didn’t bring a hat.
we didn’t bring suntan lotion so fil used my makeup.
we didn’t bring a closet, either.
out of wine.
time to get european: beach style!
ewwwwww!
is there internetspeak for Barfing on the floor laughing, yet? BOFL?
this chick was by herself all afternoon made us feel sad.
man legs.
sigh.
dear raymi
Sorry if this isn’t my place!! I was just going to pass along that I think I identify with you and how annoying your mom can be. My mom can be the same way. She’s trying to relive (though they never existed) her young, sexy years and she scolds you like a child because that’s all she can do, but really she is just jealous, I guess. She just wants attention and hides that by being ‘motherly’. Ugh, it even annoys me that your mom tries to steal your thunder. It is a little pathetic too. Boo. And then she gets all wounded when you get annoyed like she is only trying to help, but really she is just being a bit selfish. That is my opinion, but maybe I’m just projecting cause my own mom is like that a bit. I don’t think it’s really fair how parents can be assy sometimes. They can though. I try not to get mad at my mom because this behaviour is harmless if not annoying and she is really really great for other reasons. Like really great! So I don’t fight with her like I did when I was younger. Also, it is easier because I am far away from her now and we are no longer in “competition” like she is an insecure girl friend. It is so ridiculous anyway that I/we should have to “compete” with our moms… Anyway, I related in my own way and wanted to tell you. Also, I really like your blog too! It is really entertaining!!
september 2006 fat raymi archives time
snakes on a plane review.
i am a news reporter.
the new rug didn’t last long.
ou est le bush?
some loser.
NEVER gets old.
FUCKING LOSER SETS PARKING LOT ON FIRE COS NO ONE SAID BYE TO HER
Hmm.
oh molly.
sigh penelope.
i hate football.
go away 9/11.
after dinner on friday we stopped in at labyrinth lounge for 3 dollar rum drinks, rum and cokes, taste like teenagers. no we did not plan on this 3 dollar rum adventure it was a coincidence. anyway it was a pirate party nite. i overheard one waitress say i don’t get it we are like the funnest bar in all of toronto… newsflash world! even when pirates were “hot” they weren’t that hot, or cool. the end.
hey hi how are you i heard you got a new job that’s right what is it?
oh i work in balancing now.
everything at shan is reduced to insane prices right now please help me convince fil to get these please because then he will look like this.
well except for the pointy ears. i was close to convincing fil to get a fluorescent red pair of trunks and a tube of zinc for his nose, i guess i have a lifeguard thing. ew why am i talking about fantasy lately, gross.
speaking of fantasy, this is what having babies is like how simple and clean and innocent where is my martini and where is the nanny?
oh so darling and well-behaved, richard.
no stains here.
you’re pretty advanced for 10 months, who taught you how to lean like that on that little doll pram?
what FUN! clothing at baby level so they can help choose which $200 shirt to pair with their pants. oh mindy just go wild no limits here.
yes as well as stupid and moronic and pathetic that you don’t know how to express yourself outside of a kooky played-out slogan.
i hate this store.
last time i went can’t remember with whom might have been with matt but everyone was scream-talking and in my way and rude and there is no room to get by this loud-talking flamboyant gay dude and i’m in this tiny colourful shoppe in yorkville never again.
$500 talking/singing elvis bust.
‘NOUGH SAID.
lamb apricots red onion marinade.
delicious.
my old house looks like this now.
mall-type dinner
in toronto you are either a papa ceo’s or a cora’s pizza fan, i’m a ceo’s cos of the dining atmosphere, the tv and the kooky-themed slices though the older i get the more depressing it is cos they blast cowboy movies and have the lights off in the back and you realise that their pizzas are named after dudes they wish they were but will never be and their life is pizza, fantasy, oldness, movies wait that sounds pretty awesome nevermind. i bet those chairs came from south common mall. also, papa ceo’s pizza is way better, the quality and flavour.
i want to open a pizza parlour and name my slices after my little ponies.
fil had the marlon brando.
i had robert de niro.
ten bucks even for two slices and a beer. romantic.
we took the crusts and whipped them at each other the rest of the way home.
prosciutto spinach sausage.
this isn’t depressing.
19.99 every head sucks maybe i was too loaded but it didn’t do the trick.
best lube.
yesterday was eat garbage/eat like garbage day.
tornado potato w/ jerk sauce that wasn’t AT ALL jerk sauce.
spinach artichoke w/ naan they bought from a supermarket.
mental pepper, it’s fire or weak there is no in-between when it comes to casey’s caesars ps. that place sucks. front street is so times square.
here is the part where i am telling pitt to mooch off my fame all that he can and we aren’t friends anymore if i ever hear that he doesn’t.
ok working backwards here people.
this is me getting denied by radmad to meet up. later on she calls and tries to get me and fil to go out but we were watching the fifth element (fil’s first time) and i was trying out the shittiest vibrator ever that i shouldn’t have purchased, i should have gone for the one that actually looks like a penis.
everyone bites our free beer idea it’s not fun anymore.
oh look, pitt is talking.
so’s that guy.
he’s bringing sweaty back.
free inaccurate stepcounter that made me and fil get in competition fights all the way home thanks rogers centre.
i put my hand over pitt’s mouth when he was about to heckle his signature “_____” your mommy’s calling! so he was cut off halfway through saying mommy, our entire section collectively gasped, it was magic.
quietest dudes ever. i kept waiting for the dad to turn around and say something to pitt, but he didn’t. i think they were seattle fans. also, looking at the back of people’s heads makes me wonder what the back of my head looks like so i spend the majority of the game thinking about that and hoping that it is a dream for everyone behind me to take in.
12 o’clock ghetto bar beers waiting for pitt crabbiness.
