i LOVE this cat that lives next door to sharpie/samir. samir hates it.

such a friendly guy.

yep, slippers are still givin’er.

can i take you home?

just like that eh the little slut.

at this point samir’s all ew it’s all flea-ridden and ticky or something ha as if that stops me.

just a little bit meh about it.

where ya goin’ party cat?

hahahah he kept in-pace with samir’s strides for a few they’re like GET lost.

straw distraction.

peace guy.

here’s a picture of nana’s dream coming to fruition.

inspecting the hardware.

satisfied.

and then i practice becoming nana.

good thing i wore the same shirt.

fil just went oh my god under his breath when i told him to look at this post ahhahahahhahaa. mom, time to get a new camera.

three bags for charity ahhhh ps. steph, dad loved the lennon bag.

look what i coloured when i was a little shit kid with too much time on my loner hands i mean in-between macking dudes and takin’ names. i even added my own flowers to that one butterfly in the center cos apparently there just weren’t enough things to colour in/please me/hold my attention?

i have no idea why my camera orders my pictures like this i’m just goin’ with it alright as a gentle fine then fuck you.

i do not recall attaching that beauty and the beast chick but i imagine that i probably did, here have some flare nana maybe i will be an interior designer some day? they tried to give it back to me too wtf?

uh yeah then i went to go sit in the car back in toronto?

hi again still here.

i pretty much still write like this.

i forget the name of this thing but my nana wants to get rid of it (bothers her breathing?) my uncle bought it in a crazy and then left it at nana&papa’s v responsbile there guy. i say have it for lunch today or give it back to a pet store?

petey?

ok i think i know what to get you for mother’s day.

maybe a cd player too.

hi papa.

can’t wait til i’m boring and squirly enough to have seasonally-themed house embellishments. can’t you fil!?

nana is a lady, don’t you cross her. i like to get my digs in when i can though.

the painting by fil’s elbow is supposed to be of my nana reading to me when i was a kid (and had blond hair)(except i was a sloppy greasy tomboy turd) and the only granddaughter at the time. yesterday i was helpful in showing nana which possible colours would go nicely in the sitting/dining room i was very business, fil silently smirked, as did my mom. JEALOUS.

i remember when this collection spread like wildfire, everyone knew what to get for christmas and birthday presents.

see? retarded.

yep, i can see myself getting into this queeny-shit pretty easily. i even bought expensive old lady eye bag cream on my saturday shopper’s trip and i wore my hippie clog slippers out in public again yesterday. dudes colour me given up. (only i am allowed to say it though because fil tried it out on me it caused my mouth to open SO incredibly far and my gasp blasted out a window)

haha my ghetto snack creations. prosciutto-wrapped wheat goldfish, kinda pointless like salt on salt explosion. the garlic/rosemary croutons on the other hand, man, deadly.

our empties from the other day (hush it’s from the last month+) and i show you this because it’s a recessessessession right now and normally we just stack ‘em outside for the hobos but then i thought hey guy there’s at least 5 bones here we should start collecting on our bottle deposits. other obvious money-saving ideas can be found at screwyourecession.ca it’s virgin’s new thing-thang (they also have a twitter) sort of a helpful little web-pocket of articles highlighting shit one can do to save a few coins here and there.

click to enlarge

our boy peter is playing hugh’s room april 2nd. lets hold hands together.

hi friends lets rent singles and wear doc martens.

can you guess who i’ll be gifting this to?

i’ll miss this whimsical little set-up.

scored many a loot i did thank you steph. i have been purging my own wardrobe all morning long. feels great to finally FINALLY let go of some crappy shirt you’ve been holding on to forever just because you looked good in it once, or it looked good, you wore it on a special occasion etc. fil is sad i’m donating this one black shirt i wore on our first date to a shaw play, no wait i hung it back up even though it’s super dumpy on me. i wore it tucked in with a black tie, high chunky boot heels, and a studded belt he still has a sentimental boner for that outfit. he asked me to recreate it. yeah maybe next time i hang out with avril lavigne i will.

how did this get in here?

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

this was a fun grocery store outfit especially the static-cling and when fil pulled it up and stuffed the back into my shorts in front of a scowly old lady hahaha.

honey this steak needs more racist peppercorn sauce please.

ok round two clothes purge begins now. have a great day!

oh look here’s a nice email i received:

subject: gay

gord

sounds like someone has a crush.

the last two? ours.

these are about to go in our homemade caesar salad (fil does the dressing, mustard and anchovy paste and garlic mmm mmm mmm)

so many more gratuitous photos of this.

sort of french ‘cure, workin’ on it. looks better IRL.

i LOVE this couch.

i missed wilbur and i know he missed me.

welcome to whimsical cupcake magic pony art adorable land. my friend lise is a fierce collector of all sorts of goodies.

and that’s tania, she’s the enchanting artist behind those cute owl/squirrel creatures and mushrooms at magic pony that i have photographed 50leven times. as well as this and this and this. what an honour to stare at her for part of the afternoon.

we got to watch lise unpack all her little charms.

i remember this guy, he was in a case before.

cute cute everywhere everything cute. AND! she’s just moved right around the corner from us. pumped.

