so last week or so ate at this little mediterranean joint tucked away in a little plaza somewhere and their shawarma is on par with agabi, also their garlic sauce. so pumped over this. anyway, the girl serving us was very into us, as customers, or persons, derno. there was also a huge table overtaken by a post funeral party it seemed, or church group i don’t know, anyway their vibe compared to ours was not in the party zone, not like ours was but it forced us into comedic relief territory. so anyway the point of this nothing story is our young waitress was all what are you guys up to after this? rightly assuming cool people do more cool things after doing cool things. so i says dunno not much gonna go get high probably then she says i’m so fucking jealous. interesting. interesting when your server drops an f-bomb on your table. good for her.
so we go back last nite for munchies and on the way in a joke is made about this flirtatious chick, something like hey after this do you guys want to get high? then i quipped, girl, we’re only here because we are high.
then we go in and they’re blasting 90s gino beats slash techno, seriously can we have some ecstasy next, straight up scene was what we walked into and as it turns out they’re open til 4am on weekends, weekdays midnite. then this weirdo full-out drunk comes in wearing a porkpie hat, ron jeremy lookin’ character complete with mustache and asks the bartender (different girl this time though looked suspiciously like the other one) if he can get her a drink, like, 5 times. the awkward emanating from over yonder was palpable so when she came over to collect our check and asked if we needed anything else i said yeah i was wondering if i could buy you a drink. she busted up laughing. the guy had been barhopping “downtown” and it was dead apparently.
i have an enormous chin witch zit that is fucking with my game large right now it almost warrants not going out for 24 hours. i might buy it a cellphone.
i am excited for the new bubblegum pink nail polish i purchased yesterday. um yes i just said that.
orillia cottage junk part two fifty days later and irrelevant.
the order of these makes me want to strangle whatever the best thing to strangle ever is ugh whyyyy flickr whyyy?
thanks for the mom jeans, mom. we trade/share zellers request jeans cos they’re the only cheap ones in existence that can handle our chicken thighs. and i’m wearing leggings beneath these.
i’m also super bored and irritated at this point in time. more electrical work had to be done, not by me, and everyone else was doing yard work and there was a slight detection of tension in the air. you know when someone tidies up all around you they are basically FUCK YOU cleaning all aggressive-like so you’re forced to move as far away as possible ugh COOL thanks. even if you offered help they’d refuse it, you’d do it wrong, not their way, but still get punished (passive aggression) for it anyway? one way to deal with this is by cracking a beer and sluggin’ half it down while walking away so they have a vision to shake their head by while they furiously paint.
meanwhile nite before hung tired crabby trying to get power in the dark. the job was switching from fuse box to breaker.
jesus, have fun with that.
i lit 40 candles. even their special ones. took great satisfaction out of it.
EW. that one really grossed me out.
amazing wood stove.
note to self. adjective brother and his bros frequently use. for example: henry drank a dickload of beer.
omg these things. i’m pointing to the spoiled brat of the bunch. nice rock of love pants TURN UP THE POISON PLEASE.
nice things though, the one on the outside growled at wiley and sage. yes. five dog weekend.
keep it together.
biting my lip here cos something was just said that set me off. secretly snarked out all weekend. sometimes one nite too many gets spent overstaying your welcome at someone’s cottage and everyone has to walk around feigning manners and by the time you leave you want to pour an entire pitcher down your throat. the only solution is getting your own cottage. i would love to go greater into detail but i feel bitchy enough already.
i think dave got busted referring to the little one as a little rat. they didn’t say anything about it though. the actual quote was “get out of here you little rat” HAHAHAHA aw. he was just bitter from working.
gorgeous.
dinner reward.
this is how you get me to eat potatoes. as a kid i hated them so much. baked in tinfoil on the bbq is delish.
good morning.
do you like the shift from drinking blog to drinking weed jokes blog?
why not.
gahahaha.
that doesn’t even look real to me. i don’t know what i’m trying to say.
nice bush camo jacket i can’t even SEE you is that a floating cigarette?
not a chance in hell i could/would take a video while riding that shit.
then i added fear of being shot by hunters to the list.
oh you betcha. when in rome…
look i can be classy while being classy.
take notes.
i realised that “part two” of orillia was really just 60 photos of me playing spicoli.
