voting begins this afternoon sometime please select me for best diarist though some of you are being little bitches about me running against dooce and i thank you for your positive support THANKS GUYS TOTALLY MOTIVATING!
this is probably the first time in my life i am attempting something when there is a distinct possibility i will lose and instead of cheering me on you guys are all OH NO oh nonononono OH FUCKING NO. shame on you.
typically if i know i will not come out #1 i don’t bother with things, i give up before even trying but not this time INTERNET no way!
in grade eight i was on the cross country track team, i know, hard to believe, but it’s true, don’t worry there was plenty of not-running involved once the teacher jogged passed and then i fake-ran once she came around again telling me to KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. three times a week i went to school an hour earlier to run 5k thinking this is some little club and had zero intentions of going to the track meet at the end of training, so, the morning of the meet i was lying in bed exclaiming that i was NOT FUCKING GOING TO SCHOOL TODAY and it dawned on my mother that i was suppose to be doing something that day ie track competition and she forced me out of bed to school to the meet and we ended up placing first place, the grade 8 girls. i don’t remember what i placed individually but had i not gone our team wouldn’t have been first place.
Phil: lucky i want two ultimate burgers right now please
me: haha
Phil: look im trying to be nice and calm, just give me two nice juicy cheesy ultimate burgers please RIGHT FUCKING NOW
me: do u want me to fedex them
Phil: THATS NOT FAST ENOUGH STOP BEING A FUCKING PUSSY AND GO PICK THEM UP AND THEN BRING THEM TO ME IN A FUCKING TAXI BEFORE I KILL EVRYONE I SEE
me: WOAH AHAHHAHAHAHHAa
Phil: wow ok sorry i lost my cool should i go to burger king and have a breakdown? and sit there surrounded by quad-stackers crying and eating tempting, i know…
two things i neglected to mention from last nite: (oh yeah we went to a leafs game)
1. some drunk old guy said that i LOOKED LIKE CHRISTMAS and instead of coming up with a witty remark i said something DANGEROUSLY uncool instead which was THANKS I LOVE CHRISTMAS. and it is also an outright lie.
2. i pretty much black-out sang don’t tell me by madonna at karaoke AND i let the host make RAYMI IS CRAZY jokes about me before and after like he always does and hit the fart samples and i did not even flip out at all.
ps. somehoe my flickr account was upgraded to pro how did that happen is it because i am now the most famous person in the world? awesome.
congratulations on your win over canadian bloggers. now you should have the losers carry you on one of those thrones that kings always had people carry them around on. then have them pay tribute… like cupcakes and booze. Then you can begin a slow spiral into true madness and abuse your power until a small, quirky but determined task force is sent despite overwhelming odds into taking you out. I’ll direct, you star.
this kid is like my little protege except i never asked him to be and he sends me a message every three months describing his life in infinite detail and i don’t read it. today out of an act of kindness i have decided that he can be my NEW token orange-haired friend (sorry ward). so the position for boy orange-haired friend is taken, dudes. sorry. he is fully copying my life and what i consider to be a d-class stalker and don’t ask me what that is cos i cannot explain it.
right now i am depressed because fil is too busy to discuss hamburgers with me.
