sorry (not sorry) to brag but look how young i looked last night it’s like my blackberry had beer goggles or something. nah it’s definitely one thousand per cent having to do with the cake makeup i layered on for my audition. i had a late night the evening prior, like a normal responsible human being would the eve of something important involving being on camera. the second i make a serious commitment and pencil it in my brain along with that goes i am so getting gonged the day before february whatever day it is i have that important thing to do. another interesting phenomenon is the night before a flight it’s like your friends have to take you out to get polluted i have been hearing hilarious hangover airport stories for over a decade (i started young) and they never fail to delight me. maybe i’ll tell some now.
yesterday i was a disaster but i looked amazing. i wore two different skinny day dresses and zero underwear. i bought that red dress over summer and only ever wore it in the changing room the day i bought it and only posted one photo of it because i could only contort my body just so in the mirror. i bought that courtney love dress the same day too, which is incredible for concealing everything. melodie wore this red dress out the night of pride because her figure is perfect. ok back on track here, white, focus. i was only a disaster yesterday because i had fifteen hundred cups of coffee and i was jacked on audition adrenaline. i think i must have mentioned that i had an audition yesterday an equal amount of times. must of. did you know that i had an audition yesterday? that’s right, i did. yesterday, i had an audition. fact.
this makes me want to puke right now. those on the right are jerusalem artichokes, uh what? my only experience with artichokes are the times we nuked one and melted butter for dipping and they were totally not gigantic like these, each sliver of the artichoke was paper thin. sometimes we’d forget about the artichoke entirely as it was to be an appetizer to our main course, we’d just eat our food then discover the artichoke in the microwave (nuke it in a bowl of water). that happened twice in brooklyn and once in maine and then we stopped eating artichokes. on the left is cabbage of which i have epic gas from. that’s something my mom would say. mom am i turning into you? be honest.
kind of like how i used to do background fades of my canvases before drawing fallen celebrities over top. i should do another art show. i should do a lot of things. i am beside myself with stress at the moment doing many different things already i don’t know how i do it i really don’t thank you for asking.
i had two salads i was serious about my no more fucking around with rich gourmet bullshit. the world isn’t kind to fat girls. clem said that. clem is awesome. he told chels and i on multiple occasions how fat we were getting. it didn’t hurt my feelings at all. i wonder how fat chels is now. oh whatever she deserves it and she knows why. we’re good. see you in clem’s hot tub.
alright back to getting wasted two hours before a flight. i’m already over talking about that. i went to starbucks after my audition for a tea and a snack because i had had too much coffee and then i got my tea and a snack and then the barista gave me a free caramel mochiato because no one came to claim it (how clued out does one have to be to do a genius move like that?) so i of course took it and drank that along with my tea, that also had caffeine in it. chai tea latte which when i order i say tai chi latte and the girl said everyone says that. the audition people said for me to be myself and i took that to mean the myself that is gunned on 4 americanos and mildly-stoned. we’ll see if i get a callback. listen, to “be raymi” it often times requires a push. i am a nervous neurotic shy wreck. casie and i are total cases from what we do. it’s worse than being an actor. you have to be on and brave and confident. it’s terrible. james, my trainer, asked me today why i wanted to go to burlington on saturday instead of working out again. i need burnoutington. i gave him the diva response to piss him off, because i am a princess daddy’s girl and i made a stupid smirk face. i haven’t seen my dad in weeks. i feel like an island that floated away. oh that’s a nicer title than the one i have i’m changing it to that.
you can see the tone and my physique somewhat and my torso isn’t streamlined as it could look because of my pantyhose so i’m actually more trim than this. ok that was uber neurotic. why is uber underlined by spell check, is it not a word? it’s a foreign word yes?
campari something on the left, blazing apples on right. blazing apples is so good. i also had my favourite gin fizz drink. i told james i got drunk last nite. i down played it big time. i went in there prepared for a fight about it and so not going to take it. i think i earned this hangover thank you very much i am working like a goddamn dog and i want a fucking break but no, that can’t happen and also i self-sabotage by going out constantly on dates because i am hyper and can’t sit still. i can be alone for hours but then i get needy. i am totally a co-dependent type living as an independent, i’m going against the grain. look at the results.