LETS ORDER A PIZZA.
hair appointment has been made. more blond more more MORE.
OUTTIE!
pukebee’s. the bartender was amazed by the addition of oj to beer. don’t you need a smart serve to be a bartender in a chain establishment therefore you’d know about this shit? rickard’s white plus orange slice? too fancy for barrie? was that barrie?
barf. not mine but still.
my ridiculous meal concoction was actually delicious but not an hour later. or for the rest of the night. beneath that cheese thing, well, that cheese thing IS chicken.
i know this post sucked you don’t have to tell me.
so dropped in on the local gas station last nite after some errands, saw they have a little atm thing for my bank so i ran in to grab some cash then decided to grab one of those starbucks tallboy vanilla drinks, that took me two seconds so i set it on the counter and waited. the merchant (this huge obvious bulldyke and yes it’s relevant, crucial to my story even, so shut up)(so isn’t haha) was having a conversation with some guy (customer) before i entered and continued to do so while i stood there waiting to pay for my drink. she knew i was standing there patiently, but still chatted away with her friend. i waited 2 minutes, no bitchy vibes, all casual ‘cept for the hand on hip i added that effect at the very end. merchant still in the doorway gabbin’ away one last chance nope still talkin’ yeah i have all nite to stand here cool. so i grab my money purse, tuck it under my arm and march toward her. she’s blocking the entire doorway so i kinda have to steamroll through, she moves and says oh excuse me, then realises her gaff (spies my drink on the lottery ticket counter) rushes out behind me and yells I’M SORRY ABOUT THAT! yeah sure, i’m sure you are. i just said something like yeah it’s ok or don’t worry about it as i walked away, got in the truck dave was on the phone unawares of this passive aggressive showdown i am about to win so i interrupt and say GO! and we go while she is standing out there looking like a real smart specimen. i did feel cunty but that’s the only way you can teach these people. you rude me, i rude you back. i didn’t want that drink anyway it was an impulse thing.
this woman recognizes us too cos we go there for stoner snacks at retarded hours, bags of chocolate and whatever. guess won’t be doing that anymore. sucks when you have to teach your friends a lesson. well actually she has never seen me before but she knows the truck so basically she was my friend but didn’t know it though we aren’t friends anymore because she BLEW IT. just kidding i already forgive her.
this storm out i highly recommend. i’ve seen it done before, had it done to me before during super busy saturdays with gobs of people all around the cash out, then it’s just funny on them for bailing after committing so long to the line-up. once you reach a certain point you have to stick it out for the long haul and purchase your goods but if it’s only a short while you can pull a jerry maguire flip out exit.
this is what a lightbulb going off in someone’s head sounds like coming out of said person. feel free to watch this over and over again.
it occurs to me that people viewing my blog via blackberry/iphone whathaveyou, may not be able to see my videos if they aren’t flash enabled snore snore zzz so from here on in i shall accompany each embedded video with its hyperlinked url starting now. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3smZVNW97g. i bid you adieu.
it’s gettin’ pretty rootsy up in here, have to get crafty smoke ‘n mirrors-like to distract from them. errg next week for sure hair appt.
here she comes.
so sass coming ’round westward bound was to be a surprise to cheer me up which got fouled up but meh. hi!
i am going to mention my roots ten thousand times if that’s ok.
sass has her own fruit fly catching recipe. dish soap, oj, balsamic.
but look how many i captured!
hang lounge is the spot to be, she said it felt like a cottage? cozy i think she meant. plus she likes snakes.
prepare for twenty stupid pictures of me looking stupid. oh wait that’s everyday, nevermind.
listening to a story about a girl who approached sass at a party who is a raymi fan. HI! like the vintage plush superman addition to the couch? thanks.
i am so listening to this story i swear.
this is the part that pertains to me so you have 1000% of my attention now.
an intense finish.
what’s the sound of a decorative banjo with no strings? atmospheric awe.
then someone hit the little prince (pipe) and became awesometown! and got into linko with me. ps. look at this tattoo of the little prince (i call it the littlest prince cos i think it’s cuter that way).
woah.
you have to keep grabbing tiles until you can go. the setup is essentially dominoes, in sequence, but by different colour. good/bad stoner game. you sit there for five minutes and can’t remember who just went hahaha.
i think i won this game but who cares, it’s the experience that matters right? the journey, guys. JOURNEY.
