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November 16, 2010

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we ambushed rob on saturday with snacks and rum and orangina. his place was a sty and it smelled of death.

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rum and orangina go so very well together it’s like the cheapest holiday ever. a holiday in your mouth and then in your mind once the rum takes effect. sign me up rummies.

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melodie read from a book about stuff we apparently like, we white folk and she judged the book appropriately as she does all things in life. does anyone even go to that website anymore? do books kill websites? or do we just gradually get over things yeah yeah we get it we like tote bags, funnnny.

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can you just give me this already?

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how do you even get laid? ps. the hummus from no frills is amazing, curry hint to it. will buy the larger one next time please remind me.

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cleaning up other people’s messes is somehow enjoyable and necessary. rob just sat around going yes or no to stuff mel would hold up and ask him where it goes or to toss it, he made a fire and the smell of whatever died, vanished.

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stuffing face. woke up at 4? maybe this was friday actually yeah it was cos i slept in so late after my party. this is me becoming human again, nourishment, booze and weed. kept thinking thursday was friday, i always mess this up and then saturday is sunday and i get emo cos the weekend is over so soon and then my friends are like, IDIOT, it’s saturday tomorrow. if you guys turn into famous bloggers this day confusion is so in store for you. do you know how awesome it is gaining a day though? i need a real vacation stat.

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hangover patch residue.

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gettin’ into it now.

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sort of abby. still working out.

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tastes like crap. good prop though.

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i then invited rob along to my next raymi eating adventure and he accepted.

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first i needed to go take some pictures of myself in this skidly bathroom.

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ew the men’s room.

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notorious food critic elitist guy cory mintz of the toronto star invited me over to dinner for his column FED (also it was his one year column anniversary to boot) wherein he cooks for notables and writes about the dinner (you, the food, the gab)(i’m a little nervous hahah the tables have turned). corey has cooked for steven page, dad! this is kind of a big deal.

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rob’s always up for a good exploit so took his ass along. that chick is emma, corey’s pal.

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mcneely was also on the scene. i was pre-told not to photograph the food. if my shitty camera made the food look bad then corey would look bad. that’s fine i was already intending to draw everyting in MS paint anyway (rob’s idea) as i showed him my archaic drawing bad blog and he goes, why isn’t all of this on your real blog, like, all of it? together? i have several other blogs too, and a tumblr. why i don’t aggregate it, hmmm no definitive reason for that but anyway yeah no food photos only for my own records and something to draw from.

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the menu:

Sweetbreads + Maitake

Testina + Broccoli + Cauliflower

Merguez + Israeli Couscous + Manchego

had to google all of this. rob was like what kind of wine do you drink with sweetbreads? and was googling it while i curled my hair as IF someone answered that question on the internet. i don’t think they did.

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i’ve been recorded a lot lately. totally changes how you speak and what you say, thank god, self-censoring is a good thing. my mother needs to be recorded at all times then.

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after awhile you forget about the recorder and figure what the hell i’ll just keep blathering. i asked corey if he takes people’s subtle nuances in tone and inflection and reports things out of context you know, to be mean. he says no. well i guess this saturday we shall be the judge of that.

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didn’t take me long to get nosy and open all of those drawers.

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no clue.

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pretty. we should have brought flowers way to go idiot.

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so organized. not surprised.

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far away food photo is ok right?

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the drawer’s revelations: closet nerd.

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good thing i brought a living nick fury with me to dinner, corey and rob are big fans.

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action figures NOT dolls.

FIRST COURSE: Sweetbreads + Maitake (mushroom)

sweetbreads are like the weird disgusting parts of an animal. why they call it sweetbreads is kind of a dumb mystery, supposedly funny? you gotta eat that shit fast before you start thinking too much. Sweetbreads or ris are culinary names for the thymus (throat, gullet, or neck sweetbread) and the pancreas (heart, stomach, or belly sweetbread), especially of the calf (ris de veau) and lamb (ris d’agneau) (although beef and pork sweetbreads are also eaten). The “heart” sweetbreads are more spherical in shape, and surrounded symmetrically by the “throat” sweetbreads, which are more cylindrical in shape.

it was delicious, only an asshole would give you sweetbreads that tasted disgusting. if one is to sway you to the weird side of cuisine they have to make it appealing. no one’s going to sell you on something like liver if it tastes like poverty. the “in” cuisine thing right now is to be bizarre and outlandish with your meats. go france.

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SECOND COURSE: Testina + Broccoli + Cauliflower

i’ve had testina before at Cowbell and it’s really good, basically pork, super fatty pork and little meat to it, it smells great and it’s, to me, humourous. the face of a pig. barbaric. lord of the flies. gruesome and terrible, now poshed up on my pretentious plate, sure why not.

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gearing up for round three and a bottle of wine for each one.

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was having a weird hair day had to use rob’s shower as adventurehouse, who the fuck even knows. only TODAY the hot water came back and i’m in burlington anyway.

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i couldn’t find the hello kitty toys drawer.

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camera bromance.

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THIRD COURSE: Merguez + Israeli Couscous + Manchego

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israeli couscous is essentially just big macaroni-like pasta balls. i had a second scoopful helping of that. the sausage pairing, excellent. everything was magnificent and not too filling (my one request i have a figure to consider). for dessert we had poached peaches (or pears?) in this caramel booze sauce (brandy?) things were gettin’ hazy and blabby by that point i’d draw a picture but it would just look like a pile of caramel goo. next time you invite me over to dinner and tell me i can’t take pictures and yer making something high-end can you sculpt it into something easier to draw like a hamburger i’m really good at drawing hamburgers.

