the surprise is WII FIT omg

and my decapitated legs

my dad had this to say: Hey … that’s sweet …. is that one of Mom’s dresses? It looks like one I think she used to wear. by mom he means HIS mother, i think he forgets that i am his daughter and not his sibling hahaha. well not really, it’s mostly a british thing.

we hung out for an hour in gairloch gardens before heading to the pub for fil’s mom’s bday get together. i forgot my camera, ungh. it was fil’s idea to take pictures, i totally wore him down though. we saw a fat toad. i wore granny panties and ruined a whole bunch of jumping pics with my flippy dress and total boner killer underwears. oh well next time.

ps. kathleen needs a roomie!

another pair of fil’s underwear bit the dust, what is it with dudes and sentimentality over their totally falling apart eye sore briefs? i guess i’m one to talk as i’m currently rocking a pair on their last legs.

we rode to the movie store and man was it ever exhilarating, when we got back i was like oh wasn’t that nice! to fil and he says um you didn’t invent riding bikes i said not my point, didn’t that just feel great? anyway, it brings me back, nevermind. so freeing. we rented 21 and holy shit does kevin spacey ever look like my dad.

so you know that episode of that 70’s show when they forget kitty’s birthday so they go out to the gas station and get her a balloon, a funnel, air freshener and a map, well, we recreated that shitty gift for fil’s mom last nite, no we didn’t forget her birthday, it’s actually today. haha i’m watching the part on youtube right now when she opens the funnel and red says COS I KNOW HOW YOU LIKE TO POUR THINGS. ahhahahahaahahah. they actually got her two balloons and NO car air freshener and eric suggests giving her a lighter when she starts to lose it, oh well close enough.

i went into this party store and requested one orange balloon please! practically bursting at the seams oh man oh man ask me why ask me why i want one orange balloon how wacky is that! she didn’t ask, i didn’t tell. 25 cents for a balloon by the way, a dollar 25 for it filled with helium. what a rip. by the time we left after dinner it was already deflating too.

when we were in canadian tire holding these items i proclaimed wow what an incredibly shitty gift. hysterical. when she opened it and was politely chuckling at the air fresheners i couldn’t contain myself so i explained it, we all watched the episode three weeks ago at dinner and fil’s mom said she would LOVE to get a funnel so i jabbed fil a bajillion times and made that creepy leery i am so smart open mouth lizard face like we are so going to give her that gift. her real present is play tickets ps. she thought the gift was really cute.

in grade 8 i had ESP.

how funny everyone had to fill out these imaginary high school course things and how many people dropped out entirely. ps. religion is in the grade 9 column because i went to catholic school and high school and then switched to public come grade ten thank fuck i mean jesus.

my niece made this, it’s rocky in his litter box.

my dad’s three heroes, jfk, john lennon and his father also named john.

my granpa’s old ride.

my parents, i stole this picture when i moved out at 19 and framed it even though they were separated, then i put paint on it cos i thought it was eccentric.

liz‘s painting arrived!! it’s taken from the picture i used for the cover of dear raymi. i am also baked in that photograph.

d’awwwww

desserts we got from fortino’s, mini cheesecake, portuguese custard, choc. something and raspberry crumble whatever.

oh here is something that ground my gears, stopped off at g’s to get some chips because, because i wanted them, anyway, these two white dweebs were having one of those loud show-off conversations and as i am paying the tall one with the gross beard says to his short hobbit pustule-faced companion I AM SO SICK OF BALLSY GIRLS ONES WITH UGH CONFIDENCE, I WANT ONES THAT KNOW THEIR PLACE! in my head i am exploding as i am counting out my perfect change and the woman is saying thank you, you paid, go away now basically, i lag a few secs while zipping up my purse, turn and give that guy the dirtiest look in the universe and he says AW COME ON DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT and i walk out. cos of that shooting i am trying to watch my p’s and q’s, but what i really wanted to say was YOU ARE A FUCKING LOSER or GOOD LUCK WITH THAT or rip his stupid fucking beard out. the end.

i finally put that $50 De Serres gift card to use, and for fifty dollars and 2 cents i got three new acrylic paints and 7 big canvases, thank you anita HUG hug hugsicles!

i went for an audition yesterday, it went well i think, i had a nip of white wine before we left to calm my anxiety, and then when i got there they offered me more, and there was an open box of pizza (didn’t touch that) and all the dudes were crackin’ brews, they were all hung, i was pretty ON and thought oh man i am so hilarious right now these guys love me but as more time passes and i remember every single little thing i said i am cringing away like, i want to get inside my head and SQUEEZE my brain dry that kind of cringe. i’m sure they won’t even remember the things i said that WEREN’T CAPTURED FOREVER ON CAMERA oh fuck. maybe the fact they were hung will be on my side. i wore my red pants because the other outfit i wanted to wear was too office girl square according to fil plus he hates that high waisted skirt. i figured red pants would give me an edge. ok i have to stop obsessing over this i am driving myself crazy.

anyway then we went to the beac for late lunch early dinner however you look at it.

fil used his henry’s gift certificate and got a new compact flash card, thrilling i know.

how nice of these glasses to bring out the huge what is my nose.

i am so feeling white wine this summer fyi except for when i wake up the next day like where i’m at right now.

fil’s macaroni corn flakes wtf. last time they at least crumbled them up and crisped them.

my carpaccio, the thickest i have ever had, not that it was wicked thick, just compared to other kinds.

it gushed rain just as we were finishing up our food.

the 16×20 are packs of two for 6.99 totally great deal.

big one i cannot wait to decrease the value of by putting my garbage all over.

katemossmannequinmodelingdebsoutfits updated!