ORLY. ok sorry.

w/ jacket chair styled.

w/o.

mine now. tania banished it from lise’s premises. i’ve had my eye on it for years anyway so win-win.

she will love this one. why are so many toronto apartment bathrooms decked out with pink fixtures?

these are great. there’s a clear convexed plastic protrusion on each so the black silhouettes pop out.

lise made these pillows. hey are you still working on that quilt?

very nice to look at whilst conversatin’ and trying to wrap your head around it. lise’s friend made this as well as the other red piece in the kitchenette area.

cruisin’ for a snoozin’ after that peanut butter lick-a-thon. i was quite impressed by that purple toy. you can put anything you want in it for your little guy to go to town on, no mess either no way they want to miss even one drop.

golden sparkles on the elevators i will better capture next time.

time for whole foods. oh man, what a scene, ridiculous and alluring, irritating and passive. freaks, rich nobodies, cougs. awesome.

oh yeah and i’m winning! two weeks this sunday happy face sticker will have successfully survived the wrath of the oldies.

oh and someone made a fort last nite.

acquire the secret behind my signature sloppy high side ponytail.

it’s magic! you look amazing!

also, is it bad if i wear my alegria‘s out in public? does that mean i gave up on life? they’re not that ugly are they? (the very top right circle on that link is the colour i have i don’t think anyone will even notice)

how can multiple lyrics websites get it so disgustingly wrong, who do they have writing these things down? the deafest person ever? not only that but then all the other shitty sites copy and paste the same WRONG lyrics. then you find a site that has a slightly different version, also very wrong too. yeah thanks lyricsmania (etc) for killing my desire to share a stupid update on my blog about how i sucked up one of fil’s ties when i vacuumed the other day ugh. anyway. hi. yep it’s me.

i had a very interesting cab driver last week, actually, two in one day. the first one was not as eccentric as the second guy, the first one was more into complaining about wars of the world (yeah me too guy what downers those can be!) and he got me going a bit, we were on the way to my therapist appt, anyway, sometimes you feel like being ignored and ignoring back, sometimes you’re good for a chat.

eccentric guy asks me where i’m going he says oh to that university you go there you are acquiring knowledge? no i say i’m not a student but the learning process never ends they say to which he happily agrees then rips into this spiel about how he’s a prophet of cabology and do i know what that is? huh kabbalah? no CABology and what it means he says is prophet of buuuuullSHIT (he was very “on” with his pronunciations and overall emphases)(that’s a word i just looked it up) and i laugh along with him as he cackles like a maniac and say oh right yeah well i hear that kabbalah is also bullshit. yeah yeah he agrees. then he asks me if i’m aware of the five stages of humanity (it takes him a long time to land on the word humanity, he’s a little scattered, partially manic, borderline autistic?) and i say yes, no, maybe but please refresh me he says ok first there is KNOWLEDGE and that is you right now you are young and you are acquiring knowledge (thanks but i’m not as young as you think) and then that knowledge turns into WISDOM that is the second stage you have become older and wiser about things (more or less his wording i’m trying to memorize these bullet points cos i know it’s gonna be good) then your wisdom turns on you and you are at CONFUSION which is where i am at right now man i am fucked up losing my marbles i don’t know what is going on to which i say nah i disagree you seem pretty on top of things, sharp. meanwhile he’s sort of gunning the cab when he shouldn’t be and slowing when we should be cruising, funny. then he says the fourth stage is DISORIENTATION that’s when your confusion worsens (obvs. this guy says he was a professor i forget of what) and then you are brought to DEMENTIA that is when you die. i say oh great that’s basically what’s in store for me. then i ask for a pen so i can write this down.

i also write down these words (his) old bastard teeth falling out forgetting fare hahah oh right he said sometimes he lets people out without them paying cos he’s talking so much.

anyway we roll up to my building and he’s all oh this is a nice place it must take some good money to live here who lives here? i say mostly old white people then he says man if i were rich i would have three mistresses and he goes on to tell me about his brother or friend (at this point it is really hard to understand him he is just short of babbling, well fully was really) and how he has a mistress and how the son of the mistress told his mother don’t go with him cos he have no money. i try to cut him off several times cos i’m now creeped out and i’ve already paid yet i’m trapped there in a cloud of politeness so i say the economy is screwing over mistresses these days, men can’t afford the extra expense, all the mistresses are desperate. he is genuinely interested and ponders it for a beat which i use to my advantage to get out of the car (i’d had the door open for a good two minutes during his mistress oration) lean in wave goodbye while he blabbers on reminding me about the five stages of humanity yeah yeah i wrote it down don’t worry.

he had one of those huge old people mirrors so he was looking at me the whole ride instead of the road. he also said i was a very good looking, something.

anyway, there you go.

fil’s tie is still in the shopvac, i didn’t want dust fluff to fly out everywhere if i opened it so i’m saving that activity for him. he never wears this tie anyway.

i ordered lakeview terrace last nite and it’s really good, way tense, awkward, scary, frustrating. i recommend it.