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the booze shelf was staring at us piss tanks the whole time.

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yeah i’ll have whatever’s in that bottle of cologne please thank you.

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jen forgot her hat.

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could not resist taking pictures of these total wes anderson (steve zissou) wet dream right here no doubt.

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Thanks so much for the dinner invite it was really fun and indulgent. you’re a quick study, classy, and down to earth. I likey.

xo rlw



Vomments (6)
November 15, 2010

one more round-up of party photos then we move on k.

these are casie’s wild shots and there’s a lot.

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lucas’ hair is looking pretty cool these days.

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even afrim was there!

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appleton and cranberry. delicious.

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pretty girl nadia i want your headband.

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mom was trouble this night.

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talkin’ shit of some kind or other.

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cockblocked the photo i did.

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jennifer showed up in a blue sequin dress made me laugh so much (and happy) she is so hot.

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gill is lecturing me and that’s my buttoning it face. what do you mean you didn’t get me enough lemons, baby needs 12 lemons, SHOW lemons.

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i have yet to catalogue the leftovers.

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hot.

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oh my god i look ridiculous.

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appleton players. mmm mmm good.

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mr. tarek and his stylish bag.

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pre-dress explosion.

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one of my rock and roll moves on stage is to point a lot. hella pointing.

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and making that face.

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i would have danced more but i was nervous to knock things over with the tutu.

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oh i’m holding the dress together now cos the silver strap in the front tore right off when i bent over to put something on the stage.

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i’m singing a katy perry song.

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look how open that dress is. luckily i’m flat as hell and it’s nothing you haven’t seen before already.

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i wanted to go away and change, everyone was chanting ONE MORE SONG ONE MORE SONG and dad was like just stay one more song meanwhile i’m clutching the dress together red faced NO DAD LOOK! ohhhhh then the ball drops. i said fuck it and stayed up there anyway.

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can they see anything? hmmm.

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what’s with the look on my face here? michael was the first person to rush me once i stepped down from stage and he is straight stroking my ego so i dunno why the face, maybe i am overwhelmed by the praise and glory?

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that wine is moments away from being dumped all over that dress. steph laughed her head off, i was in it for um 20 minutes before two things made me change right out of it. hi chris!

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why is this photo interesting casie?

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scarjo dead ringer.

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kathleen kept flashing her majungas at me and i was like what??? why? i think she was showing me her necklace? anyway, in i went for the kill and this is the evidence.

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this blurry little miss yen i think i have a crush on her.

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mom did you take butterface home?

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i love that you wore the crown as if there could be stopping you.

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queen of narnia witch hair. i need a sleigh. when does the second narnia come out also the second in the golden compass trilogy also do you know of some 13 year olds who will let me watch all these movies with them thanks.

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embarrassingly, one of my (several) family nicknames as a kid was bum bum lauren and there is even a song to go along with it. skinny gawky kid with a hilarious badonk ass. thanks for the complex!

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mer and dayna. thank you for dressing mental dayna HUG.

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i forget who the other fox is but fox all the same, thanks for coming. i made a few eye contact moments with her but was too shy and insane to pursue it. i was like martin short in father of the bride, dramatic, all over the place.

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more family secrets. uncle mike won dinner at cafe du lac. he gave away two fishing trips. lucky ducks.

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family kept winning everything particularly my mom, then dad, then aunt, then uncle so i kept ripping through tickets and everyone really wanted the torontoist gong show to win the fishing trip. i think i was up there for twenty minutes until it happened.

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he won the rum.

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i am dragging it out, matching the ticket numbers, his name, telling him his prize choices.

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she must be calling maury povich or something haha. she just won a boat trip. look how happy she is. that could’ve been you.

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hi carly three quarters of the blondetourage reunite. casie came up with the best word for the blog show, it’s this post’s title. she said it when i showed up matter-of-factly, this is your blogtourage. hahaha nice we’re like a hip hop video with every person from the neighbourhood standing around flossin’ it to fill space. perfect. thank the universe for bipolarisms and people who think in them like me, we give the best copy.

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aw i love cam and wendi. my brother looks like he has something important to tell me.

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one of these people i may or may not have picked up at my gym.

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ava and her wig and her dress awwwww.

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no, wrong. wrong bar wrong. do not wear those at my party girl why would you ruin that outfit? kind of cute in a kooky way i get it but, sigh, this isn’t a pool party. still i love me my freaks so i am giving you a green card one time only.

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classic raymi outfit i kept tripping all over the black crinoline.

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bringing it home.

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too late.

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oooh yes.

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money money money.

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cheese forever. thanks again guys. i am bowing right now.

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ugh your hair mer. hate you.

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me mem ememe. casie i can’t wait to go to the you party.

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cheatin’ off the lyrics sheet. i know these songs inside and out and when you get up there you’re like uhhhh.

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go adventurehouse.

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syd you’ve turned into quite the woman i dunno why but you seemed all tiny when we first met, more kidly? i am complimenting you here. you have a jhonen drawing tat omg.

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ok guy the secret’s out, i actually threw a rave.

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steph has a tshirt addiction.

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and a raymi addiction.

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the next decade jam my hair will be even bigger. there, it’s in writing.