that’s haitham. we’ve been buds for two years. he was a chum last nite. also he is kind of a mess like me so we relate to one another. i tried really hard to pose as a depressed loser and no one would have any of it at the bar. thanks guys. i also bumped into the owner of that pub i drank at and wrote steph’s letter at while waiting for superjew (who by the way everyone thought at the pub was not a nice seeming guy the pub owner told me last nite, who i’ll call shaft because i forget his name and he looked like shaft when i first saw him) to meet me. ok why am i talking about this again where am i.
pulled out old goldy bracelet cos my date from two nights ago said my other bracelets looked like a stack of kid’s 25 cent bracelets or something hahhaha. i said fuck you my mom bought me these. that guy was fun and hilarious and brought me a huge bottle of gin cos he works with a billion different booze brands. i am going to try and turn that piece of fish date into a piece of fi$h blogortunity. we had a lot of party events stories in common. i said can you imagine if we dated, i think we might die. guy high rolls it in champagne france on business for example.
adventurehouse neighbour’s offering. i wished i got a picture of this one beautiful adventurehouse offering i made us in an american eagle outfitters brown paper bag of various empties. i wished i had the time and patience to watch out the front window the look on the bum’s face upon discovering it. sometimes i am so generous. here you go buddy take it to the booze store to get some more for ya tell ‘em i say hey.
i am so pickled right now i am not drinking for awhile. i didn’t eat enough yesterday to justify the amount i drank like, at all. i just burped and it felt great. i feel great. great. yesterday we picked up tapes and batteries at vistek. i could have picked up this one guy on my way out if i wanted but i was with my colleague so i felt it wouldn’t have been appropriate also he totally would have ruined my game i would have been forced to be like go outside now please raymi has work to do. the dude was so hot too and a ups delivery man. i hate myself.
melodie made this excruciatingly detailed floor plan of adventurehouse and cheese boutique is going to make us a platter based on it. how cool is that. you can see my little nest at the very bottom and my big princess bed. don’t you feel like hugging me right now looking at that darling little room also i want this coloured in and back so i can frame it it’s so royal tenenbaums dvd insert and that movie is the best. check out our snakey adventure hallway. colleague bought a new camera we’re going to film a cribs episode of adventurehouse i hope lucas jumps out of a cupboard or something. maybe i’ll rig a bunch of crap to spill out of one of the closets. see, we live in a parkdale mansion. see, we are the best. today’s internet personae is called i am drunk still.
tomorrow we’re doing another cray cray boom brekfeast takeover raymi cooking show slash another coug bites the dust party PLEASE COME. my mom and all her posse are coming into town at 2pm the college street location 808 college street just east of ossington you should skip out of work or take a later longer lunch or maybe take the entire day off cos afterward we’re going out on the town where i will “not be drinking” and if you want to be a nerdy shy fly on the wall then that is totally fine as well but if you request me to make your food it’s free on top of the raymi D list that’s always extended to you at any and all boom locations. just tell someone that it exists and they’ll get 13% off their bill. you’re welcome. i bet my mom is going to look super hot and be all shy. i like how she acts all not shy and big and smart on my blog but then at my events she’s bashful and ladylike and demure but then two glasses of wine later we’re kardashianing all over the place. nightmare.
one time, i could have murdered her. i was hired to be the slutty ms. claus at the andy kim holiday party at the mod club. i invite my mom. she gets wasters. she retells this story a billion times. the bartender poured her a glass of wine to the top she thinks it’s cos she’s so hot or something (mom they do that for me all the time get over yourself) and it’s my duty to wander around and be a slutty christmas thing and at the end hand out rolled up posters of andy kim to fans (my mom kissed andy kim too there’s a photo of it. the guy is more orange than me) and so my wasted mother is bopping me on the head with a rolled up poster while i’m smiling and BEING PROFESSIONAL sending people off like a good little hostess should meanwhile my mom is bleating yaaaaaaaaaak at me like jim carrey in ace ventura pet detective on the plane to the dude sitting next to him and i’m swearing at my mother to fuck off and get lost under my breath, whisper hissing full on but she just won’t stop and her useless fucking date at the time won’t even drag her away i’m like dude get her out of here now then she pokes me in the eyeball with a pointy part of her poster megaphone and my eye instantly goes bloodshot tears up all over my face and in insurmountable pain. she stabbed my eye and now i am sooooo angry and she just bursts into violent giggle fits of laughter and practically pisses herself all in front of every single person exiting the venue. suffice it to say they never hired me back even though i still have the santa slut suit that they paid for and the holiday party happens every single year. thank you mom! anyway this entire scenario will likely be repeated tomorrow afternoon so please do come it will make this video look like a nap in the park.
