after blogging for other people you don’t have any steam left to be like I SAW THAT I DID THIS THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS BLAH BLAH INSERT PENIS JOKE. ungh. oh plus half my readers were too busy memorial daying off yesterday to care about my stupid blog, like, what do you do for memorial day anyway, go through all of your memorialies, hahaaha. sigh.

i said no to going to the jays game yesterday with pitt (still hung from the weekend and had work to do) and no to the bruce macdonald movie party launch whatever (free drinks, bad idea), instead i put my face into a plate of singapore vermicelli and inhaled, then we rented dan in real life which was half shitty and half endearing with more unrealistic idealistic garbage thrown in for good measure.

and now i must depart.

speaking of pitt, i have a new irish joke, he’s a member of the CIA: CATHOLIC IRISH ALCOHOLICS.

bananasbreath!

i can’t wait to get some patio furniture for the balcony and lots of flowers ones that climb and all sorts of other gay things like BLOOM and SWAY. we have a sweet balcony and we make zero use of it, this year that is all going to change.

don’t worry, i’m sick of me too.

JUST KIDDING I LOVE ME!

here is some of MY BOOK because i love you

Jan 4 2008 11.40am

it’s ok i disapprove of you way more

yesterday was BRUTAL all day long fuzzy retard headed anyway blah blah my life is a party what else is new etcetera and so on. it was fil’s high school reunion on saturday, the organizers fucked it up tho so we didn’t actually attend anything official other than a bbq where i got cut and told everyone about how i crapped my pants once.

i ended up taking a cab to the market to meet fil and hubbo with like the only change in the world i had left and walked out the door in my short shorts like so turns out the world is your biggest fan when you dress like a mental patient and by world i mean dudes. i waited forever for a cab and thought ok maybe i’ll walk so i walk a teeny bit and every wasted guy on a patio got quiet when i went by and exploded in catcall laughter once i was a metre or so away like i can still hear you geniuses. the annex is no place for my tickle trunk outfits. it’s funny when you walk by tables of dudes and there’s one girl stuck with them and they are forced to talk shit about you just to even the playing field, sad. sorry if you weren’t such a wet blanket you wouldn’t have to suffer adulation of my behind.

evidence of hangover, and i had poutine too! me!

i also ate this yesterday for breakfast


merkley‘s book came!

what a dick. no, but really, the book is amazing and inspiring. here‘s the skinny on how you can get yourself one of these collector’s items.

i’m sad about the busted ipod, it still works, it just won’t scroll, and it’s integral to my work outs, you see i ride this shitty exercise bike for 20 minutes and i time it on the ipod by changing songs for the duration of the 20 minutes (wicked ADD bad and biking is boring as hell) and then i get off and do the row machine, anywho, how do i know when 20 minutes is up w/o an ipod how do i exercise and force myself to enjoy it without music to flail my arms to? can they fix ipods at the apple store?

this is the exact same car our friend had as a kid, his parents sold it, then he made lots of moohla, found it and bought it back.

alright more later.

this post is brought to you by i am better than you.

ps. don’t snort adderall.

fil got an american apparel hoodie yesterday, i forced him to, of course we went to winners first and of course he didn’t find one there (NEVER DOES AND NEVER LISTENS TO ME) and i suffer for his not having the proper hoodie/cardi to go with whatever t-shirt he is wearing when we are last minuting our party outfits ungh anyway, i’m sitting here in a towel trying to visit the entire internet cos i do not want to have to carry this hoodie to fil fifty million blocks away so if you have anything you want me to do now’s the time to ask.