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crystal came. love that girl. she can put ‘em back. one time at the central we were talking about boozing and then basically made 30 shots while standing and talking like gentlemen, jen was there too, can’t drink as well as we guys and she was completely annihilated by 4 or whenever it was i got out of there though crystal and i were cross-eyed, still goin’ for it. there’s photos. i am not bragging or proud of my liver’s abilities here, just sharing. i watched that irish leap year movie yesterday and all the little irish drunks in the pub were so endearing however no, i do not intend to end up like that.

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that chick, forget her name, maje raymi fan.

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givin’er til the bitter end.

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something to go.

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someone is pumped. sell it on ebay.

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weirdest faces ever picture. why am i making that face? i’ve never made that face before.

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i am containing a bout of laughter no doubt.

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eyeing this jealously.

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look at the smug. i hope it gets you laid.

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best bags.

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david and rob came to buy us milagro shots. why not keep going.

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we played kissing tag.

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i do this elaine benes GET OUT kick when my brain cannot get to my mouth quickly enough so the gambs express what the mouth cannot. just stand back.

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hahaha. when i get near italians i turn into one. happens with jews too. and polaks. and kitty cats.

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how you holding up kid?

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on way to corey‘s interruption.

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i made fun of rob’s wine, so i bought a more expensive one, with his money cos my wallet was lost in the couch and turns out, his wine was my favourite of the night.

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russ is a sexy m’fer.

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kinky casie.

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who would win in a fight though?

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and, who is crazier?

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merry christmas.

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oh jesus. who is this guy?

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self timer. we, are, working, here, people. duhhhhh. oldest (newest) excuse in the book.

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dance dance point point dance dance point point this concludes my how to dance tutorial.

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to adventurehouse.

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amazing.

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oh yeah.

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what a perfect way to end this post.

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my room is still trashed. avoiding it.

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no, this is the best way.

xoxox thank you everyone again and again. now back to reality.



Vomments (11)
November 13, 2010

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raymi party review. still recovering. i am pleased it’s all over now, i can breathe easier and i am less high strung.

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disney princess tea sampling. melodie made me some witchy tea for the swag bags.

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forget what she blended, tasted lovely though. i’ll find out.

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shannon put eyelash extensions on the ends of my lids. subtle.

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smirkinator. oh this? yeah i just rolled out of bed like this. gym guy showed up with a crew and was like you. are. outrageous.

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dr. robert play wrong bar. the hilarity (amazing) writes itself.

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i told my dad it was going to be like the cavern club for him. heh. they practiced a surprise for me, first jam was birthday and they changed the words to it’s raymi’s anniversary! for they say it’s your birthday. i gave’r. dancing in that dress was kind of fun and i dunno, total spectacle. everything is amplified.

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i found out the dollar amount worth of cheese. you would faint if you knew.

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john hastings. bravo. my brother loved him.

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behind the scenes with palais royale. that’s lox, crem fresh on potato pancakes. i served a tray to the room. the other stuff over there i forget but you got a little ladel to scoop it in your mouth. very delicious.

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michael nus wrote the most flattering post ever about how fancy i made wrong bar. “I was actually taken aback by how classy Raymi made the reception.” i love that “i was actually taken aback” good. shock and awe people.

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and then these guys. palais, you devils. served these with some kind of jelly compote to dip. fab. phenom. etcetera.

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worker bee.

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dad look your gear placed on notorious punk hipster stage. fantasy memories for days right?

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my girls. love youuuu.

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got me ripped these guys. torontoist gong show. i look rtrd’d.

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my little ginger.

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classy amber, she’s so wee. need to hang out again soon girl and catch up.

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tarek looked SO GOOD with his murse. any man carrying a satchel is HOT. i do love me my fisherman lumberjack manly men types (so do) but i will always have a huge spot for those metro elitist stylish guys. you need to be able to be both like how a lady can be a lady and tramp, sporty, feminine and so on.

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assistant two, emily. very big help. i hope you guys enjoyed yourselves at least a little. mandie was assistant one. writing you a glowing recommendation for future whatever. haha robert downstairs at cindy’s bday gathering was laughing at me for having an assistant. they’re all older than me kinda revolutionary fight the power/system types and all get a kick out of someone like me with my internet and my photos and my BLOGGING anti-traditional bullcrap so after like a solid half hour of snarkily inquiring into what it is that i actually do i say i gotta go i gotta call my assistant and tell her something and robert just howls with laughter as i am trying to collect my silly putty brains and get out of the place to my awaiting cab. yes i realize how ridiculous it sounds to hear “my assistant” coming out of the mouth of a platinum barbie outfit (pink turtleneck nipple city) mental case you just met but so what, that’s reality.

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shannon helping me into dress two. i disappeared and changed without telling anyone. she also brought me outfit 3. she is amazing. she made my hair. taking it all out was really funny and fun kinda lucas and crystal did it while i sat on the couch in my room while everyone was crammed into my bedroom about 3 in the morning?

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blue hair won a boat trip. my uncle let me raffle off one more for the torontoist kids they kept screaming FISHING TRIP! FISHING TRIP! meanwhile everyone in my family kept winning shit. i was up on stage forever going through tickets. eventually it was like ok you win a pile of my shit, go get it.

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two suave brown guys at howling hour. kodak moment. both watering hole proprietors. russ made not my dog. do you know why it’s called not my dog? has something to do with peter sellers, pink panther. you figure it out lazy.

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this is when the pictures get good.

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i didn’t even get a gift bag after all that nor did a lot of my inner circle buddies. also a bunch of rum was stolen.

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this is total wedding hair man.

