more of my amazing words

mastapowerful: i remember i tried to do a blog once
and i stole one of your stories

me: u did?

mastapowerful: i don’t know if you knew it was me

me: plagiarized it?

mastapowerful: yeah

me: !
which story

mastapowerful: i can’t remember

me: OMG u must!

mastapowerful: i think i changed one thing or something
about a bee stinging your ass?

me: you just copy and pasted it or rewrote it and made it so it happened to you

mastapowerful: it was long ago

me: oh yeah i pissed behind my old house and got stung on the ass by a bee

mastapowerful: i copy and pasted and i think changed the outcome and said it was you still
yeah that’s it

me: we were locked out of my house cos my mom was at a friends and we were playing in the garage making forts out of cardboard boxes
i cant believe out of all my stories you took that one
it isnt even funny
i dont remember ever blogging it

mastapowerful: haha

me: im putting this on my blog

mastapowerful: yeah i dunno why either
i dont think its blog worthy
maybe bog worthy

me: yes it is cos i bet it happens a lot
oh zing

mastapowerful: i found it
i just said “i got FUCKED in the ass by this bee…”
and i said you were pooing
or maybe you did

me: no it was a pee

mastapowerful: ok i said poo
poo is much more newsworthy
as is fuck

me: why would i take a dump on the grass behind my house for everyone to see
if i had to do that i would just go to someone elses house

oh and you also are not allowed to say poo or pooing. ugh SICK and what are you 2?

mbroszkowski@gmail.com: what do you mean you’re not allowed to say poo??? I say poo all the time!!

me: i hate that word
it is so juvenile and stupid
and makes me embarrassed for people
it makes me think the person has no intellect

mbroszkowski@gmail.com: I will say it more often now to spite you

me: it’s a baby word

mbroszkowski@gmail.com: It’s cute and funny

me: THEN LUNCH IS OFF

mbroszkowski@gmail.com: bahahahaha

me: it isnt cute and funny
at all
AT ALL

mbroszkowski@gmail.com: oh raymi

me: seriously the mental imagery combined with that word makes me envision shitty diapers and crap explosions and kindergarten and children
bad combo
u can say crap and thats it

mbroszkowski@gmail.com: hahaha
when I think of the word I think of some little kid saying it cutely like mommy I have to go poo

me: kids aren’t cute when they say it

mbroszkowski@gmail.com: sigh

me: they remind me of how retarded they are

mbroszkowski@gmail.com: you are too jaded

me: i am not

mbroszkowski@gmail.com: I bet 80% of the population think poo is cute

me: like when someones kid says i pooped and some asshole laughs cos they think it’s darling then everyone is forced to laugh i want to stand up and punch that first guy who laughed

mbroszkowski@gmail.com: hahahaha

me: well 80% of the population jerks off to cuteoverload
cos they are fat loners

mbroszkowski@gmail.com: poo! poo! poo!

me: GROSS

mbroszkowski@gmail.com: BAHAHHAHAHAHA

me: i am seething with rage

mbroszkowski@gmail.com: what?!?!?!

me: not really
but congrats you made my blog
as usual

mbroszkowski@gmail.com: yay!
or should I say:
poo!

me: OH SHUTUP
i can see this going too far on a future bender of ours

mbroszkowski@gmail.com: I was just thinking the same thing haha
We’ll be drunk and I’ll keep saying it and you’ll like throw your drink at me
and then we won’t be friends anymore

me: ill throw u in traffic

Steph: AHAHAHAHAAA
also 80%
NO WAY
or else im moving

me: AHHAHAHHAHAHAH

how badly does this song make you want to have a naked e party?

drunken video of this to come

don’t know how i feel about this and i’m also fretting over my cupcake painting, i HATE that i added that cherry to it, i think i’m going to paint it black (or brown) even though i made fun of how obvious a black cupcake is haha yeah cos people walk around referencing black cupcakes all the fucking time.

ate this while watching a national geographic thing on elephant, dog and dolphin births and video of them as fetuses ugh barrrrrrrf.

oh stop it.

hey guise i’m part of this family too!

i at least like it sideways.

dear raymi

do i feel bad for him? yes. is this the funniest thing i’ve ever seen? likely. if you put this up you will make everyone’s day better, because they will realize how lucky they are for not having swallowed a microphone.

this was my response to sarah:

S>KAJDFglui\fgew;ougds;vb.dfkjbv.cfkHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

and then from another angle with really stupid unfunny joke subtitles added.

so a couple weeks back the same nite we went to see a movie in dundas square after that we head over to the fox ‘n fiddle cos it’s karaoke tuesday there. we aren’t pissed but we aren’t sober either. we sit down, sass and i put our names in to sing (i choose fleetwood mac’s hypnotized, dumb move, bail on it after 30 seconds then swap it for zeppelin’s babe i’m gonna leave you, even worse move, i haven’t even been able to bring myself to watch the video yet) and each order 1 beer. so while i’m singing, matt and fil are outside smoking (matt is) and sass is filming my shit show, i finish then start filming sass’s performance of genie in a bottle and then fil comes up to me to say he is leaving and matt has been cut-off. what cut-off why? he wasn’t even drunk. this has happened to him many times before, he just has an I AM SO DRUNK face i guess, that, combined with cursing like a sailor when he tells his matt stories gives the impression of whole-hog intoxication. so anyway i’m miffed cos we’ve been gracing that s-hole for three years now, it’s way below par on the raymi coolness meter, and that’s saying a lot cos i will drink fucking anywhere. so i go to our table and we divy up the bill which made me realise ok maybe we are ripped cos it was like trying to do grade ten advanced algebra and the reason i took business math come grade eleven. anyway we take our time finishing our beers to save face while also trying to figure out why the fuck the bouncer cut matt off and i’m getting fired up about it and decided well if they diss my friend then they diss me and i am never coming back here that’s final. on our way out we have a little chat with the bouncer who seemed to regret the decision when me miss bigmouth ambles on over, i lie and say we aren’t drunk and am extra careful with my words and trying super hard not to slur (on a scale of 1-10 of blasted i’m a 5 bordering on 6, not really so bad, but lubricated enough to talk like your uncle tom on boxing day, slow and stupid and deliberate) i say um we only had one drink why are you cutting off my friend we just arrived? he says he made a decision and he’s sticking with it and he knows we go there all the time (not really, more us than matt, and that’s only occasionally and after a nite of being beyond wasted we stagger to the fox to sing karaoke) i said well it was a bad one cos i’m never coming back there and he says he’s sorry and i say basically you dissed us (oh god what an idiot line) he says no he didn’t and gestures at matt like i dissed this guy not you i say yeah by association you did and that’s insulting (fight the power!) after how many times i’ve come to this bar (i think i said this with disdain) thanks sorry man bye. then we are outside and i’m feeling like i really took one for the team and only then does matt decide to fill me in on the last time he was there and how he was gong show drunk and couldn’t even see or walk so maybe it was because of that. um that’s kinda crucial information buddy. anyway, another bar off the annex drinking list, where is next?

i would also like to add that never in my life have i been cut off at a bar, i have been swinging from chandalier style trashed performing floor gymnastics and the like and not once have i been tapped on the shoulder.