exactly.
is it my fucking turn yet what is even going on?
something’s about to happen i think.
yes something indeed, out on the town something.
i have to lie down first.
lightbulb idea goes off.
john/yoko reenactment.
sort of not working out.
do over another day. ugh and i’m period fat all over the place. next.
what’s this?
ugh. cool one, chaps. you also like the non-word texican. trying to explain to people the reason behind oriental no longer being thee thing to refer to asians by is just, first of all these types are already at a disadvantage in the smart gene pool on top of some racism coursing thru their veins so essentially they do not care, are too dumb to get it, and won’t change their ways regardless. i usually just say oh so she’s a rug then? you can say oriental when referring to a fucking rug, not a person.
gunned. crazy sweet potato fries poutine with chipotle and jalapenos and whatever the heck else.
your guts will thank you in the morning.
adorable girl in pumpkin costume behind me.
my love affair with deep fried pickles has come to an end. we’re through. you know what i have learned about chain establishments in the suburbs versus the city? the suburbs get it right (they have to) while the city chains do not give a care. if you hit up a chain restaurant in the city they’re basically like, why? here’s your plate of slop.
no matter where we eat, sass and her creamy pasta fetish. claims she likes the texture.
stuffed and so cranked has to spend the nite hahaha. may as well keep riding that horse.
time for never-ending ruthless stoner monopoly.
oh yes.
rocket scientists.
wheelin’ and dealin’.
wiley cashed out.
oh he’s up.
BAM! check that corner, all me baby i won! (that’s also my playing piece, the only golden thing) i have to say, playing with credit cards is so much easier and possibly more enjoyable.
i’ve been dragged to aberfoyle many a time as a skeezy teenager. much more fun to go back as a dickhead adult. canada’s oldest eh? last weekend for it too and free admission.
didn’t buy this why?
another regret. i’ll take born again, you take jesus saves. lets do this.
ADORABLE. WANT.
you are a.
so many vendors were doin’ 50% off everything jams. best day to go.
checking the wares. dig the coloured glass.
my impression of how beautiful you are.
my new hippie stoner drinking implement flutes. 50% off! talked the guy out of one more dollar after that, ten even, despite the woman vendor giving some ‘tude. if people shoot down your haggling the way i see it, their loss. have fun packing that all up again brah. i drank a mimosa out of one of these last nite.
my favourite building/house/pile of junk space. so many kooky cats wandering around with weird hair, outfits (antiquing bonus is all the goof sightings) all riffing their zany convos across the room to each other and clearly all the vendors are tight, you could just wander around all day puttering from stall to stall, seems like a great life to me (when you’re old and squirly). anyway i digress…
she started it.
aside from not too terribly morose persons, it’s the wacky ones who steal my heart.
never trust anyone with an uncluttered space.
i fainted every time i came across vintage christmas ornaments.
oh you flirt.
scottish hat 85 bones. i didn’t even bother trying to haggle that one. though this hat deserves me, plus my grandmother was from scotland. sidenote: studied at cambridge.
sunny day out eh?
somewhere out there is a great comedian.
how blind were people?
i’ve a tight green vintage army coat i have no idea where to wear.
wanted it. woman wasn’t price budging.
a new hat is spied.
public enemy inaug.
fly persons only.
woah. lancelot, relax. who even has something like this? awed.
one wasn’t enough. 4 more of these in the stacks.
hello scout.
new friend.
fall is flyin’ right on by, huh?
the red room is a little ridiculous. check my new gym.
bonus sexy black socks.
my brain cannot even process what its eyes are being glared at.
your ingredients. now you’d probably prefer a squat tumbler for the beer and the typical sake shot glass also squat, not this fancy hybrid modern designed whatever but you also probably don’t want to tell your server what your intentions are, or you do, whatever. i didn’t haha. so i went with what was given.
this is basically Jägerbomb style. easy.
tonsa head from the sake glass drop. further way down to go due to design.
wait for it to settle or just give’r.
i say give’r.
the shot glass blocked the rest of the beer i had to dig it out to get at it all otherwise you bet that’d all go down in one chug. my verdict on sake bombs: pleasing, subtle and get you cranked. sake drunk is a goofy care-free drunk. perfect.
chaser.
k bye it’s miserable out today, totally mood suitable. errg.