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my hair was so big i didn’t even know they added a yellow flower to it. bob’s wife (in my dad’s band)(he and my dad have been buddies for FORTY YEARS) erin gave him a box of feathers and a tiara and a pink sash. i stuck some feathers in my hair for a bit. mom wore the tiara heheh. i referred to her/myself as the lohans when i told her to get away from me/the stage at one point.

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bunny bought me that diamond harajuku comb when she went to japan a few years ago. i love it more and more each day.

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steph, massive help and crucial support system i love you and you were so funny all night long getting hosed and making comments about every situation running peanut gallery commentary bahahaha.

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very end of the night before we left. sent all my crap with the assistants to adventurehouse and we hit salvador darling before last call. we were a traveling hilarious circus.

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and we brought pickles. left them there for the bar too. my generosity is never-ending.

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shall we then…

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no clue who the guy is that’s pulling me?

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sure why not.

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omg look at his face he must be wasted and thinking he’s hallucinating and what luck he has.

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does this even require captioning?

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this guy just kept going we weren’t even paying attention anymore and steph interrupts our drunk yell competition to say excuse me can you please look at that? he was whipping his own ass with our flowers and bucking.

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nothing shocks me anymore so i was just like, ok sure.

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just another day.

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i was so gassed i was thinking the peacock was a person beside me and i kept apologizing to it.

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and i was adamant about everyone knowing i had this exact same horse as a kid, it was my mom or dad’s before that? it was orange. we drew all over it with crayons and now it’s in my nana and papa’s basement the springs have been put through so much torture you pretty much touch ground on it.

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can you picture me at an equestrian resort in riding outfits? lucas said that the look that’s in right now for men is fishermen, a departure from lumberjacks, and for women it’s riding clothes. rob was wearing a fisherman sweater last nite which is why he brought it up. then he asked me how i felt about that. i agree is how i feel. i’ll go into it more another day though does anybody actually care what i think about fashion? yes? ok good, raincheck then.

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this made me nervous she went so far forward so many times. do not interfere with nature. that’s the national geographic photographer’s code, a quote that kinda got misquoted in eye but it’s ok the point is if a gazelle is about to be taken down by the lion you have to let it happen on its own even if you want to help it, that’s how it works in nature so for the same token if someone is trainwrecking, just watch. a bit shit heady yeah?

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i am either singing or saying something that i think is funny. nope, that looks like i’m beltin’ one out.

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mmm hmmm.

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i was trying to dance pose ride that thing.

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great form.

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it just keeps going.

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this is so photoshopabble masthead eh david. aaron. me sliding on ice or slipping on a banana peel.

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thank god for digital cameras eh.

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casie i cannot wait to see your shots. you were a huge ass help to me, i love you more and more every time we hang and collaborate. thank you for trying to public relations my mom away from the stage hah.

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took this so i could see what it looked like (so dark in there) so i could then make fun of myself on my blog about it. it’s not even that funny. like, at all. great!

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dance boogie face captured.

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partied out?

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i do NOT look 31 a-holes.

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thank you very much one and all. it was a great time. i’m sure more and more stuff will trickle in, photos, stories, who knows. i am still recovering. did i say that already? my next project to be hyper-focused obsessed with is my book. very excited for dinner tonite at corey‘s. i’m bringing rob. jen will also be there. must grab a nice bottle of wine and prepare my outfit, charge camera and also shower at rob’s as we have no hot water in adventurehouse.



Vomments (16)
November 12, 2010

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these are my mom’s pics.

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bahahha.

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birthday present from tarek. thanks!

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thanks to shkank for the fab fun dresses. thanks to everyone for coming out and celebrating with me it was a blast, think we pulled it off eh? love you all. i’ll post all my pics and casie’s later. xoxo



Vomments (14)

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actually had three costume changes. my dress exploded on stage janet jackson superbowl style and i kept singing. kinda hilarious. ok more later my house is trashed. adventurehouse is now called detoxhouse according to lucas hahah.

Where do you find the most inspiration?

Films. No, cinema. Which word is more obnoxious? Celebrities for sure, their beauty and talent, poise. I admire their perfectionism and tenacity, they also take a lot garbage in the media. I am inspired by nature, seasons, colours, food, art, music. A good bender, the perfect company with the right attitude. A night like that can keep you writing for weeks.



Vomments (2)
November 11, 2010

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pretty much sums it all up nicely.

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there it is in warmer lighting. cheese boutique has graciously given me their reusable bags to use for my VIP party bags. they’re really sturdy. i keep worrying about what i should eat later but then i remember CB is taking care of that AND palais royale. as awful as everyone likes to think i am i’m sorry but having two (amazing) food gurus cater your party is no small feat. in food world if you’re not liked, no strings get pulled in your favour. i can’t wait for you guys to be eating FOR me for once and taking photos of it. takin’ the night off guy. bring your cameras.

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went through raymi’s tickle trunk last nite and selected so many things. three bags worth of clothes, that entire rack, plus more bags of knick knacks, nail polish, jewelery and i haven’t even tackled my shoes yet. i’m going to set it all up by the big mirror on the second tier of wrong bar so you can try all my crap on. donating half to sistering (learn all about it here).

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wanted to get a tan in last nite, didn’t happen.

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i should probably bring a normal raymi outfit in case i get shy or all partied out so i’m not sitting in a pile of crinoline, sequins, and feathers.

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cindy downstairs (happy birthday!) gave me this from a swag bag. i want stuff like this for my swag bags. i guess raymi army needs to multiply for that to happen. get to work guys.

