click for larger desktop wallpaper wank-off version. notice what i am holding and you can also slightly make out a photo of my nana and papa dressed as santa/mrs. claus on the tv haha.

i must say i was quite unimpressed with yesterday’s episode of the facts of life. here is a shitty synopsis: this princess attends the school who is a runaway from other various boarding schools, her parents neglect her bla bla she’s basically blair warner the resident rich snob whose parents also neglect her anyway, this princess chick is all set to run away again cos that’s what she does and there’s this beautiful predictable build-up to when one might rightly assume blair would catch wind of this princess runaway bitch, take her aside and be all I UNDERSTAND YOU and how lovely and cheesy that would be, and does it happen? NOOOOOOOO.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOO

fuck.

it ends on this campy everyone awake in pajamas gathered in the kitchen note. totally not fair.

i wish i was alive when this show aired originally and that i was a writer on it, producer, something, it would still be airing today i’m sure.

the end.

can someone please explain to me this owl phenomenon? who started it, when, where, and why? why is the owl now the hipster girl mascot? did i miss something? is it cos of emo dorky nerdyness? um night vision? i don’t get it. i see bling necklaces and owl prints everywhere and i don’t know why. is it a joke? i mean i get the whimsical owl vibe a la wind in the willows secret molehipsterhill business but mostly it is like yawn don’t force your owls on me, sister.

hmm i just thought about it some more maybe it is because they are like cats but with chicken bird legs so then they are like the ultimate cat that could destroy your face and fly away? this is hard, deciphering hipster culture is HARD because inherently it does not make ANY FUCKING SENSE.

remember when platypus’ were in? why? they’re ugly dude. no they’re not some have tried to defend them to me, oh, they’re not? and how is that what the fuck is wrong with you you’re just jumping on the platypus bandwagon and you don’t even know the reason why. ok they’re not totally ugly but they’re not exactly cute and cuddly either.

look at that:

do you want to hug THAT!?

are you a duck or a beaver MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND PLATYPUS!

my cousin had one on her bed amongst other stuffed animals when we were little and i was all WHAT IS THIS? she goes A PLATYPUS. i go A PLATYPUS? WHY? WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS? she goes COS IT’S CUTE. uh huh. NO IT’S NOT. YES IT IS she says.

end of discussion.

i wish i could go back in time and have that conversation again.

who the hell decided the platypus was cute, marketed them like mad and people bought them all up? i want to meet this person. people are fucking stupid and this gives me hope, one day i will market some retarded animal, deem it fashionable and you will all have stuffed animals of something equal to a naked mole rat on your beds.

ew.

sometimes a real life platypus might be huggable but as a stuffed animal they are BORING DULL ZZZZZ to look at AND they are horizontal. horizontal is mega-dull, if you want to be interesting you canNOT be horizontal to the ground, those are the rules.

ps. NICE NAME. ass.

Sabrina: my mom has always been into owls because she is superstitious and i think that stupid hipsters collect shit like that–that means something to the baby boomers and they mock it

Sabrina: hahahaha

merkley and i were just arguing over who has less friends, something we talk about at least once a month, and, while i do have friends i feel like i don’t have real friends like the friends i have they have other friends that they hang with more frequently than me you know call each other daily how are you doing type friends where with me it’s more transient and i guess i am jealous of the former, the only friends i seem to be capable of attracting are annoying sucky boring hangers-oners types, ones that are the complete opposite of reliable and have absolutely nothing to offer (lise i am not talking about you heh). cos lise is a friend that has other REAL FRIENDS. so is sharpie. i guess i am referring back to when i lived in oakville and sauga perhaps.

days when you are completely sucky and depressed you want a friend to just completely distract you from it but then turns out your friend is beyond incapable because they are waaay more depressed and they just make you feel worse these types fucking annoy me, cos when i am moody i suck it up and seclude myself until the wave is over, i don’t want to infect anyone with that shit. i have depression pride i suppose like yeah i’m a miserable mess but no one has to actually witness it, that’s just selfish.

so days when i do need to hang i end up not hanging cos i know i will not be good company, then other times when i am unsure of my emotional stability i wing it and meet up with someone and then go into a sadness spiral cos they did not measure up to my fun standards.

you see, this is going to sound so self-righteous ungh, people like me “bipolar” people such as i, are extremely talented when it comes to having fun and making jokes and laughing 95% of the time, those times are very high, but the remaining 5% is totally low in comparison, while for a “regular” “normal” person that 5% would be a typical day you know, satisfactory, but to me/us it is complete anguish, sort of.

someone will be like what’s wrong and you are like OH EVERYTHING and OH EVERYTHING means some minor thing that happened two weeks ago you are finally blowing up about and then after going over every single minute detail for 2 hours you feel all better but still your day is tainted and 95% fun-time will not be happening.

this concludes friday’s bipolar manic depression lesson.

i should compile a best of writing about having no friends posts and make a drop-down menu for them and then people can leave me comments saying always HEY IM YOUR FRIEND when i bring it up but then it goes back to normal them not being my friend calling, writing etc like um no you are not my friend actually

i made gin and san pellegrino w/ cucumber drinks last nite and i am making up for it now i was having one of those dehydration dreams where i am drinking from a gallon of store-bought going to the cottage water jug then i woke up and thought mmm san pellegrino would be so refreshing right now SO TOTALLY WRONG so to make up for it i chugged some two day opened coke, v. bad idea. now i have this acid reflux nausea bullshit and i am still pretty thirsty but i think i will wait til i feel normal again before drinking anything else.

yesterday i exchanged that ugly shirt for a skirt and new tights these girls were all OMG whatever happened to just plain regular black tights meanwhile i am clutching white with black polka dotted tights, i was crouching down and they were standing above me at the socks/tights kiosk and i guess felt superior, but then i stood and was a thousand feet taller and they immediately became very humbled and stopped talking.

with our hmv certificate i got the cat power cd, office space and lock stock and two smoking barrels dvds, i also grabbed hulk cos it was only 7.99, fil is going to return it he says though i bet he will eventually succumb to comic book super hero temptation and open it.

puberty what’s that?

movie theatre wii sports

unicycle dance

gross alert too drunk

raymi: i want to dye my hair

fil: no i like the colour that it is

raymi: you don’t even know what colour it is right now i just want a change i want a white stripe in my hair like rogue

fil: ew no you’ll look like an old lady

raymi: i already AM an old lady nobody likes me anymore not even you

fil: …

raymi: thanks for confirming that with silence

i think that i will draw george clooney next i figure the majority of my readership are cougs who would like to masturbate to a drawing i did of george clooney, no? samir said i need to do bigger portraits so i bought bigger canvases i am going to do some massive ones eventually, i am aiming for a spring art show this time I MEAN IT.

i am pissed off cos i wrote this funny little anecdote about how fil and i are taking turns correcting each other and he said it made him look stupid yet he is allowed to make me look stupid all the time on his blog. ANGRY.

from here on in i am no longer blogging about fil so say goodbye to my blog.

did anyone watch that beauty and the geek show last nite? man it is uncomfortable to watch. those girls are stupid as hell and those guys are just too too nerdy i bet it’s fake it’s just not possible to be that nerdy/dumb.