and by the end i am so psychotically irrationally jealous i want to jump through a wall of fire i mean a fucking brick wall, AND it’s on fire so i am ensured to get all fucked up from the bricks and then set on fire for additional pain.
anyway this bitch is scary and i like that, you can’t tell if she has down-syndrome or like a higher essence of beauty that the rest of us lumpheads haven’t discovered yet.
her voice drives me a little crazy too – it’s all deepish and highish at the same time, and she seems to be really smart and if i met her i would lose the chip on my shoulder immediately. in that winter movie with will ferrel she’s sitting on her windowsill in her underwear and a t-shirt after a nite of coke and her scaggy theatre friend comes over and tries to kiss her and she says PLEASE LEAVE and he does and i swear to christ my vagina opened up like one of those venus flytraps in little shop of horrors. she also seems like a big drinker and we all know my fondness of le drink and girls who swim in sauce i would totally let her punch me in the face and then stand there laughing and pointing at her like i “get it” all the while my teeth are busted.
also, i bet if she walked in a room and someone was shooting up she’d be all i don’t give a care and eat some skittles and watch the tube like her grandma was on her way over.
sometimes her hair is all crazy cave lady junky-looking and i’m like ps. can i live in it? ok this is getting borderline stalky now bye.
tell me something better to bump into whilst on shrooms, knee-deep in overpriced beers, sunshine and girls in h&m dresses, fuckin’ tell me!
ping pong remix
if you value your time as much as i don’t, watch this. it’s that usher song you know that goes bwing bweeg bwung bweeeng and there are lazer beams and stuff except it’s little boys dressed in drag. DO IT. i think white privileged kids are what 2006 is all about, they’re pretty good dancers.
if you don’t like diarrhea don’t get a caramel iced espresso large.
ever get that feeling that you just saw someone you knew way back when and then you sort of convince yourself that YES that TOTALLY was herb from grade 3? i think that shit happens cos your subconscious is lead by your pathetic heart and desire to connect with someone, something, anything familiar i dunno, the need to exist in a constant mystical state of what things were like when you could barely tie laces.
>Dear Raymi, > >I finally got your book today. > >The honesty of it just kills me. That is all I can really say. I have many people in my life suffering from depression; my dad suffered from alcoholism as well as depression, and it gives a lot of honest insight into what depression really is, and what it does to people. Fuck self-help books, your book doesn’t tell you how to manage things, it tells you what everything is like, mindset you have, everything. It is a vulnerable book in the way it is so honest. I know that sounds really gay but that is the feeling I get from a lot of it. Defeated and vulnerable, yet at the same time the reality of everything is just thrown at you without any fancy adjectives or what have you. It isn’t ‘let’s dress up a mental condition and tragic life events and form them into a romantic story that kids everywhere will aspire to emulate’. > >I don’t have to tell you what your book is, as so many bloggers have already reviewed it. But I am really greatful for it, and am giving it to my boyfriend to read because he is depressed and won’t admit it. I think maybe once he reads it he will be able to see a lot of himself and realize that maybe he needs to come to terms with some things and possibly get help if he wants to. > >Thank you. >Brianna