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love the details almost a shame to brush them away.

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this is me in a paralyzer stress moment. all my stress went away in the night. everything is taken care of short of a package arriving yesterday and i wasn’t here for it so who knows if it’ll get to the forwarding address in time, i feel it’s vital ish for my stupid bags that have been consuming my brains for a month.

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i made six of these. dollarama chic. i’ll get the girls to fix and make them look better, maybe stick the beetlejuice glittered foliage up the middle so it’s more like a bouquet. will construct the rest on site so it’s easier to transport.

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boxes of stuff all over the dining room.

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i went to dollarama with fake flowers feathers and beads on the mind. it would have been way too much work and i’d be covered in hot glue burns by night’s end so i came up with this? i can’t tell if they’re stupid or yuppie enough. you can take the glitter things out when christmas is over and leave it in a sitting room beside your books on wildflowers of new england photographs cos you’re a geek like that haha. (i’m raffling these off).

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spent $75 not bad.

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this makes me feel crazy. i better not start dreaming of these stupid wicker balls.

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ugh dollarama nightmare. people do NOT know how to maneuver through this joint. the teenagers are especially irritating trying to be all adult in a store getting in my crafting way oh yeah girl in uggs this is your future SOAK IT INNNNNNN. (ps. i could have given away some pairs of uggs tonight but i wanted money on top of it as i have made fun of those boots for years, kind of a hypocrite if i went ahead with it right? my greed got in the way of your love of uggs. sorry).

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pipe cleaners for bags also um, i needed them. girls and stationary, office supplies, pens, we have a mental illness for it i do not know why but i know several other chicks who are like yeah, and this drawer is devoted to my post it notes, duo-tangs, swirly pens, paper clips, and erasers. duh.

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earlier at Redd gettin’ roots did and conspiring over what my hair is going to be like tonight.

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if it wasn’t for redd sponsoring my head there’s no way i could afford being platinum. i mean, i could afford it but i’d be poor and platinum. wait, i AM kinda poor so, i’ll use that another day. good band name. point is, redd is very girl-supporting it is always a treat to go there, very sanctuary.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5167158310/in/photostream/

all the girls will be out tonite too. shannon is teaching them how to do man cuts. why doesn’t someone become a billionaire already and invent hair mannequins you can reuse the scalp hairlines of? they’re so expensive and also such a waste and every single hair salon goes through them. sure i’m not the first to think about this idea. i guess you can’t just put in new hair as part of the idea is to work with the hair lines coming out of the head and if you inserted new hair…? there, that was my brain just giving up.

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this is going on my head in an hour must remember to wear a button down shirt. i bought a stocking, they’re stuffing it and pinning it and then somehow making me look like marie antoinette i am so. excited.

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kiki style anoinette of course.

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gorgeous. spectac.

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i wish i had my ears pierced.

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i’m going to cut some flowers and other things to stick in this. my favourite updo from this movie is when it’s like a foot high, everyone claps and she goes, too much? meanwhile it’s about to cascade right off her head so ridiculous all these inserted feathers and birds and bows, dreamy.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5166661395/in/photostream/

i need a big emu feather. feel free to bring stuff to insert into my hair all night long.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5166660921/in/photostream/

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ok we get the idea.

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he’s looking like a raggamuffin but we are not shaving him this time. he’s so much more cozy to cuddle and inside all that is a really teeny cat.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5166556839/in/photostream/

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i’m in blogto today and i am visibly tired. i always look tired but especially so from planning and stressing over an event i’d like to see how you would look.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5167154068/in/photostream/

positively mental.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5166554407/in/photostream/

ten years of blogging, that’s like being famous for picking your nose heheh. i am also featured in eye weekly: Raymi the Minx: a decade as Toronto’s most famous oversharer – Raymi Lauren White, who has been blogging for a decade as Raymi the Minx, offers some perspective upon satisfying Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hour rule i wonder if it’s in print today too?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5167123022/

Illustration by Roxanne Ignatius/Torontoist.

ten years of blogging makes you look like this. i also made Torontoist. i sat on the best quote i think i’ve written lately for a couple weeks. it’s hard to contain yourself as a blogger when you write something for someone else, it’s like gossip, just itching to type it in caps lock on your heart blog for all the world to see instantly.

Instead of worrying about what others think about me, they’re the ones who should be worried about what I think of them.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5167153156/in/photostream/

people thinkin’ they’re so great all the time yet have nothing to show for it, nothing to back it up, all anonymous. what projects are you passionate about? what dreams have you that you’re accomplishing other than wasting your own time being sour grapes over what i have achieved?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5167152514/in/photostream/

my life isn’t any more interesting than anybody else’s i’m just blogging it. there are loads more annoying and obnoxious wastes of space out there you’ve never fucking met or ever heard of at least i’m the real article here, i know what is and isn’t annoying in the world, i comment on it so you don’t have to. i’m pretty sure we agree on lots.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5166552933/in/photostream/

wrong underwear to be wearing with those pants.

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my dad can’t believe that cutesy pictures of me and witty things i say warrants such hatred. i think the haters have gotten enough airplay and actually you know what, you’re in the minority fuckers. we coulda been good you know, i’m not a snob like some of your other idols who would no doubt shun the fuck out of you. i’m actually open and receptive to all walks, that’s the irony here.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5166551473/in/photostream/

ew.

