hey guys, i blew my (gift card) load at h&m after eating hangover lunch at spadina gardens (bad idea) with fil, he went to get a bike at canadian tire, on sale for 100 bucks, sweet deal and totally sweet looking ride, i am going to brainstorm all nite long over whether i should get the same one, the sale ends tomorrow, you save 200 dollars, otherwise we get my grandma’s bike from the burbs. the point of this is i have acid reflux right now and rolaids don’t do shit. the first shirt i came out of the bedroom wearing that i bought fil goes oh is that the one you’re unsure of? before i even asked, and NO it’s NOT the one i’m unsure of! do you know how many things he slams of mine? then i was walking a teeny bit huffily from the bathroom to the kitchen then to the bedroom not saying anything and he goes lauren are you giving me attitude (yes) i say no. i’m keeping this shirt to spite him i don’t care how itchy it is right now. i feel like garbage. i was pretty close to getting root beer schnapps to mix with beer (like a jager + red bull) i saw this cooking show last week the dude made one of those, then i came to my senses and got wine and some other junk, on my way out this old whimsical dude taps me on my shoulder excuse me, huh, i turn excuse me, he says here i want you to have this book and hands me a book called stunt by claudia dey i look down at it oh thanks? he says i made it i go ok thanks great, totally random. we look all over it to see what part of it he actually made and why he singled me out at the liquor store, i think it’s cos i look annex waspy crazy i guess? maybe he has something to do with the publisher, in any event i’m contacting them to see if they want to print my book. then we bumped into jason chapman at loblaws he made fun of my purchases and said oh nice prosciutto i guess i’ll see that on your blog later. dick.
this post is brought to you by i hope i don’t barf. if i ever say lets go get some singapore vermicelli or i just ralphed up singapore vermicelli, you can pull my hair and hit me. i never ever learn ever.
Jason: hahaha. the way YOU say it, it’s much funnier than when i said it. dick!
me: yeah i made you look funny well u did ask why i was in the supermarket and im like buying FOOD
Jason: haha. i thought there might be something more specific as the answer. like, we’re making so-and-so because i had a brainstorm from a tv show, or something. i dunno. i’m just as brain dead as you today.
me: dude i can barely finish thoughts let alone a fucking culinary adventure
upon walking outside into the gusty cold with my trench coat on and knit hat and dumpy boots i looked at fil and said i look like a crazy don’t i. he said yes, but it was a good thing. fine.
quick dinner at rolu.
dragon DARGON roll.
unagi maki. we also shared some yakitori, it was really slimy.
so brian who runs curve, he’s having a boy, remember that popstars reality show? he was a judge on it, i think he was like the simon, simon before simon was simon. i didn’t get a picture of him or his wife, fil did though if you care.
aw brad the sentimentalist, i wrote that ages ago and SOMEONE put eats poopy (gay) and blogs about it beneath it. i WILL find you! i bet it was gill or tiff.
when you see this face comin’ at you it’s time to go home and do it.
brad was in great form as per uje, i asked him where he got his jacket (a hooded leather jacket!) he goes uhm ah you know, LM, L&M, you know? no brad, i DON’T know.
i got red wine on my dress, not my fault! i took a sip of someone’s water bottle that had dribbled red wine all over it, then i dumped salt and soda water on the stain and sat in my stupid wet dress for the rest of the nite. the salt did nothing, just one of erin’s moves to sabotage me.
hahaha
TWO orders of nachos AND a pizza that’s how top form brad was, fuck. yet another one of erin’s sabotage moves.
i’m in brad’s office at gibson right now hangin’ with a bud drinkin’ white vino and she is FULLY BLOWING MY MIND TELLING ME ABOUT DERMOID CYCTS HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THESE THINGS!!!? now i’m pretty sure i have one too great! she basically has a golfball sized hair eyeball and TEETH lump inside her goddamn it’s the the movie the fucking gate! hang on i need another swig after that. so she was experiencing pain right where i was experiencing it for the longest time CAN YOU SAY ULTRASOUND FINALLY!
dudes, if you know what’s good for you do NOT google image search ‘dermoid cyst’ alright i’m fully going to barf later. oh and if you have one and were wanting to keep it, you’re not allowed so now we are talking about women who eat their placentas oh god you’re welcome!
the reason i’m in here is cos i’m hiding from the surprise babyshower out there and someone was cunty to me, i tried twice to insert myself in a convo then peaced out.
i’m wearing my yellow supermarket dress cos earlier today i had a power deuce and it skinny’d me right up guys! awesome!
dudes i’m booooooooooooooored talk to me in comments, ask me questions, brush my hair!
oh great and now i have cramps.
i just remembered i brought grey goose ORANGE FLAVOURED vodka it’s in my flask.
i’m going to entertain myself with old pics now
havin’ a rest waiting for fucking axl to show up the diva.
this picture makes everyone sad, the two on each end are no longer with us sigh. 2006 xmas.
so we went to the jay’s game two nites ago, we were winning the whole time ’til we left and by the time we got to the bar it was 6-3, shit.
oh well at least we sat in seats that weren’t ours.
oh and i got blogspotted too by beth, hi beth! we were sitting in the same row, when pitt and fil went to the bathroom at the same time i got to pretend like i wasn’t a totally awkward loner and made facial expressions like i was really into the game, i think she bought it.
it would have been appreciated to have a head’s up that the serving of alcohol was going to be shut down oh around the 7th inning? upon learning that it was all dried up the thirst went through us something crazy, we chewed up every single piece of gum in my purse, including the free nicorette samples.
then we went to the loose moose because that’s a gravitational pull pitt never fights, after one i said fuck this lets go to casey’s whereupon we discovered we are treated with more respect AND it’s happy hour 8-til close, monday to thursday. solid.
