look it’s that stupid kid (grey cardigan,right) who drags his mom out to bars and parties and other ridiculous shit in toronto and he’s only 12 or something. sad.
his poor mother, i wanted to go up to her son and say YOU’RE KILLING YOUR MOTHER but christie decided it was time for barfing.
i have a video of duane doing sweet child o mine and it is BRUTAL he will probably kill himself if he sees it. i haven’t been able to watch it yet. i deleted the video of me doing jewel. last nite was so stressful for me i unleashed 5 separate crappings. did anyone at least get me doing oh darling?
this is a picture i looked at earlier and decided I AM BUYING A NEW DRESS but then fil made us steak and potatos and now i am wearing a t-shirt the size of the superbowl, and there is no new dress in sight. i am also on my period.
skipped out on the clinic, i’m feeling better and i do still have an ultrasound appt. soon so i’m hoping kidneys like, fix themselves?
i’m a horrible coward when it comes to these things.
we ate nachos twice yesterday and then chinese food for dessert. i can’t eat chinese food anymore (or as chinese people might say i can’t eat food anymore), the msg or whatever that magical stuff is just doesn’t sit well with me.
i am an old delicate flower.
christie barfed four times last nite.
new term: tampwn’d as in tampon + pwn’d (as in owned).
everybody wins.
example: richard was putting the moves on michelle all night long but she wasn’t really feeling it and too polite a girl to tell him to stop, once he manouvered her trousers off he soon realised he was tampwn’d. burn on richard.
so if some french guy says to me i am acting “so toronto” and then i counter with you are acting so french, how am i the racist one and he isn’t?
more later, my blood pressure just rose in typing out that sentence.
and this all began by me asking why he and this younger dude were arguing over rock paper scissors, and then i had to open my big mouth again and say well actually there is some skill involved, it’s not just chance or luck, you are reading the person and thinking two steps ahead of them and predicting what they are going to do, which then of course lead to an argument about separatism and this guy finally admitting that french people are really racist but before that i proved my point by 2 out of 3-ing this younger kid and beating him at rock paper scissors, to which frenchie calls my spiel bullshit and says i am acting very toronto, oh so cool, which i blew my top about and said he is so french which he exploded over of course and i said fuck off i’m half french don’t give me that defensive shit, oh man it got ugly, showertime.
french people are my new enemy, vancouver you are off the hook heh.
how about ok you’re not acting french, you’re just a fucking asshole?
FIL JUST FOUND ALL OF OUR “MISSING” CDS AND NOW HE IS CONCERNED ABOUT HIS SANITY I SLAPPED HIM FOUR TIMES AND PULLED DOWN HIS PANTS IM SO PISSED OMG DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES HE HAS DRIVEN ME NUTS ABOUT THESE FUCKING CDS AND THEY WERE IN THE NEW DRAWER CART HE BOUGHT FROM IKEA THIS ENTIRE TIME
so i’m not at the hospital, i’m going to a clinic tomorrow. waiting 5 hours wasn’t really appealing. we waited 2 just to see a triage nurse i took a wizz then she said 4 more hours to go to see a doctor unnngh bye.
we are in duane’s hotel room right now, christie shot-gunned a can of wine, duane’s loaded, christie‘s loaded and now we head out to some dj bar and it’s pissing rain. oh man duane‘s funny drunk. tony’s stuck in chicago we think. hahahaha.
i’m avoiding showering and getting ready cos i don’t want to go to hospital so here’s some memory lane for you, i’m thoroughly depressed now and therefore ready for hospital.
the first time i went blonde to surprise fil when he came back from a work trip, i fucked it up and had to spend 200 to have it corrected and this was the outcome, it felt too adult for me at the time so eventually added more blonde and disastered it, big mistake.
i had black hair for so long it just didn’t feel right this is moments before fil came through the door to meet us at band practise.
the following summer i chopped it all off once i dyed it dark again and fried my hair to all hell, most depressing time of my life, bob-headed and fat.
sigh.
this picture makes me very happy, i remember feeling really happy that morning, the cottage and sunshine morning and likely drunk still from the nite before.
HONEY SAY BYE TO THE KIDS GRAB YOUR COAT THE BABYSITTER’S HERE!
well duh.
everytime fil looks at that photo of himself he goes what a little retard, i cannot agree more. awwwwwwwwww.
oh how nice another email from a fan of my queef article. i get these pretty often, though this one is the most, well, you’ll see:
I don’t know how old this article is but I just had to say… that a good set of pussy farts is something to strive for. It tells me the girl is getting fucked right. When my cock is swollen nice and big and her pussy is wet and tight, lips all swollen and juicy… there’s no room inside for anything extra like air, so just hammer the fuck outta that sweet cunt and make it sing. I really like the slurping sound when you pull out and the follow up fart when you slam it back. Get her to moaning and squealing at the same time and it’s music to my ears. When she’s laying there quivering and tears a rolling, not knowing whether to cry or laugh or both and smiling from ear to ear… then you’ve done it right. Kiss those sweet lips and thank your lucky stars you got a woman who loves sex as much as you do. Cum on guys, get w/ the program.
i fought with a french dude on christmas eve, it’s a pretty good story, i’ll share it later. i’ve kind of been out of my mind since dec. 1 another not so good story i’ll share later. basically, i’m not pregnant, i did a test two nites ago cos i was nauseous for the twentieth time this month and shot up out of bed and said that’s fucking IT i want to know NOW (bought a test a week ago but it was too early to use it) so no i’m not knocked-up, there is something else wrong with me (yay!) and i have narrowed it down to my right kidney, based on how today goes, not banking on it to be too amazing, i’m going to be partying in a hospital waiting room tomorrow. we walked to winners yesterday and i was panting and out of breath and sore, maybe i have a bruised rib on top of that? dunno, but it is nearly impossible to bend over to lotion my legs or tie up shoes i have to time it to when i am exhaling and lean over slowly. i took a tylenol 2 last nite and laid on the couch. mom don’t tell dad about this and alarm him for fuck sake thank you. my kidney area has been sore for two weeks now. so all these things combined, thinking i’m pregnant essentially all month long (thanks for putting that in my head fil) xmas, and everything i have been a fucking basketcase, and of course when you get a notion like pregnancy everywhere you look and hear is something about babies holy fucking overload. when we were in indigo i was this close to having a full-on panic attack/fainting spell and was searching frantically for one of their stupid chairs to sit in but they had all been removed, nice.