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overheard a table of winners bragging, discussing, and cross-comparing DUI stories while getting hosed at this pub.

ok dudes, see you later, thank you for celebrating this milestone with me and for inspiring, encouraging, supporting the raymi spectacle after all these years. i guess i have to make a speech tonite? casie can we stream it? also sjm is going to mic me and film everything, i dunno how i feel about that as he’ll get down all the little secrets and dumb things i whisper into your ear. also the mic will interfere with my dresses. ok no mic.

Dearest Lauren or your persona “Raymi”

Congratulations on your 10th year of your blog and it felt like it WAS just yesterday that Bob and I were drinking our favourite beverages with your Dad while he told us how you were starting a blog. “Blog?” We nodded as if we were very informative and knowledgeable about blogs, which of course was not true.

Look at you now!

But seriously, give yourself a huge thump on the back for being consistent (stubborn if you may say so), and for your awesome talent! Have a great night tonite my dear cause you earned every accolade you receive from your fans.

Sending a little box/pressie with Bob so plz make sure he gives it to you!
xo
Erin

+++

shedoesthecity will be putting up a Q&A in a little bit too. here’s one thing i said to get the ball rolling,

If you could have drinks with anyone, who would it be?

My grandpa if he were alive today, we would be drinking scotch, he would be actually and I’d be drinking Jameson and I would ask him to explain why the fuck he drank cheap scotch all the time, it tastes like shit! John Lennon (plus weed). Kurt Cobain, Gallagher brothers, (either or though I think their drunken accents would be impossible to make out what the hell they were saying) and one more why not um some kind of big mouth hot shot with opposing political views as my own in a Bay street bar where he is one part agog by me and one part totally fucking infuriated. I love me a good argue.



Vomments (18)
November 9, 2010

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5163077230/

oh hello there BOOM lilitaly location don’t mind if i plant myself down here awhile while i sort out the next 48 hours of my liiiiife.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162452905/

ground zero for this hero.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162453107/in/photostream/

one day, when i have a boyfriend, we will sit here together.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5163060190/in/photostream/

i’m like, this close to goin’ muff don’t care if that offends lesbos or not. i was in a relationship with a girl once. she was way more mental than me, ended in a big mess but anyway, i can be a good boyfriend.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162453541/in/photostream/

um. amazing. the key is in the details. you can sit beneath a normal light or you can sit beneath a light that is also a coffee cup.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5163060822/in/photostream/

walked by the place three times like a genius, thought i was going to mitzi’s other location (my marbles are scattered all over the road presently) um wrong-o i am not doing that place today haha. the men working outside were very pleased with my settling on this restaurant as well as selecting the window. i dragged both tables into a four-spot and nestled in.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5163061024/in/photostream/

classic class.

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retro-vision.

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coug boots.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5163062036/in/photostream/

not much of an appetite but i know i gotta eat.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162455281/

if you spot one of these around town let me know k?

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remember when everybody first got digital cameras and all you saw were pictures of crap on restaurant tables ooooh so indie colour me IMPRESSED look we have a real artist on our hands now. heh. did my nails at the table it was like putting a layer of schmuck coating over grimey middle earth claws.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162455739/in/photostream/

could not f-ing decide. i ordered off menu in the end. all the cool (difficult) people do.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162455969/in/photostream/

is there a baby boomer club out there and if so do they have their meetings here? they should. i’ll make sure to be in the vicinity that day and tweet every single thing i overhear so we can make fun of it together.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5163063224/in/photostream/

um, do i look 27? i look older don’t i? i’ve always gotten older but lately i’ve been getting early thirties. great. i am 31 foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162456691/in/photostream/

that left handed cup again. me and my americanos. had two double. no, three? i should NOT be drinking caffeine right now but just try and stop me. i think the day of my party i’m gonna curb it just to be safe.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5163063942/in/photostream/

speaking of muff (i know you lost it or knew where i was going with that when you read it up there fyi. you know who) this is muffy. she, is awesome. the first ten people to go to any boom location and drop the raymi D list bomb to her or tony (or mike)(or whoever) you will be punished with amaziiiing things. also no she’s not missing an arm she was hiding a tray.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5163064384/in/photostream/

oh hi you again.

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it’s official, i am a cougar in training. addicted to hair accoutrements.

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my little impish friend is addicted to that ipad thing. she won it. she wins everything. BARFFFF. WAH wah hahaha nevermind.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162458297/in/photostream/

what was this casie?

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she ordered a hardcore truck stop breakfast with WHITE toast. i tsk tsk’d that and she put me in my place. you go all the way with eating grease i guess. breakfast is the one meal of the day you do not compromise or make comments about other’s choices by lest you wanna get cut.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5163066378/in/photostream/

what is this a movember cross-promo or what? sneaker. i’m going to hold a huge raymitheminx.com sign behind whatever next thing you’re doing or like run passed a window a bunch with sparklers and shit. don’t think i won’t.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162459621/in/photostream/

stress lean out!

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oh yeah baby soak it innnnnnnnnnn.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162460115/in/photostream/

just kidding i’m a nice humble down to earth girl.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5163067424/in/photostream/

i look big and bootylicious here. i am actually an inch taller than beyonce and doesn’t she look like a big ass dragon on tv? just wait til i’m in heels and my crazy dresses (yes two) on thursday. i’m going to be all over your eyeballs.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162460537/in/photostream/

i would murder something for one of those sausages right now.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162460747/in/photostream/

no this! jerk chicken salad. not on the menu. muffy said a guy in the back had a bottle of jerk sauce (forget what country he’s from) i know i earned me some street cred with him on this. halfway through my face pricked sweats it was awesome. people get endorphin surges from spicy food cos the body thinks it’s in pain and wants to protect it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162461141/in/photostream/

it would be nice to hang out in the seventies for a month.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5163068824/in/photostream/

forget what we were joking about but she said “just the tip” and we died laughing and got shivers and said ew gross. ew penis. hahaha um i think you need to be invited to my brain to get why i think this is funny right now.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5163069038/in/photostream/

AVOID WHITE FOODS OK OMFG. why eat something that’s stripped of all its nutrients?