How to be a drunk asshole – FUCKING GOLD MAN! LAUGHED TO FUCKING TEARS!

Best wishes from Timmy Henriksson AGE 20, ripped and handsome.

hahah hey dude i totally forgot about that article til you just reminded me thanks for re-inflating my ego ya swede! ps. i was 18 when i wrote that i guess i should write a redux to it seeing as i now have several year’s worth of experience in the social boozing dept. behind me. haha fil is laughing at me right now cos i pretty much nailed the top 5 rules of asshole drunkenness last nite, to a Tee. well the top 4 really cos i didn’t get into any physical fights.

Top 5 Rules of asshole drunkenness

1. It’s always your turn to talk

CHECKMARK

2. You are always right

OBVIOUSLY!

3. You are the most intelligent person in the room

HOLY SHIT ARE YOU A MIND READER OH WAIT I WROTE THIS SO YES YOU/I ARE/AM WHAT!?

4. Nothing you do is stupid.

NOT EVEN THE PART WHEN I DRAGGED THREE STRANGER GIRLS TO THE ROOF PATIO OF PAUPER’S TO DRINK WITH US AND TOLD THEM THEY LOOKED LIKE LESBIANS AND SAT THERE IN THE POURING RAIN HOLDING MY UMBRELLA OVER THE ONE WHO’S BIRTHDAY IT WAS OMG HI YOU GUYS.

see:

5. Know when to get the fuck out of there because you’ve offended too many people and they outnumber your drunken ass.

one more why not

so.
here i am. close to 2am. home from my b-day celebration which basically licked furry cooch, and i am stalking your blog.
maybe cuz i need a grin?
mybe cuz i need a bike tire-tube update?
whatever the case, i just want to thank you for entertaining me every day (geez, can you tell i am a freshly 34 yr old nerd who desires salty snacks and just got stuck in the rain for 1/2 hr trying to hail a f’n cab?)
anyhow. that is all.
you are a rarity, doh, ray, mi.
x

oh you are cute
im sorry it rained on your birthday party and your party sucked it’s ok at least you turned 34 instead of 35
fil will be 34 in december
we are all getting older
le sigh
at least it’s pouring right now for all those kids going to that stupid rogers picnic music festival today
hahah

kathleen came by last nite and fixed my bikes and i helped, now i know how to change bike tubes yay.

she was impressed with how intact the tires were despite the peewee bike being left out in snow and rain for many years, no cracks at all. this one was my grandpa’s and is probably from the late 70’s, it was hung up on the garage wall so no rust or anything on it really, it just needed the front wheel to be realigned and the tires pumped up.

peewee bike tubes both needed to be replaced, they were both ruptured at the valve, can’t be patched.

white wine refreshments how dainty.

one of the tubes wasn’t even the right fit for the wheel size, kathleen is using these two plastic tool things (tire irons) that force the tire out one dig at a time, i helped too. at first she was like do you want to get dirty? i said of course, i worked in a hardware store for five years and i totally miss this type of thing. sigh.

skull valve cap noel gifted me many moons ago one day it magically appeared.

that rusted stuff is tape that goes all around the rim you check it to see if there is any tear around the divots (from the spokes) then you know what damaged the tube, if there’s no tear that’s good, then you know it’s something else.

the flowers i jammed under the seat are actually a lei i bought at canada’s wonderland, the streamers were on the bike when i bought it, one of them fell off sigh. the bell works and kathleen showed me how to twist the dinger thing with a wrench so it doesn’t kill your thumb duh after all this time, and it works better.

tube.

pumping that baby up.

i am so kelly kapowski right now.

omg bikes! thanks again so much kathleen! both are running fine and smooth i may just keep them both, we’ll see we’ll see. she says my grandpa’s i could get 200 for it just the way it is cos it has working gears and the whole vintage thing too, the other one is a bit more busted but also cosmetically it is cool looking and coveted so i could probably get 150 for it oh and of course the fabulous raymi owned this mark-up.

just finished syncing my zune omgzies i love it!!

oh my god that is terrible and that outfit was inspired by roadhouse, it is especially uncomfortable to watch when you can hear the movement of my necklace and shoes ahh gah cringe.

katemossmannequinmodelingdebsoutfits was MY idea! i cannot wait til this blog explodes.