HUG

before the long blondes we slummed at the beer station and these guys were sitting across from each other lip synching to bohemian rhapsody like fully synchronized, i loved them. oh and there was a full pitcher between them too i think they were cocked, and certainly sharing a special moment. one had really feathery hair for a dude.

sooooooooo xenia (the one who keeps dreaming about me) told me about this stuff called rescue remedy and apparently it cures hangovers, takes away booze anxiety, you know when you’re so mangled you feel like the entire universe is staring at you right down to your fucking SOUL and you don’t know what to do? well this stuff counteracts it, it’s hippie dippie homeopathic mumbo jumbo probably right? we got rightly pissed enough last nite so naturally i woke up hunglor this morning and gave her a test. i wasn’t exactly hung-hung, on a scale of one to ten hung i’da gave myself a 7, but i’m a pro by now so who knows what that would be for you, probably an 11.

here we go with the rescue remedy tour! this was 16 bucks, supposed to be 18 but the granola nerds at noah’s have been slacking in the sticker prices dept. and yes of course one chick was rude to me there what else is new, it’s not noah’s if you don’t walk out wanting to straight up murder someone.

i also tried it last nite when i wasn’t hungover or drunk maybe residual hangover from the previous nite, four drops on my tongue as we walked home and then nothing, but i did notice a change when we were driving to the supermarket, i felt pacified and stupid, a little slow, weakly tranquilized, so i guess it works. i felt like if fil ripped into a debate with me i would not be able to defend myself.

this is what i look like right now save for the dumb glasses, these pants were my safety pants last summer (already cut to the knee) and now they’re a bit baggy, l.o.v.i.n.g.i.t.

you can also put 4 drops into a glass of water, that’s dumb though, this stuff tastes like nothing.

shhh i’m scientisting.

oh i forgot to do the BEFORE picture.

yay i’m skinny and it’s gonna be a bright and sunshiney day!

uh meanwhile….

we watched this truly adorable movie last nite called bombon le chien, a movie clerk wrote on the box that it made them happy so we got it, i said ok if this dog ends up dying i’m going to be really fucking angry, fil remained optimistic throughout but i couldn’t just relax and go with it. the dog lives everyone. the story is about a man who is down on his luck, makes homemade knives, he’s out of work, lives with his daughter who is always yelling, and this man is so sweet, endearing and completely breaks your heart, i think i aww’d 100 times, anyway, he gets this dog and his luck changes, luck just rains down on him and you feel so happy cos he is so cute and deserves it. rent it if you are on your period.

i’ve been diligent (somewhat) over on jamie‘s blog if you care.

and the pitch pipe i gave brad for his birthday BECAUSE I AM THE MOST GENEROUS PERSON IN THE WORLD. it’s the same pipe my dad got me and i weighed it’s sentimentality of course and thought my dad would be happier if an actual musician put it to good use instead of my knick knack shelf.

oh and if you were trying to figure out what to do with your stupid selves tomorrow nite this band hello beautiful is playing at the horseshoe. saturday nites at the shoe is what we typically end up doing when we can’t come up with anything else to do, it’s a sure thing, then we come home and time shift catch SNL. oh and i’m not saying after you have weighed all your other options go to the shoe i’m saying, YOU’RE WELCOME FOR THE IDEA.

broken glass from other birthday partiers, we sang to brad happy birthday and they started singing along thinking we were singing to their friend and i did the slicing neck motion to them to fuck off then they approached us and said brad and this girl should be friends cos they share the same birthday, right, that’s how it works.

the moment matt left WITHOUT PAYING for his pints hahahahhaha.

gill noticed the budd clan walking by and nabbed ‘em, brad wasn’t planning on having a big PARty (nfld pronunciation) but it turned into one anyway that’s for fucking sure.

my pipes and lovely face.

gill is not going to like that i have this up, i like her hair curly, it’s like crazy meets orphan annie meets more crazy.

another budd, remember these guys? they put on the dodgeball thing.

nice ski slope i have growing out of my face much?

i was not planning on drinking this nite, just so’s you know.

my cellphone charm bit the dust so any cute scouts oot thare wantsing to replenish my phone with more cute, be my guest.

brad was flush with overwhelminity by our love and friendship right brad i think i even saw a tear at one point.

DIRTY THIRTY!