last nite jacob tried to recite me his poetry and i said NO I FUCKING HATE POETRY THERE IS NO PLACE FOR IT and he’s all that’s cool cos you can be hating it the entire time i say it so he starts to say it and i said NO NO NO SHUT UP IT’S BORING STOP STOP. hey man thanks for “watching” my beers for me when i went out for a smoke and when i say watch, i mean THANK YOU FOR LEAVING WITH MY FUCKING BEERS YOU ASSHOLE!

and all that pretentious shit you said about the beatniks and pretty much everything you said was full of shit.

there’s just too many things to say about these. seriously. what in the fuck happened? notice how i get uglier and manlier as i age? do you like how i have a california tan in most of them? and the denim one, uh hello body, where are you? that’s the one and only time i ever had my ears pierced. ps. we never owned a crimper, the nite before i slept with my hair in a million braids. i also preferred to wear my bangs up in a hairspray-hardened swoop on my head for years! the one where i look mostly mannish, the green crochet vest, i am wearing black thigh high stockings with a short plaid skirt, what a whore. i look like an extra on 7th heaven.

miller auditions

this is incredibly hilarious.

you looked sexy even though you were having a seizure. it was in the hair care section at the Vancouver walgreens. i was the guy in the blue shirt holding your legs while that old man put his wallet in your mouth. let’s get together when you’re feeling less woozy

make your oscar predictions. i’ve barely seen these fuckin’ movies but still i know that all of my guesses are spot on.

sarah fucking rules.

survivor was so good last nite so good.

also upstairs at czovskis however you spell it ($3.50 50s yo!) i cried like a little baby cos noel and i were having a serious discussion about how all this time i thought our circle of friends HATED ME but turns out they LOVE ME and say NICE THINGS about me behind my back but never ever to me cos they thought i knew how they felt already but i DIDN’T so then i started drunk-bawling. so gay. i was all WHY DIDN’T THEY TELL ME I NEEEEDED TO KNOW THESE THINGS!

anyway, last nite was another one for the books of mental retardation.

at samir’s watching survivor he’s all YOU ARE SO 22 and i said oooh sorry samir that i have a “personality” and a “sense of humor” and i did the quotation marks sign with my fingers when i said it and kept talking as i was walking down the stairs to go to the bathroom “and i’m sorry that people LIKE ME too.”

no i’m not.