so to celebrate my new hair i of course had to dress like the biggest whorejob ever last nite – push up leopard print bra sticking out of that dress i’m wearing and brown checkered knee socks and wedges and black hair and a lot of makeup and then i sang karaoke and did stripper moves on the mic stand whilst singing take me out.
i will NOt be going back to that pub for another three months AT LEAST.
Patrick:
i thought your post was real
so you can hack on me now instead of later
me:
which one
my poem?
havent checked comments yet
Patrick:
no the dead uncle one
i wrote you an email saying if you needed to cancel we could
me:
oh my god u got dead uncle out of that??
nice interpretting
Patrick:
dead uncle
grandpa
whatevera
me:
oh my god
i mean
Patrick:
shaddup
me:
u interpretted death
Patrick:
look
me:
u are SO EMO
Patrick:
at 1st i thought it was a joke
me:
SO EMO
Patrick:
and then i noticed
me: EMO
Patrick:
there were no comments
me:
are u crying right now too
Patrick:
so maybe it was the real thing and you were at a funeral
fuck off
me:
thats cos they hadnt been moderated
are u mad
Patrick:
no
me:
ok
EMO
Patrick:
how does that make me emo
me:
i dunno
just does
Patrick:
all i wrote was if you can’t make it to the game i understand
the **** isnt all that matters
me:
only emo people understand
Patrick:
so how is that emo
fuck you
me:
HHSHAHAHAAHAAAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Patrick:
SHADDUP!!
i’m writing a poem
me:
HAHAHHAHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
about crying?
OH SWEET MERCIFUL WOE
SOMETIMES YOU COME
SOMETIMES YOU GO
alienate my alienation of the putrification of our struggling nation (hahaa)
ohohfhjgf hahahaha
this is hard
hard OH HARDNESS OF HARD
WHY DIDN’T I MAIL MY UNCLE THAT CARD
my moods they doth sway
swaying gently in the hay
though the hay be not of gold but of dark shadows on the plane
and the winds they are BITTER and they are full of STINGERS
fuck i forgot how hard it is to be unjustifiably emotional i want to punch myself
Patrick:
nice dress
me: it is the essence of my life
Patrick:
that and oxygen
good call
well i couldn’t convince outlaw of pony rides at the wedding
but we got a martini bar
so two bars all night long
me:
ooooooooooooooooooh
open bar?
Patrick:
you have to ask?
of course
you will not leave hungry or sober
me:
nice
i want to bust out of the dress like the seams and zippers splode
then i can sue your wedding
Patrick:
you can do that?
me:
we’ll see
Patrick:
no i mean sue my wedding?
me:
and i mean WE’LL SEE
because i don’t trust myself to take a picture of the dress right now cos i have dye all over my head here is a picture where the red scribbles represent tiny perfume bottles and confetti and other super girly gay shit please don’t be surprised if i 1. marry this dress and 2. this blog turns into a tribute to my new dress blog also 3. maybe i should buy another dress i mean the same dress but x2 so one dress is for important grown-up functions and the other one is for being wasted at 3am sitting on a curb wearing busted flip flops and crying.
warning this video may cause you to weep and sigh deeply.
I LOVE YOU GATOR CALL ME
giggly girly post alert:
ooooh i just bought my dream dress for the three upcoming weddings i will take a picture of it. i also bought blue/black hairdye yep i’m going back to the dark i can’t commit to this red business anymore cos my hair looks way too greasy the days i don’t wash it even when it isn’t cos of my roots so i hope you enjoyed my reddish hair while it lasted.
i want to draw a hundred pictures of myself with my new dress on i think i will.
oh and here is a photo of my mom and my brother:
now let us all formally say goodbye to my hair:
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did
fucking beautiful.
