dogs are dumb

i want to squeeze them and kiss them all at the same time!

we saw mi-3 last nite, it was alright. in every tom cruise movie when he takes his shirt off he does the same fucking I AM TOM CRUISE TAKING OFF MY SHIRT move where he’s all intensely looking at the girl, sorry dude, i would fully bust up laughing if i was in the room and saw you do that neck crane SHE IS THE CENTRE OF MY MOTHER FUCKING UNIVERSE eye contact crap.

maybe he knows what it’s all about though, maybe we all should be making grandiose productions of removing articles of clothing, like when you take off your work socks you can roll them down your legs like THEY’RE ON FIRE and then totally fucking launch them across the room like you are some mexican baseball pitcher, i dunno.

back to mi-3, there’s at least 30 parts in the movie where you will be WHAT THE FUCK NOT POSSIBLE for example how his wife brings him back to life after he electrocutes himself cos there’s a microchip bomb in his fucking head and so she brings him back to life by means of oldschool CPR and then resorts to punching and pounding on his chest and IT WORKS!

it’s good to know that i can put live power lines into a bowl of water and put a popsicle stick between my teeth and then have my wife pull the switch and zap the hell out of myself and i will totally come back to life.

uh maybe you shouldn’t have read the last two paragraphs if you didn’t want the end spoiled for you.

whatever. it’s still worth seeing, fil liked it.

the best line is when lawrence fishburne says DON’T INTERRUPT ME WHEN I’M ASKING RHETORICAL QUESTIONS.

and at the end of the film when it got all silent and right before the credits began i yelled out SCIIIIENNNTOOOOLOGYYYYYYY!

my green thai curry turned out very professional tasting.

the people in this building are complete assholes when it comes to laundry, if our clothes are left in the washer or dryer for 5 minutes too long they are violently thrown onto one of the counters in a big confusing mess, like holy rageaholics i’m sorry you are a hundred years old and live and die by the laundry clock but fuck, touch my laundry again and i will fucking kill you.

how’s that for rageahol!

fil’s wish

so tonite master chef raymi, that’s me, will be preparing a chicken and rice green thai curry dish with tomato, green onion, zuccini and mushrooms. i may or may not add the mushrooms, they might take over flavor-wise, tho there will also be spinach in it hi i am domesticated.

i flicked a cigarette at samir’s mouth/chin last nite by mistake.

i was trying to get him in the chest.

i felt bad too, mostly cos there were witnesses. i don’t like it when people outside of our circle know how evil i am.

when we left samir played the megatouch machine like it was a keyboard to the beat of the 80s music that was on and on our way back to the condo he said some shit, making fun of me with fil and i said YEAH I’M GOING TO FILE THAT UNDER NOT FUNNY.

it’s true.

look my crazy bird picture has a new home in willheim’s studio!

also, samir is gay! who knew?

last nite after le pub with samir we switched sides of the bed so fil could spoon me and play with my tits and he goes NICE CANS and then it was like something more was going to happen and perhaps the thought of it bade fil an overwhelming wave of exhaustion cos he fell asleep instantly with his hand on my right boob, snoring.

raymi says:

and then u throw in the odd raymi shut up comment

raymi says:

when i start speaking my mind

sodasamson says:

ahhhh

raymi says:

or sharing my feelings

sodasamson says:

just because it’s not the Raymi show?

raymi says:

no

raymi says:

u always cut me off and tell me that i am SO 23

raymi says:

and like when im 30 u will just call me old and ugly and no longer relevant

sodasamson says:

haha

sodasamson says:

what’s with you and being relevant?

raymi says:

ungh

raymi says:

u dont take me seriously

raymi says:

u are also sexist

sodasamson says:

haha

sodasamson says:

I take you seriously

raymi says:

yeh sure

sodasamson says:

are we gonna fight all night

raymi says:

when u disagree with me u call me 23 or u talk over me

raymi says:

NO

raymi says:

this is fun

sodasamson says:

is this what I have to look forward to

raymi says:

ungh

sodasamson says:

you’re 23

sodasamson says:

23

raymi says:

u also have fagging off with my boyfriend to look forward to

raymi says:

I KNOW IM 23 BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING

raymi says:

so what you are 30 and dusty and your balls are OLD

sodasamson says:

lol

raymi says:

u also say lol

raymi says:

old people say that

sodasamson says:

okay let’s hug and make up

raymi says:

open up the window and let some of the old out

sodasamson says:

stop being bitchy or I’m not going out

raymi says:

do u want me to bring you some ensure

raymi says:

im not being bitchy im joking with you

raymi says:

its annoying isnt it when u play the age game

sodasamson says:

I’m not annoyed

raymi says:

what are you going to eat tonite

raymi says:

are u going to be drunklor

sodasamson says:

I may be drunklor if phil picks me up

raymi says:

he totally will

raymi says:

if u call him he’ll tell u right away cos its me calling i am not as important he says “i will call you back”

raymi says:

fil is also sexist

raymi says:

that whole “philogynist” shit is a lie

raymi says:

when u come here i want u to yell at every single kid in the park

raymi says:

maybe bring a microphone and we’ll plug it into fils amp

sodasamson says:

only if you stand next to me topless

raymi says:

AHAHAHAHA

raymi says:

and the moms will be all well i never

raymi says:

and the dads will be uh, look away…timmy….

raymi says:

and fil can play his bass

raymi says:

with no pants on

sodasamson says:

haha

raymi says:

SINGLOR SAMIR

sodasamson says:

totes

raymi says:

arent u older than 30?

sodasamson says:

yes I am older then 30

sodasamson says:

what are you posting

raymi says:

how old are you

sodasamson says:

33

raymi says:

heh

sodasamson says:

WHAT ARE YOU posting

raymi says:

HAHAHAHA

raymi says:

i am dressed like a total skank

raymi says:

http://raymitheminx.blogspot.com/2006/05/raymi-says-and-then-u-throw-in-odd.html

raymi says:

i need to find a dumb picture of you