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if you responded by slamming my face in this i would just laugh and give you props. i am not as uptight and crazy insane bitchy as you think i am really laid back and easy going, anti-reactionary in situations where one might embarrass me. you can go through life and nothing funny can ever happen around you, boring. the worst moments is when you prank someone and they have this godawful reaction that makes everyone nervous and uncomfortable and like, wow, did he really lose his shit like that?

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look at that why the hell am i single? not saying i’m a mega-babe or anything but like, don’t you want to be feeding that every single day?

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and pretending you are listening to everything (and there’s lots!) i have to say meanwhile you are picturing me dancing around in stupid underwear haha.

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congratulations on leaving the house today. yeah thanks, you too. clink.

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oh i remember what you said here hahahah. we only get mean when we talk about all the mean we get (apparently i am the only one of us who gets it) but really it is such a waste of time focusing on that stuff.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162463963/in/photostream/

GET ON THE RAYMI BANDWAGON OR BE ON THE HATER TRAIL IT PASSES.

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someone was in a big hurry?

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ha.

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have your worn those lolita shades yet?

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she is so teeny. good teeny. curvy as crap too.

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i am a professional here guys.

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laughing cos i said here you can take my picture in a way that was like she is really lucky to get to take my photo at that moment in time.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5163072618/in/photostream/

PROFESSIONAL.

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i laugh in the face of danger. i look like your parents on vacation in europe in their leather jackets they bought just to wear around the urban settings. where is a fountain when you need one?

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get out of my way workers.

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i just wish more things were going on in this picture.

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money shot. i should have held up my body with my butt cheeks alone like that hot asian chick multiple seasons back on ANTM for the trapeze whatever shoot man they gave her so much grief over her wicked body. i don’t care anymore about how hourglass i get, i am going bombshell.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162467165/in/photostream/

don’t try this at home kids.

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day time hang outs are stressful. day light on the vampire photoshopless aging socialite, quelle drag.

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the chef wanted me to photograph muffy’s lunch.

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food would go ice cold if i were in charge of presentation i’d be all macgyver PASS ME THAT TOOTHPICK AND I NEED TO CORKSCREW THESE ONIONS then blam we all die cos i took so long.

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why does asparagus make your pee stink?

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boom pens for my swag bags have clocks. i brought a handful home last time for adventurehouse didn’t know if melucas noticed or not, i presented one to lucas and melodie said she already stole one hahah. um as if i know how to set the thing.

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this shirt is amazing for two reasons 1. you get to poke at my nipples (casie did) and 2. i look like one of the fish from mezzrow’s.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162470583/in/photostream/

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gift cards for my swag bags for YOU guys and pens (with clocks)(i am practically your sugar daddy here i bought you a watch with a pen attached to it you’re welcome). they know how i love the coke in glass experience so i got another 6-er, bigger bottles this time eh eh niiiiice.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162471003/in/photostream/

tomorrow i am looking forward to inserting these into their sleeves god i love tedious tasks so much sometimes best thinking time ever.

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then yoko showed up to pick my brain for blogto. she thought we were the same age. i am younger. i want to die. kidding. dayna and i met at beer fest, is that what it’s called? anyway, i love BOOM and so should you. i also love that they have extended hours so the next thing at mod club i am getting my pre-drink and eat on there. SMRT.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162404065/

i selected two dresses for thursday. i walked in like a mental told them what was what and they said totally lets do this raymi. i was in gym clothes and mania and it worked heheh.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5163010312/in/photostream/

picture this and marie antoinette up-do and heels.

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singing the beatles.

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this one too. oh man i look tired but yeah, look! i’ve always wanted to wear something ridiculous like this. i’ve been staring shkank in the face ever since i joined my gym. this is in shkank’s window now i tweeted it and was thinking why don’t i go in there instead of buying a playboy bunny costume (which i am still tempted to do, might throw a party on my blog anniversary’s actual date nov 28) that might look cheap and too costumey. normally shkank only works with stylists but, when you are your own stylist like i am, f that you dress me and you dress me now.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5163008590/in/photostream/

they have so much to choose from so many styles. the blue one is worth $550 and the pink $600. i am borrowing them unless some baller wants to buy them for me and if you spill anything on me i will be giving you the bill.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5162401449/in/photostream/

before leaving dad’s this morning. we practiced some tunes last nite. he has material prepared to rip me on stage with oh god i hope you are grateful for the spectacle you’re going to be privy to.