doing the ladder with both feet in these little boxes like a hyper spazz assembly line and really works your core. joseph demonstrates and we all follow until we’re on the cusp of blacking out. results!
i’m super angry right now. i did this entire post this morning but the server conked out and i lost the draft. i am trying to conjure up a lightning bolt to strike into the earth i am that kind of pissed off. two days now my blog has suffered by the hands of the server’s attack. i think i must be pre-pre-menstrual or all the go go go is getting to me finally as i will snap at you no problem just give me a reason.
push up position, then you waggle your legs, it works your abs/core. some cheaters rested on their arms in true plank formation. it is difficult either way. third time doing this station i was spent.
this is called exercise, not torture. i never forget that douglas coupland quote from generation x about how in the future when people rediscover the planet after armageddon they’ll come upon gym equipment and assume we were a species obsessed with torture.
i was also wicked at this. if i’m doing something and it gets tough i just breath calmly and stretch flex whatever i need to evenly distribute the weight throughout my body so that i’m not using mostly my arms or legs.
i thought that headband wrapped around my wrist would look cool in photos. also it might wipe some sweat off. more than anything it just constricted my circulation.
i hated this one the most and cheated the most on it but during my last go i tried really hard and pushed myself to impress whoever might be looking. zero people were looking.
i had a funny segue about how i tucker max’d a bunch of hippies on satruday night i can’t remember how i worked it in before but anyway here is a little unrelated anecdote you can feast your brain on when you’re done staring at my ass.
even if you placed just one behind someone’s heel. that’s all it takes. then it just wobbles back and forth like a hammock. why it’s so funny to me i dunno.
work it girls and other gay motivational things. if you want to try this RE-Energizer Boot Camp there is on offer 5-6 slots open to fill, first come first serve. *Recommended that participants live in or relatively convenient location to the Junction though not necessary.
there is a distinction between Re-Energizer Boot Camp and Starter Packages. you do boot camp a couple times to see how you like it then you can transition into your starter package.
Program customization is too long to list and it’s tailored to each individual. everyone is different and reacts differently to exercise, building, some have more fat, or less to lose, you get the idea.
all classes are designed to stay within age appropriate heart rate (HR) zones so it’s recommended that participants wear monitors so they can follow their performance and maintain throughout the session. i wear one.
tarek is giving me another gym bag for my niece. he has more bags for me too can’t wait can’t wait.
ok i’m going to do my food journal now. i’ve missed a few days.
The Motion Room
3431 Dundas St. W. Suite 200
647 351 8671
Email: info@themotionroom.ca
yesterday at dinner we pretended it was my birthday. my 28th birthday. i kept trying to say 22nd birthday. got a couple shots out of it. it pre-bummed me out. i have over two months to go and i’m hanging on by a thread. i must make it to 28 i will not be a 27 club casualty.
this is going to be fun. lucas tweeted “cos we were tired of cleaning up after people” haha who is this “we” lucas? as if you ever clean.
here are some photos of the last time i will ever eat pasta and have photographic evidence of it.
haha look how judgy i am. their pasta is the best and that kid went to tuscany and came back to show everyone what he learned. romagna mia sponsors george brown students too, the over flow of students in whatever course get to cook in the kitchen here. soon romagna mia will be renovating and changing everything.
i tried not to eat too much of this, this, whatever it was. every time i say something ignorant regarding food on my blog the pleasure and satisfaction of frustrated foodie geeks the city over glaring into their monitors is endless.
it’s tarek. i love him. he is to the point, doesn’t take any shit, looks out for me, gives great nurturing supportive advice. totally has my back. major role model for me.
sort of blogged these before sort of didn’t. mel and i were looking through my photos not too long ago and came across this folder and she said they were awesome pictures why didn’t i blog them all? after looking through your personal archives and time passes you forget things. so if you’ve seen scraps of these before or i repeat myself, sorry.