ps. my grandpa was in the war. i invited him to speak to my class in grade 6 for remembrance day which made everyone laugh their asses off but my teacher asked me to ask so i did. instead he wrote a long account of his wisdoms regarding all that (he was in intelligence, i come from a long line of brainiacs) and i read that to the class i’m sure no one knew what the hell it was i was reading but my teacher had tears in her eyes by the end and then he died just over a month later on the same date as john lennon’s death. it was the last thing he wrote really. they read some of it at the funeral. the funeral dude said my name up there on the podium during and it resonated, it was one of those self aware moments you get, one of the first i ever had i think. people are giving me shit about having an event on remembrance day like the whole day should be respected and somber. i think my grandpa would be very proud of me. i know i was young when he died but i still remember him and have dreams about him sometimes. he taught me chess and took an interest in me because he knew i was smart. oh my god i better not say any of this shit on the mic i will be bawling. i am not allowed to embarrass my mom either i was going to drag her on stage to present her with something in front of all of you. she gets really shy in public for some reason you think she would be loving the attention but no, she is a lady. she said that it’s for me, the spotlight. i am just as shy as her. i really do have to fight it you see snapshots of me hamming it up but they’re snapshots. i am already flushing all over from the couch just thinking about people looking at me so much.

my nana had a bad bail yesterday. compartmentalizing stress and grief. ugh.

two more sleeps. email: mandie.j.armstrong at gmail dot com for media rsvp g list cheapskaaaates.



Vomments (29)

this is my crap that i have loved (and still love) dearly and now it can be yours. pre-dibs call or simply just gawk at the ish vicariously. if you like it enough i’ll tell the clothing rack girl to put it aside for you, speaking of, mer doesn’t want to do that so if there’s a responsible money-loving keener out there who wants a role on thursday get in touch and i’ll put you in touch with mandie (my assistant). i’m donating a huge portion to sistering.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160602814/

that skirt.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160602736/in/photostream/

skirt and shoes. i’m being ruthless here.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160000191/in/photostream/

shirt. also worn here

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160000139/in/photostream/

shorts.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160000087/in/photostream/

shirt. necklace.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160602546/in/photostream/

mask.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160000011/in/photostream/

dress.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160602344/in/photostream/

dress.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160602392/in/photostream/

shirt.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159999847/in/photostream/

dress, necklace too. (it’s kinda fallen apart you can have it in a big handful haha).

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159999817/in/photostream/

dress.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160602236/in/photostream/

hippie dress thing.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160602176/in/photostream/

shirt.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159999657/in/photostream/

raymi wig if i can find it also shirt from above.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160602062/in/photostream/

shirt.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160601990/in/photostream/

shirt.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160601956/in/photostream/

pants and jacket.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159999465/in/photostream/

hat.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159999415/in/photostream/

pants. bag.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160601852/in/photostream/

dress.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160601778/in/photostream/

hat. hmmmmmaybe.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159999279/in/photostream/

shoes. dress if allison wants to get rid of it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160601694/in/photostream/

shirt. both of them.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159999145/in/photostream/

tights.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160601608/in/photostream/

skirt.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160601572/in/photostream/

shirt.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160601530/in/photostream/

jacket.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159999005/in/photostream/

rickenbacker (seriously he wants to sell it but for this you gotta email).

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159998965/in/photostream/

magnet.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160601436/in/photostream/

dress and necklace.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159998897/in/photostream/

pants. boots. maybe.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160601350/in/photostream/

hat.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159998799/in/photostream/

sweater.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159998767/in/photostream/

sweater.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159998735/in/photostream/

bracelet.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160601164/in/photostream/

cardigan.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159998675/in/photostream/

bag (with all the crap in it) shoes (size 8). also i can’t find that jacket :(

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160601076/in/photostream/

shirt.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160601042/in/photostream/

jumper and necklace. get your own bad attitude though.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159998571/in/photostream/

size 2. still fits but is cameltoe city.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159998497/in/photostream/

sigh.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160600984/in/photostream/

shirt.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160600916/in/photostream/

shirt and glasses (unless craig comes to claim his glasses hahah).

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159998345/in/photostream/

bag again. this is my 27th birthday.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160600778/in/photostream/

necklace.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159998257/in/photostream/

necklace, cardi, shirt.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160600662/in/photostream/

same shirt.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160600630/in/photostream/

dress.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159998093/in/photostream/

t-shirt, necklace, (good for weed holding or other materials) date with my mom.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159998065/in/photostream/

shirt, necklace.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160600514/in/photostream/

sweater tied around my neck.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159997985/in/photostream/

car. kidding.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160600240/in/photostream/

showing necklace and bag again.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159997711/in/photostream/

damn i’m cool.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159997635/in/photostream/

dress.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160600018/in/photostream/

shorts.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160599930/in/photostream/

shirt.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159997489/in/photostream/

dress, glasses, sandals.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160599812/in/photostream/

date with that guy.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160599652/in/photostream/

necklace, shorts.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160599600/in/photostream/

mmmmaybe that shirt dress. though it’s so easy to get one nowadays.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159997145/in/photostream/

shirt.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159997089/in/photostream/

shirt.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159997023/in/photostream/

cameo.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159996977/in/photostream/

dress.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5160599324/in/photostream/

dress.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159996799/in/photostream/

dress.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159996699/in/photostream/

that’s all i got through for now. tons of shoes and jewelry, books, trinkets, lots more clothes. any size inquiries put it in the comments or email.

raymi art for sale:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4010913241/in/set-72157614772388519/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/3330743065/in/set-72157614772388519/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/3330747259/in/set-72157614772388519/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/3331577702/in/set-72157614772388519/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/3330742523/in/set-72157614772388519/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/3330743025/in/set-72157614772388519/

(now painted gold)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/3331577458/in/set-72157614772388519/

i think i have this still? yes i do.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/3331577286/in/set-72157614772388519/

has a punk rock slash through the middle. don’t ask.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/3331851890/in/set-72157614772388519/

emo cupcake. plus a few others i can’t find pics of at the moment.



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