this is date two with guy i picked up at my gym who i think hates me now but whatever he is pretty crotchety and i totally am not the right kind of person to tolerate his anal moodiness so match from hell pretty much and i think i’m too fat for him i blame all my date failures on my body and not at all on my winning personality disorder.
my hair looks totally stupid. this summer heat wave and my hair cut ruined my life. working in a bar under third world working conditions (no a/c) also fucked it all up too.
mental hair. that jumper exploded apart too many times in the car but luckily gym guy had a huge safety pin for some happy coincidence to pin it together again. i bought that at urban outfitters.
this photo is shit i know for fact there was a better one. can’t be bothered to dig it up. i don’t look like this anymore anyway so who even cares. social irrelevance.
we copied one of these drinks when we went to his cottage the following weekend. or whenever we went. i just found some uber adorable photos of myself from then i never posted.
if you want to date me you can bid on me for charity on february 10 at the hideout and if we fall in love maybe we can be each other’s valentine’s date or i can bring you to a singles mixer which essentially should be called, none of are good enough for the other so lets get slammered.
Below are the details of the event.
Date & Time: February 10, 2011. Doors are at 8PM.
Location: The Hideout, 484 Queen Street West, Toronto, ON M5V 2B4
Cost: $5 at the door
Bachelor/Bachelorette Cost: Bidding will begin at $25.00 – there will be
10 bachelors and 10 bachelorettes – we will auctioning off 5 men and 5
women at 9:30pm and then the awesome cover band we have lined up will play
a set and the second group will be auctioned off at 11pm. * All of our
amazing people being auctioned off first will have to be there by 9pm
sharp & the rest by 10pm. We will figure out who goes where once all
participants are confirmed.
*Please note that the band and venue costs are being covered by The
Hideout so door cost will go directly to Heart & Stroke. *
Fun details:
– Highest male & female bidders from the audience will each receive a Nella Bella handbag (f)/duffle bag(m) as well
as a $100 bar tab from Sleeman’s.
-The 20 couples will be given the option to either spend the evening
together or discuss plans for a date on a different day.
this will be great to see which ones of us get the highest bid or the lowest. i’m sure there will be some crushed and/or inflated egos. to save face maybe casie and i can pair up for a combo-date. i think we both put out. depending. naturally.
here i am right now and here is an awkwardly embarrassing clip of what i thought was a brilliant performance at the time.
now feast your ears on this one.
i have an audition tomorrow i am nervous and excited about. i am trying to go zen about it and not over-prepare. that’s enough jinxing. also on thursday i am doing another BOOM party this time it’s a MEET THE COUGARS jamboree so please do come out. if i cook for you then you don’t have to pay. what fun and how generous, right? 808 COLLEGE STREET 2PM.
i cried today during my assessment. the muscle weight i have is fucking with me large. i know i look better and the weight has been redistributed but it’s just frustrating living the life i live eating and drinking the way i do and i’m just about to sign on for another festival of chefs. something’s gotta change. i have to take on cuisine like a wine tasting, chew don’t swallow. i’ll have a big wad of napkins full of mush. then i’ll compost it.
in a week or two is my meltdown phase where the fat comes off more and the sleek tone is revealed. i have reduced my body fat over 2%. that’s a lot apparently, for women. i still cried though.
went to an after hours saturday night. it was quite the experience i wrote about it for sofi’s blog. she said the following nice things
P.S. I am not licking your ass or sucking up or anything, but I think you are a bit of a genius. I will buy your book.
THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH THIS STORY IS LIKE JACK KEROUAC MEETS JACQUELINE SUSANN MEETS LAUREN MOTHERFUCKING WHITE.
Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa amazing! What form of alternative universe do you live, because this funtime party is NOT the Toronto I am familiar with. This is so awesome. Thank you for doing this.
clearly i am a professional dater so obviously you want to pay the heart and stroke foundation to court me.
i got blamed for this. TWICE. saturday night i got blamed for all sorts of things by older dowdier chicks it really pissed me off. that paper hadn’t even touched my hand, it’s pbc’s poem he was going to read (that he still read) then it was on fire and guess who was the one to pour beer on it to save the pub? that’s right, ME. i was like oh you scotsmen are so cheap and drunks you’d rather the bar burn down around you then waste some of your pint. then one woman to me says ok watch the candle, in a nice way, ok fine yeah i got that arleady but then this other woman down the table says can i have that paper? as i am lining it up for this photo here and i say, why is that? knowing exactly fucking why she’s requesting it. she goes, SO IT DOESN’T SET ON FIRE AGAIN in total teacher voice. me, calmly (fuming) reply yes sure just let me take this picture of it first. both times me trying to get a shot of it and i get lectured twice before i can even take the fucking picture. i take the picture and toss the paper down the table to/at her. melodie says to her i think she’s fine. i have never been treated like an inept child so much before in my life before being blond. i swear.
I just wanted to write you and tell you that I love, love love your blog. I have been reading it for a looong time, since you were with your ex and had long black hair. I remember the first post I read you pointed out the Pink Floyd pig in Children of Men and I dug that because I love Pink Floyd. That seems kinda crazy to remember the first post I read, don’t think I’m crazy! But you just made such an impression on me because I had never seen anything like your blog. There really isn’t anything like it, actually. I love your sense of style, it is so brave and cool and trendsetting, I’ll see stuff on fashion blogs that you wore a year ago and you’re over it and onto something else nobody is wearing yet, but everyone will be in a year. You are not afraid to put the most out there stuff together and it looks awesome.
Anyway I just really wanted to thank you for your blog and putting everything out there. I was so proud of you when you broke up with your boyfriend (my fiance, we were engaged, pay attention people you keep getting it wrong) and went out on your own. Thank you for showing how awesome it can be to be independent and just do your thing and throw off the shackles of an oppressive relationship that didn’t let you be yourself. At least, that is my interpretation of it I guess…that is what I have been going through lately. I separated from my husband after being together for like 7 years, and it was just not a good relationship for me, it hurt me in a lot of ways and I feel like I was being forced into the mold he made for me. For the first time in a long time I am finally able to stretch out and be myself and figure out what I want out of life. I feel so free in a way that I haven’t ever felt. When I was younger (I am 27 now), and when I met him, I felt like I HAD to have a boyfriend, like I was missing part of me that could only be made whole by another person. I don’t feel that way at all now. I feel like I escaped while I’m still young and cute and the freedom I have to live my own life is intoxicating. Maybe I needed to have a devastatingly shitty relationship to make me realize that or something? I bet people do this to you a lot, go into intimate details about their problems and personal life through the anonymity of the internet because they feel like they know you so well, because you create such an intimacy with your blog.
Well I have never written to you before and only commented like literally one time, but I just wanted to say thank you for your blog, I love it and I really hardly miss a thing on it. Also, thanks for listening. What you’re doing is really cool and like so groundbreaking. I know one day you are going to be so famous, and you deserve it. Keep up the hard work, keep being yourself, keep rocking life, you are an inspiration and beautiful and awesome.
not only am i adorable but i play it in real life too. got baked and immediately went into the yorkville toy store (legendarily where angelina jolie shopped when she was in town during film fest, also known as, GOOD TO KNOW THANKS) as whatever thing you do the second you are lit hang on tight cos that’s your activity for the next twenty or so minutes. vortex. see you on the other side. if i really wanted to put my mind to it (pass) i could easily of had an anxiety attack.
I continue plowing (Canadian: ploughing???) thru your blog. I like
Flickr for pictures because Flickr does full screen (slideshow mode),
but then you have to go to the blog for the commentary. Is that why you
post to both — to give us a decent look at the pix? Isn’t there a blog
program that will allow full size for pictures? Seriously, having two
screens is handy — do you think I’m nuts? Basically I’m a
photographer, and I like to see pictures looking good.
When I came across your blog a month ago, it was like coming in at the
middle of a movie. That’s why I wanted to look at all the old pictures
and entries. Such a story you have, and I wanted to see the beginning.
(I am starting to get the idea now — may not make it through all 50,000
entries — sorry.) Didn’t I pick up somewhere that you’re working on
another book? That would be a good read — with 10 years of material,
you now have enough there for an illustrated book called “The Best of
Raymi – 2001 to 2011″.
Just saw your latest post. It’s a moving story — tears coming up. My
son who’s your age had a drinking problem. DUI — big accident — bad
injuries (not his) — saved from death by airbags — jail + 6 months
lock-up in rehab. Giving up alcohol was the easy part. Hardest point
for him: ditching drinking buddies and drinking spots, then finding new
friends and a new environment. I thought that’s what you’ve been
trying with your fitness program. The fitness route was what my son
took, but more along the lines of buffing up. (Then the idiot started
dealing steroids — more drama with the law — but he’s come around now.)
You’re incredible to put all this out for us. A free gift to the
world. One way or another, it’s the kind of story that all of us go
through in our twenties — that’s why it resonates. All the best . . .
I just wanted to write to let you know that I really think you are a truly wonderful person, despite what others may think. I admire the way you completely live your life just unapologetically. I wish I had the courage to be that way and to just live exactly the way I would want to.
Your post really spoke to me today. I am (like you) a chronic overachiever and as a result of that have developed a lot of severe anxiety issues. I have been in and out of counseling for the last several years, but have never been on medication (I just don’t want to put that stuff into my body) although I completely understand that it works wonders for many other people. Unlike you though, I don’t share my anxiety issues with many people, with anyone really. I don’t know what that would be like. Liberating? Therapeutic? I don’t know. Sometimes, I feel like I am suffering completely alone, and when I am having hard days, like the last few, when my stress manifests itself in such bad tremors that I can’t even cut open a bag of milk, I can’t help but feel like something is just plain wrong with me. Because I have a hard time talking about my issues, it just makes me feel better to know that I am not alone, and that this doesn’t have to define me as a person. It is very inspirational and motivating for me to see successful people, such as yourself, persevering and working through it to live the life you envision for yourself, despite having anxiety.
I just moved to a brand new city three weeks ago and basically upended my life. Along with changing cities, moving away from all of my friends and family, and going back to school to do my Masters, came a whole ton of new anxiety. I started seeing a new counselor yesterday actually. Anyway, she told me that often it is those of us who accomplish great things, and put pressure on ourselves to continuously achieve and move forward who often have the highest levels of anxiety (and whom she sees the most of). Basically, she pointed out to be that if we didn’t care so much about our futures/lives/work, etc and were just carefree all the time, we would never feel anxious – but we would also never accomplish half of what we do.
Anyhow, I just wanted to say thank you for being who you are and for sharing it with the rest of us.
today is burns day it’s essentially scotland’s st. patrick’s day. i am considering wearing my family anderson tartan jacket to a pub with half of the pbc tonight. one of them is reading poetry. in his scottish accent. it’s going to be amazing. i was going to go to the burbs but i just have too much work in the city and the train there will exhaust me and the ride back monday morning i can’t relax in BURN-OUTINGTON just yet unfortunately. miss you guys.
my brother’s girlfriend got me that shirt, with matching shorts and a bunch of lotions and a matching sleeping mask. that part of the gift went to pbc hilariously out at the bar who knows where it ended up.
killed it at TMR today. the re-energizer boot camp. super fun. melodie, casie, britt and i and a whole pack of others. those shots coming soon. i know i say this a lot but i mean it. i am an animal.
Where was this video specifically shot. I can see water in the background and it says you are from Canada…that is all I can figure out! By the way, it is one of my favorites. I am also trying to figure out how the person got shots of the girl singing. Especially the shots from dead on in front of her…..anyway, I love this song and love this video!
Go Leafs!
Walter Pompei
seriously? ok. we had a robotic arm that we rented for $10,000 which was great because it was able to rotate on a 360 degree axis from only mounted on the windscreen it was amazing. the car itself, outfitted with special lighting (a subaru wrx sti all blue suede interior and bucket seats) traveling speed approximately (what is the speed limit of lakeshore between bronte and oakville exactly?) 60-70km/h as we’re canadian like you mentioned so i dunno what that would be in pompei. uh what else, this video is as viral as it gets for an obscure song like this, almost 50,000 views on youtube i have no idea why i don’t get offered money for it but i get offered money for some tetris halloween costume stupidity video that doesn’t even have a fifth of the traffic. in the future i will just film the video on my own, using my own arm, and save the money.
